oneshots for sf9!! started: december 23rd, 2023. finished: january 14th, 2024.. includes: fluff, angst, all sfw!! member x reader. proper spelling and grammar. [this is pure fiction and does not represent the real members or their personalities] 🧡
╔══════════════════╗ KIM YOUNGKYUN ✎ iv. airbag can't save us ╚══════════════════╝
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"You've changed, Youngkyun." You mutter tensely. Youngkyun always has the aircon set 2 degrees too cold in his car, and a shiver runs up your spine. You always hated the cold, yet despite that, you had stupidly fallen for him. He's like a block of ice, yet no matter how much you tried to melt him with your warm heart, he stayed chilly.
Youngkyun grips the steering wheel a bit tighter, flipping on the left turning signal and turning onto the highway. His foot pushes on the gas slightly as he matches the speed of the other cars on the highway. He still doesn't respond to you.
You let out a shaky sigh and look out your window, "Did you ever love me? Why did you ask me out a year ago if you never intended on paying attention to me in the first place?" You wait for a second, wondering if that would get him to utter even a word in reply— even just a hum that he had heard you.
But, no. He's always the same. Stuck up in his own world, self-obsessed and unfeeling. You wonder how his friends even put up with him? It's as if he had no thoughts or feelings. Even when you tried to discuss something that directly affected him, he didn't even care enough to listen.
"I don't even know why I agreed to date you. You're such an asshole." You tell him through gritted teeth, a bit louder this time. "I hope whatever poor girl you 'fall for' next drops your ass before you have the chance to brutally misuse her like you did with me."
Again, he stays silent, spiking your nerves just a bit above the limit. Your eyes sting with tears but you blink them back. You won't cry because of him. He doesn't even deserve that much. You hear him take a breath, and you turn to look at him, wondering if he'll finally say something back to you.
"If you had so many problems with me, then why did you decide to date me?"
You hate that response. You hate how calm he is when you're about to reach your breaking point. You hate that he doesn't have the decency to at least apologise to you before he spews more of his nonsense. It's like a stab straight through your chest. If he had ever loved you, even for a second, he would at least apologise for upsetting you before interrogating you.
"Oh, so it's my fault, is it?" You let out a laugh, and it's filled with disbelief at his actions. "It's my fault? I was holding our relationship together for months while you went out drinking and paid no attention to me! I always held out hope that one day you would treat me the same as when we first met. But since January I've never seen even a speck of feeling in your eyes. Is it amusing to see me try so hard!? Do you find joy in my struggles to get this relationship to work— only to inevitably fail cause it will never work out with just one of us trying?" You spew, letting all your built up frustration flow out, hitting him like bullets. You were sure he had already built a repelling force field around himself to block you out; one that would only make the bullets bounce back to hit you.
"You wasted your time trying to get it to work." He whispers.
"I wanna get off." You breathe out, feeling like the doors of the car were slowly closing in on you. It was suffocating being in the same cramped space with Youngkyun, where everything just brought up old memories.
The necklace that you had gifted to him was still hanging from the rearview mirror. He had never worn it. You realize in an instant that him hanging it there wasn't a compliment to you. He never wanted it in the first place.
"We're on the fucking highway, Y/n." He points out, as if you weren't capable of noticing that before.
"Just pull over and let me out here. I'll get a fucking taxi." You spit back angrily.
"Shit, you're so impatient. You can wait 5 minutes for me to reach this exit." He says angrily, somehow pushing your anger up even more. You let the first tears slip down your cheeks. You hate being around him in this way. You feel like he's slowly ripping you to shreds— limb by limb, leaving you broken beyond repair.
You do your best to stay silent and not let your muffled crying reach Youngkyun's ears. It would be too humiliating for you to bear. The 5 minutes it takes to reach the exit feels like 5 hours. Youngkyun pulls over to the side of the road, stepping on the break harshly. You jerk forward slightly, and wonder if he's doing it on purpose. You open your car door in a rush, trying to get out as soon as possible, but you feel him grip your wrist. You turn back around and stare at him, eyes burning to take in his features one last time.
"I'm not the only one who changed." He says slowly before letting go of your hand. The blaring honks of cars behind you is almost deafening, some of them trying to find a way to get past Youngkyun's black car blocking the road without causing an accident. You get out of the car and slam the door shut without another word to him.
It takes a second to register your reality. You stand still on the sidewalk for a few minutes, breathing in the crisp cold night air and letting the tears fall freely. You don't know how far away from home you are, but you know that you're not in any hurry to get back. You just soak in the moment. You were done with him— finally, you were free from him. You wanted to laugh, but it just came out as harsher sobs.
If he hadn't changed, would it have worked out?
If you hadn't changed, would it have worked out?
You stare up at the sky, sniffing your last tears away. It's dark and a mesmerising blue; it's beautiful. You wonder if Youngkyun was also looking at the night, contemplating how cruel it had been to both of you. Though, with a scoff you realize that he wouldn't care. This would all pass by for him like it was nothing, because it had already been too long to recall the last time he had cared for you.
