Healing Hearts: A Second Chance Romance. Book1 of The Willowbrook Series

Chapter 52

Sage

Great, so now because of letting myself go a little last night, the wine and softening towards Logan, I have to go through my folk's front door and do the walk of shame. Fanfuckingtastic. Inhaling deeply, I slide my key into the front door.

Perhaps I can sneak off to my room and get showered quickly before heading back out to Bluebell's for a coffee and meet up with Hazel. We organized to meet, and I am looking forward to seeing her again after so long. Honestly, I feel totally crap as a best friend since I hardly ever get to see her when I've been back for visits.

"Is that you, Sage?" I hear mom's voice coming from the kitchen. Shit.

"Yeah, it's only me, Mom. Going up to my room to get showered and changed." I head for the stairs and nope, she is out in front of me quicker than Bolt off the starting blocks. Is she on some kind of uppers today only that was pretty quick?

"Not so fast young lady. Did you stay out all night?" She has upturned lips, and her eyes are scrutinizing me. I feel as if I'm back to being fifteen again. I shift uncomfortably just wanting to run up to my room. I know my messy bun on top my head is about to fall out, and I am still wearing the clothes I went out to dinner in last night.

"Er, yes." I go to place my hand on the handrail but mom's hand clasps over mine.

"Did you have a lovely time? Were you with Logan? Oh, gosh I am so happy. Finally. At last." Mom looks like the cat who just got the cream, seriously her face is lit up like Christmas.

"Mom, pleeease. Yes, to Logan. I'm not getting back with him or serious with him so you can forget about the whole white wedding business in the local chapel and inviting all your friends round." I huff.

"We'll see, Honey. I know that Logan and the way he looks at you still after all these years. He won't give up."

"That as it may be, Mom but you're forgetting a little detail here. I'm leaving soon."

"Oh, Honey. You say that now, but you'll change your mind once you realize that the love, he has for you and you have for him, that only happens once in a lifetime. You know that. Don't pass it up again, sweetheart. Not for work. When you can't work anymore one day or retire, you won't have anything else. Love is everything when it's the love of your life." Speech of speeches, right?

"Mom, my medical career is important to me. I want a fellowship and that's not happening here in Willowbrook, damn it." She is still smiling, that mom knows best look. She's very good at it and yes, I do still feel like a child standing here in front of her trying to escape up the stairs.

"Is that going to give you children and a community, Sage? Is it going to keep you warm at night, hug you when you're down and miserable, not to mention lonely in a big bed with no one by your side? Will it look into your eyes over a candlelit meal? Will it laugh with you at the funny things, be silent and watch a movie with you and just be there next to you whenever you need someone?"

"Mom, please stop." I run up the stairs and into my bedroom, closing the door behind me, resting my back against it. Tears sliding down my face. Jeez, all the emotions raging inside me are too much.

Everything my mom says is true, what will a fellowship give me? Logan has spoilt me for any other man out there. Having spent the night with him again, having been lifted to heights I'd forgotten, the way our hearts beat together, the tender kisses on my lips and neck, his strong hands roaming across my body and down to my core. I know he is the only man I want to be with.

It's like a rush through my body knowing that even with Miles, it wasn't a hundred percent right, it would have run its course in time, I have come to realize this now. Miles and his fellowship in London just came earlier than our natural expiration date.

I exhale, wow this is all way too much for me. I have a girlfriend date to get too. But last night has left me questioning so much right now. For a start my folks would be over the moon for me to stay, I could be with Logan, the man I have loved since I was a teenager, the same man I've been friends with since we were kids. Can I imagine myself working in the practice forever though? Will it be enough for my career aspirations, dealing with just the town folk? Gosh, I just don't know. I don't know.

I wipe my eyes with the back of my right hand and go to the en-suite and start running the shower water as I strip my attire off and step inside under the warm running water.

My head feels like it is spinning off my shoulders, I wish I had a fairy Godmother right now who could wave her magic wand and show me the way. The last thing I want to do is make a decision I could end up regretting.

If I stayed but felt unsatisfied with working at the practice, I could risk becoming bitter and frustrated, then take it out on Logan. Worse still, I could end up leaving after time. I shudder, that would rip Logan apart, it would destroy him, and he doesn't deserve that. He deserves all of me. Or I could love it here, love being there for the people of Willowbrook and Copper town, enjoy the festivals, the community, the knowledge that everyone has got each other's backs.

I rinse the shower gel off and reach for one of the fluffy white towels and dry myself off, tie it round me and go into the bedroom to my wardrobe where I pull out a pair of black jeans, a white tee, and a navy cardigan. It takes me about five minutes to get dressed, pull my hair into a ponytail, apply a dusting of bronzer, lipstick, and mascara. There I consider myself ready to meet my bestie.

She'll sort me out, she's always been brilliant at putting my life into perspective.