Courtroom Romance *rawr*

Guilty (Pleasure)

Glistening lime hues met my wide orbs.

He was magnificent.

The colossal, yet fitting pedestal he sat upon looked awfully a lot like a jury stand, but the sheer professionality of the column made his protruding beer belly seem homely, and... possibly... warm to the touch. Shakira could only hope of one day holding his gruff and swampy hand, but alas, it was only a dream of hers.

Shrek hollered out, while keeping passionate orb contact with me.

"Do you plead Guilty, or innocent to these claims Mrs. Shakira?"

"You should ask my hips, they don't lie ;)" I sung out to the gentleman in front of me.

My full eyelashes fluttered like butterfly wings, and I felt all four of my cheeks warm up with a pinkish tint. I leaned forward in my squeaky office chair, and licked my lips until they resembled a glazed Krispy Kreme donut.

Shrek quite frankly looked baffled, which could be mistaken for bashfulness if you squint. He was mine, and mine alone, thought I wasn't quite his because I'm married but that's besides the point.

His skin glistened like fresh mold. He raised up a mighty bicep, and thundered down the hammer clenched in his powerful first.

"GUILTY!!!" He screeched.

The auditorium fell silent, as glares reached my petite frame.

Shrek stood up to declare my charges.

"Of stealing my heart"

The courtroom burst into applause except for one man. One vengeful, heartbroken man...