YOᑌ ᗪOᑎ'T ᗩᒪᗯᗩYᔕ KᑎOᗯ ᒪOᐯE, ᗷᑌT ᒪOᐯE KᑎOᗯᔕ YOᑌ. | Cartters/Buttman | SOUTH PARK

[ 𝙻𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 ]

[ Cartman's POV ]

Today is the day! What day, you ask? Well, today is the day my Slenderman costume came in the mail! I've been planning to wear it for so long, probably about like 1,000 days! However long that is.

I specifically planned to prank my asshole friends with it and see the look on their faces! They've recently been ignoring me and making me sit alone at lunch. Every time I'd tried to sit next to them, they'd tell me off for it and shoo me away.
I don't know why they're so butthurt over everything. All I did was prank them by putting a tad bit of hand sanitizer in their drinks, what's it gonna do, fuckin' kill em?

But anyway, with my brand new kewl Slenderman costume, I'm gonna be making people piss their pants from how freakin' scary I look! I immediately slip on a t-shirt with text that says "Jews" and a red cross over it, slip on my red coat and brown pants, my yellow gloves and my classic hat, and I rush out of my room. As I raced down the stairs, I didn't even take the time to consider stopping by the kitchen to have some breakfast. My mind was set on that costume. My mom was in the kitchen making something, I could hear the sound of sizzling. I rushed over to her.

" Good morning, Eric! Do you want to have some breakfast- "

I interrupted her. " MEEM! Has my costume gotten here yet?! " I said, frantically looking around if maybe a box containing it was sitting around somewhere. " Oh, I'm not sure, Eric. Don't you want to have some breakfast? I'm cooking up some bacon. " She said, turning her attention back to the pan containing some bacon. Most of the time, I'd be down to have some bacon, but I really feel like this costume is more important right now. The sweet, pitful faces of my friends when I scare them would be kewl. " No, goddamnit! I want to know if my costume is here! " I yelled, searching around the kitchen. I couldn't find anything, so I headed to the living room.

I checked everywhere, but couldn't find it. I opened drawers, checked behind cushions, checked behind the TV, behind the picture... Nothing. " Ughh... where the hell did you hide it, skank?! It said it was coming today! " I whipped my head around to look at her, but she wasn't looking at me. " Eric, I assure you I didn't hide it anywhere. Maybe it just didn't come yet? " She calmly replied. Her tone pissed me off, It said it'd come early on Saturday, and it is early. On Saturday. She must be trying to sabotage my goddamn plans! I stormed upstairs and into her room, and I saw a box sitting on a shelf.

" Ahah! "

I exclaim in satisfaction, and I grab it. I immediately start ripping the box open, but then what I saw wasss... nottt my costume? It was purple and long. " The hell is this shit? " I look at it for a moment, it looks like a damn penis. Why does she want a fuckin' toy penis? That's weird. I just toss it to the side and I find handcuffs in the box aswell. My eyes light up at the handcuffs, and I grab them. These would be perfect for pranking my friends! I just put them on them when they're unaware, and they're totally helpless. I smiled and I stuffed them in my pocket, but I still need to find my goddamn costume.

I look around her room and just find weird stuff, no costume to be found. I run out but then I see my mom standing before me as I'm about to exit. " What were you doing in my room?! " She questioned, a bit shocked. I just shoved her to the side, and ran outside. As I raced out into the snowy atmosphere of South Park, a cold breeze hit my face. I shivered, but I was pretty used to the weather by now. I made it to my mailbox, a bit out of breath, running in the cold is never a smart decision. I bent over a bit, my hands on my knees and my head down as I tried to catch my breath.

I looked up after a few seconds, but then I see a figure walking to my mailbox and about to open it. I take a minute process who it is. . .

Wait, Butters?!

I run over and slapped his hand away from the mailbox angrily. " Butters, you fucking snake! Why are you trying to steal my mail?! " I growled at him, he just looked at me, suprised that I had approached him so suddenly. That suprised look, though, turned into a more joyful one. " Oh, heya Eric! I wasn't tryna still your mail, you sillygoose! " He replied, waving his hand dismissively, trying to calm the situation. " The hell do you want then? Don't touch my mailbox! " I said, holding my arm out infront of my mailbox. He's not the damn mailman, so I don't trust him touching it. " Oh! I just wanted to hand you some mail, but now it's easier since you're right here! "

He smiled and handed me a letter. I took a minute to study it, and I raised my head up to study him aswell. I raised an eyebrow at him. " Uhh, ookay? The hell is this? A love letter? " I said, just to get a reaction out of him, but something in me did really wonder what it was. He immediately shook his head, visibly embarrassed by my assumption. " Oh hamburgers! No, no it isn't! " He said quickly,
" It's an invite to a party I'm gonna be having tommorow! It's gonna be in the woods, it's to embrace the wildlife! Neat-o, huh? " He explained, smiling gleefully at me. I could tell he wanted me to come.

" Wait, you're having this in... the woods? " I said, waiting for a confirmation. He nodded. " Uhuh, the address is on it. I hope you come, it'll be fun with you there! " He replied happily. I smiled a bit at his attitude, but that wasn't the only reason I smiled. This is the perfect place to prank my friends if they're coming to this stupid party! I'll stay around late, and when it gets late, I'll go to the bathroom, dress up as Slenderman, set up all of those creepy drawings in the games on trees, and scare the living shit out of them. It's gonna be sweet.

" Sweet. I'll come. "