Same Difference [A Queer Nigerian Experience]

21 | THE HOMOPHOBIC AGENDA

The one place I expected to feel safe had now been compromised by Madrid. Maxwell never mentioned that Madrid was studying anatomy, or I would’ve been more cautious at school. It was unsettling that not only was he writing the same paper as me, but he was also seated right next to me. I wanted to leave, but I didn’t think I had the opportunity—the hall was filling up quickly, and there was no easy way to slip out.

I hated having Madrid next to me, but at least Kennedy's papers were right behind me—until he showed up, didn’t like the arrangement, and decided to swap his papers with someone else's when the invigilators weren’t looking, moving to a different row. He just messed up our setup without offering an explanation for doing so. Although he was now diagonally behind me, rather than directly, I was still anxious. To make matters worse, the person who ended up in his seat didn’t seem too sharp, so I knew I was in trouble.

Many students had already taken their respective seats, but there were still empty spaces in the hall, and I noticed that neither Sewa nor Eseosa had arrived. I was concerned about the delay, as I had expected them to be among the first to arrive, despite living farther from campus than I did. Their absence was puzzling, and I wondered what could be causing the holdup.

Before we were told to begin, I went through my papers, and noticed the first question was compulsory—a complex chemistry question I couldn’t solve quickly, but I had an idea of how to approach it. As I flipped through the other pages, Madrid beside me asked, "You sabi am?" I nodded, focusing on the questions I was confident I could answer. I then looked over at Kennedy to see his reaction, but he wasn’t sneaking a look. Next, I discreetly counted the invigilators, totaling nine, mostly men, for an exam with approximately 200 students, and this bothered me.

When we were instructed to begin the exam, my surrounding area was still unmonitored, but I knew it was only a matter of time before an invigilator was assigned to supervise us. I needed  make the most of the opportunity, and I silently prayed that Sewa and Eseosa would be permitted to join us even after the exam had already started.

"Which number you dey write?" Madrid peeked at my work, which I had just begun. When I didn't respond right away, he complained "Ehis why you dey do like this na?"

I reluctantly replied, "Number 3" as I wanted to deny him the opportunity to copy my work by ignoring him. But, the fear that he knew I was gay and could use it against me compelled me to respond. The only way I could come out on top was if he got caught and removed for malpractice.

I continued with my exam, while Madrid remained idle, making no effort to answer any questions, fully relying on me. I had assumed someone retaking the exam would have an idea of what to write, but I was mistaken. He even anticipated my needs, passing me a calculator before I could ask for one, ensuring that I would be obliged to help him in return.

A bunch of latecomers entered the exam hall, and Sewa and Eseosa were among them. I felt relieved knowing they were let in, even though they couldn’t sit in their assigned seats. They were rearranged, which actually worked in their favor as they ended up sitting together in the front row. With the invigilators focused on the front, I took the opportunity to ask Kennedy some questions before I could get caught and penalized.

I sat up straight, holding my paper with both hands on the table, and stared at the invigilators while whispering "Kennedy" without looking in his direction. When I didn't receive a response, I subtly turned my head towards him and asked, "Do you know the answer to 3b?" He looked at me, hesitated, and I faced forward, assuming he couldn't respond because of an invigilator's presence. But, no one was paying attention to us. I asked again, slightly louder, without turning back, but still got no response. I turned back again, this time with a bit more urgency, prompting Kennedy to start answering. Just then, Madrid called out my name, irritating me as I was trying to get answers for myself, but he was actually alerting me to an invigilator approaching us.