Between the Lines and Lies

Back To Diagon Alley

(Mrs. Weasley picks up a pot on the mantle.)

Mrs. Weasley: You first, Harry dear. (she offers Harry a flowerpot. At the bottom there is a thin layer of dust. Harry frowns in confusion.)

"Ooh!" James exclaims. "That was your first time flooing, wasn't it?"

Harry nods. "I don't like it much, though."

James stares at his son as if his favourite pet fish had just been cruely murdered.

Ron: But Harry's never travelled by Floo Powder, Mum.

Emma: Neither have I... whatever Floo Poweder is.

Harry: Yeah, um, what's Floo Powder?

(His question is ignored, because the author can't think of a credible explanation of it. Sorry, Fourth Wall.)

Mrs. Weasley: Oh, well, you go first, Ron. So that Harry and Emma can see how it's done. Yes. In you go. That's it.

Ron: Diagon Alley! (Ron throws down the Floo Powder and disappears in a burst of green flames)

Emma: Woah. So the muggles haven't been exactly wrong. 

Mrs. Weasley: You see? It's quite easy, Harry. Don't be afraid. Come on. Come on. In you go. That's it. Mind your head. That's right. Now, take your Floo powder. That's it, very good. Now, don't forget to speak very, very clearly.

Harry: Diagonally.

(Harry disappears, and Emma bursts into laughter at what her brother has said.)

Mrs. Weasley: What did he say, dear?

Emma: "Diagonally". It's, like, some sort of geometrical term or something. I was never good at maths, but I think it's something like that. 

Mrs. Weasley: Hmm. I thought he said that.

(Harry lands violently in Borgin and Burkes, breaking his glasses. He is surrounded by strange and sinister objects, and he looks at them curiously. When he touches a disembodied hand, it suddenly grabs him, but he manages to free himself. Leaving Borgin and Burkes, Harry steps out into Knockturn Alley. He looks around nervously at the dark and dreary place. Suddenly, a creepy witch jumps out at him.)

"YOU GOT TO GO TO KNOCKTURN ALLEY?!" James explodes. "My mum never let me go!"

Remus whacks his head with a book. "He didn't get to go there, he mispronounced Diagon Alley and ended up there!"

Creepy witch: Not lost, are you, my dear?

Harry: (trying to back away) I'm fine, thank you. I was just...

(Several equally creepy people are walking up to surround Harry.)

Creepy witch: Come with us. We'll help you find your way back.

Harry: No, please!

Hagrid: Harry?

(The crowd parts, revealing Hagrid.)

Harry: Hagrid!

Hagrid: What d'you think you're doing down here? Come on! (Harry runs to Hagrid, and they leave the area together.) You're a mess, Harry. Skulking around Knockturn Alley? Dodgy place. Don't want no one to see you there. People'll think you up to no good.

(By now, Hagrid has led Harry into Diagon Alley, which is located nearby.)

Harry: I was lost, I - hang on, what were you doing down there then?