Daddy's Little Secret

8- More Than... What?

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After a few weeks of Tankhun getting someone he can share his sorrows with, Porchay comes to meet with him again.

Porchay entered without knocking into tankhun's room as he always does.

"Suadee khab P'Khun.."

"Oh.. Nong Chay.. suadee.. come in.." Tankhun who was working on his laptop smiled widely seeing the younger.

"What are you doing? I haven't seen you for a few days." Chay asked as he's still worried about Tan's condition after that night.

"Well.. I was.. kinda busy.." Tan muttered as he remembered the last encounter with this little one. He cried so yeah he's feeling a bit.. constrained.

"You don't spend much time with me lately!" Chay pouts with his squashy cheeks.

Tan pinched the red blushed cheek softly as he couldn't help smiling.

"I guess I need to do that more often to see this cutie face!"

"P'Khun! I'm angry!"

Tan smiles again at the innocent.

"Fine.. I know what can help this pouty Nong.. hmm.. ice cream?"

Chay's eyes lit up as a 5 year old child.

"Yes!"

Tan called the butler to bring ice cream to his chamber.

Chay started enjoying his ice cream. Tan's eyes locked at the younger eating like a baby.

Chay stopped as soon as he realized he was here to talk out everything from the elder to make him feel at ease.

"What's wrong, Nong?"

"P'Khun.. are you.. ok? I mean.. you cried.. don't hurt yourself anymore.. you can tell me! I'll try my best to be a good listener! Even though I don't know if you would like to share.. am I being too interrupted in your personal life? I'm sorry for that.. but please.. don't hurt yourself anymore. You have your family.. brothers, friends.. all need you.. I need you.." Chay muttered the last one softly but loud enough for the other to hear, head's down, waiting for the elder's reply.

For the very first time chay's words affected him deeply.

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Tan's POV _

I don't know how to reply to his words.

Does he care about me that much?!

Does he really need a person like me?!

"Nong Chay.. is growing up! Hehe.." I tried to suppress the awkwardness of the incident.

He's indeed growing up. Trying to feel emotions deeply but can't express.

"P'Khun.. you.."

"I'm ok.. you know it's quite hard to erase everything at once.. still I'm.. trying.. thanks for.. everything."

"I'm here.. I want you to be happy.." Chay pulled my hands between his palms.

I don't know what I'm feeling right now still this ease the atmosphere as well as me.

I never had anyone to listen to me. I feel like I can express myself to him.

I sighed.

"I know.. thanks.."

He smiled. His thumb is circling over my back of hands. I can tell from his sparkling eyes that he's eagerly waiting for me to tell.

Should I?

But I want to rely on him, want to express myself and want him to listen to me.

"Chay.. I don't know.. how to start.."

"Don't be hard on yourself.. just tell me your love story.. I want to know everything about you.. "

"Her name.. was Georgia.." I smiled as her name came out of my lips.

"She must have been very beautiful.."

"Yeah.. she.. was.. "

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Chay's POV _

He smiled genuinely but his eyes are already glistening with the tears of sadness and guilt.

This is an enthralled view I ever witnessed. He's looking.. glamorous! I lost words to explain.

I touched his face. My heart is racing. I can't believe I'm being brave enough to do this.

"I can tell.. she loved you so much.."

I don't know why my heart felt heavy.

"Hmm... We met.. at our uni... In freshman year. She was a very good friend. We hangout, talked a lot in random.. time passes I realized that we fell in love.. I introduced her with Pa and uncle.. I planned everything.. for our future... But.."

He paused. His breathing is getting heavy.

"... Everything is my fault.. if I wasn't reckless.. I.. I wouldn't have lost.."

He gripped my hand tight. He's trying his best to suppress his tears.

I placed our foreheads together, holding his teary face between my palms.

"Nothing is your fault P'Khun.. it was.. just.. God's willing.. don't blame yourself.. you love her.. you always wanted better.. it's not your fault.. please don't cry.."

"I.. I don't know what to do.. I can't get over.. I just want to die –"

"P'KHUN!! STOP!! For God's sake don't say something like this.. please.."

I felt my heart skipped as soon as I heard his words.

I can tell I'm crying as well. I don't wanna lose him! I don't..

"P'Khun.. you're important to me. An important person in my life. I only can count a few people around me.. my Hia.. Macau.. & .. You.. you always took care of me as a parent when Hia is not around. I'm thankful for everything.. now.. let me.. take care of you.. please.."

His eyes are blazing. I kissed his forehead for the first time as he always used to do the same to me.

I know he's been always strong but today I'm seeing his most fragile part. A part he never showed.

I don't know what I'm feeling.. what is he for me? A brother? A friend?

No.. he's not just a brother or friend.. then he's.. more than.. what?

I can't decide. All I want to take care of him with my heart.

He pulled me into a tight hug. I can hear our heartbeats between the silence. But it's peaceful.

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A/N: sorry for late update. I just stuck at the writer's block. So it's late to update.

Hope you guys are enjoying it.

Sorry for mistakes.