ꜱʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ _ ᴇɴʜʏᴘᴇɴ 8ᴛʜ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ

= drowning =

⚠️ TW: SUICIDE ATTEMPT, TALK ABOUT SUICIDE AND
OTHER MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES ⚠️

Sometimes, Lily feel that she's being selfish if she ever take a day off whenever she's not doing well mentally. In her honest opinion, everyone has something going on in their lives that they don't talk out loud so she shouldn't feel like the world is ending every time her depressive episode decided to come back. She just can't help but feeling guilty for having depression so she tried her best to mask it all.

Even in front of the members, she pretended to be strong. Now, it's been four months since she ever showed the guys her true condition. To them, she looked normal, happier, they would say. She smiles and laugh a lot now and they're happy for her too, not knowing whenever she's alone, she would blame herself for being depressed. But whenever she's around others, she would force herself to become the best version of herself that everyone loves.

The only thing that keep her acting like that is because there will always be a small voice inside her head that says, "show that you're happy. No one will love you if you're broken in the inside. Fix yourself."

For the first few months, it was bearable but after a while, Lily grew tired of everything and it affected her physical condition. She had lose a lot of weight and she bruised way easily compared to before. Her eyes no longer held the sparkles that was once there. Now, she's simply a living body with a dying soul. She refuses to go out on her days off, preferring to just stay in and cry to her heart content.

One day, she finally had enough of everything. After the members had left to get lunch, she made sure to get things done once and for all. She placed everything she'll leave behind in a box, including the eight rings she bought and placed it on her bed. Her eyes are blood red from the constant crying but it seems like she has no plan of stopping. To get to this point where she loses to the voices in her head is a long process. It took her weeks for her to make this decision.

Even now, she's still hesitant about her decision. This will be the end and this will end her pain but is this really what she wants?

Before she could change her mind, she gets into the bathtub that is filled with water to the brim and drown herself. It took everything in her to not get back up as she could feel her lungs screaming at her for some air but after a few minutes, she lose her consciousness and her hands fell limp by her sides.

The guys had unexpectedly came back earlier than they were supposed to and it surprised them how quiet it is. Usually, Lily would be at the door to greet them with her big smile even though they literally lived together and met each other in the morning. Still, it was odd because it was very quiet in the house. "Princess?" Sunghoon called out with a huge smile. He brought her favorite pastry for her from the cafe she loves and he can't wait to let her have them.

"I think she might be sleeping," suspected Jake who's now sitting on the couch as he held the remote control to the television, ready to enjoy the drama he has been waiting for. Jay opened the door to her room and he immediately frowned, "she's not here though. Did she say that she was going anywhere today?"

He closes the door and went to the bathroom to do some business when he realized that it was locked. "It's locked?" He knocked on the door a few times. "Peach? Are you in there?" No answer.

Jay leaned his ear to the door and he could hear the sound of the water running so he thought that Lily was taking a shower. Although it was weird that she said nothing. "Lily is in the bathroom. Showering, I guess?" He forgo his intention to go into the bathroom and head back into his room to change his clothes into something more comfortable. This situation goes on for about 3 minutes and when Sunoo feels like Lily is taking too long in the bathroom, he began to feel uneasy.

Sunoo knocked on the door repeatedly. "Sunshine? Are you okay in there? If you are, let me know. Make any noise, will you?" Still no answer. This caused the others to start gathering around the door. Jungwon rushed to get the extra key for the bathroom just in case. "You've got to say something, sunshine." They're all getting pretty anxious now. "I'll count to three. If you say nothing, I'll go in there myself, Lily."

There are still no answer, not even any noise except for the water.

"One."

"Two."

"Three." Jungwon unlocked the door and was shocked to see the state Lily is in. Her face is turning blue and she's not moving at all. "Hyung, call the ambulance now!" Ni-Ki rushed inside and picked Lily up and out from the bathtub. He laid her down on the bathroom floor and began CPR on her, pushing out the water filling up her insides. Sunghoon rushed to call the ambulance while the others panicked, not knowing what to do.

Heeseung held her cold hand. "Her hands and feet are cold to the touch," he looked up at Ni-Ki after checking her pulse. The maknae shook his head desperately. "No. You can't go, nuna! No!" He began to do a mouth to mouth CPR in a poor attempt to resuscitate her but it seems to be doing nothing and the maknae is slowly losing his mind. "Why did you do this to yourself, nuna?" He cried out.

After a while, Ni-Ki stops. He doesn't know what to do anymore because Lily is unresponsive to everything he did. He just hold her limp body against him tightly, hoping by some miracle, she would open her eyes again.

To be continued in part 2.