Same Difference [A Queer Nigerian Experience]

11 | PHONING HIM

Nobody was allowed to leave the room, because everyone was a suspect; the guys seemed sketchy, making it tough to figure out who took my phone. I couldn't wrap my head around why someone would steal my Android phone. Thoughts raced through my mind as the reality of being phoneless sank in. I didn't want to accept any of it; I clung to the hope that Ossai was just playing a bad prank and would return my phone soon. But, Ossai didn't appear to be joking. He tried explaining himself, but I tuned him out. I wished I could block my nose too because he reeked of weed. I avoided making eye contact, looking everywhere but to my right where he stood.

Maxwell gave up trying to reach my line; instead, he turned to his roommate, who was casually puffing smoke on the bunk bed, indifferent to the situation. "Kunle, how far, make I search you." Maxwell said. I had my suspicions about Kunle as well, but I hesitated to confront him. Kunle grinned with a somewhat wicked smile, putting his cigarette on the table, standing up, and extending his arms sideways. Maxwell patted him down and came up with nothing, before searching the area around Kunle. I still wasn't sure if Kunle was in the clear, but Maxwell let him go.

Madrid walked into the room casually, and everyone's attention shifted to him. He seemed puzzled about what was going on, but Maxwell didn't offer any explanation. Maxwell asked if he could search Madrid, and before anything, Madrid, looking confused, allowed Maxwell to pat him down. As Maxwell reached Madrid's thigh area, Madrid cheekily remarked, "No touch my prick, oh." Without hesitation, Maxwell grabbed him by the collar, forcefully pushing him against the bunk, causing it to tilt. He seemed ready to strike Madrid, but Madrid's laughter instead of retaliation made him hesitate. Ossai and I stepped in, pulling Maxwell away from Madrid.

Ossai repositioned the bunk, questioning Madrid, "What's is wrong with you na, Madrid?" Madrid just grinned, fixing his collar. I kept my eyes on him, convinced he had a hand in this, even though he wasn't in the room when I arrived. There was a reason he was peeking at me and Maxwell. Madrid never glanced my way; he was focused on Maxwell, who was checking the visitors. When Maxwell wanted to search the last person, the visitor opposed, asking, "Why you go dey search me like say I be thief?" He pulled away from Maxwell.

Maxwell maintained his composure, "You no see when I search everybody for here?"

"Abeg no search me, na smoke I con smoke, I no thief" The visitor defended himself.

"Guy nobody dey call you thief, dem just one search you." Ossai tried to intervene.

"Help me tell am o" Maxwell echoed.

"No search me na my own" He continued.

"Guy, no vex me abeg; I dey vex seriously as I dey here," Maxwell's voice grew louder. Anxiety gripped me; I didn't appreciate all this chaos because of me. I couldn't prevent the imminent fight that seemed inevitable. Madrid kept smiling, and Kunle continued smoking. The guy noticed Maxwell's anger and shifted focus, suggesting that Maxwell hadn't searched Ossai, implying he could be the culprit since no one would suspect him. Suddenly, I found myself suspecting my cousin.

To convince the hesitant guy, Maxwell confidently approached Ossai, swiftly patting him down to demonstrate he had nothing on him. Maxwell emphasized that the vistor's reluctance to be searched only made him appear more suspicious. He eventually submitted to the search, and nothing incriminating was found. This concluded the search, yet I held onto a glimmer of hope.

I had the urge to completely ransack the place because I wasn't content, but I thought it might be excessive, considering I had already stirred up a lot of tension. I felt if I didn't try to search, I wouldn't forgive myself. Without saying a word, I pushed Investor's old mattress up to inspect underneath. When Maxwell saw me doing it, he joined in. Ossai, noticing both of us still searching, quickly sought a place to search. The remaining guys stood and watched, while the hesitant one left.