ꜱʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ _ ᴇɴʜʏᴘᴇɴ 8ᴛʜ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ

= drowning pt. 2 =

ps: I was ready to go to sleep but you guys were super mad at me for leaving you guys hanging with the cliffhanger so here I am again. Hope you guys enjoy this hehe.

Ni-Ki sat on the floor of the room Lily is warded in with tired eyes. He has been crying nonstop since the evening and it's now midnight. "Ni-Ki, why don't you go inside hmm?" Asked Heeseung who patted his shoulder gently. The maknae is having a hard time processing everything that just happened. It was all too much in such a short time. Ni-Ki got up and went inside the room.

Sunoo and Sunghoon are sleeping on the couch while Jay and Jake are holding Lily's hands. These hands were cold not too long ago and they're glad it's warm again. Jake's head shot up to make an eye contact with Ni-Ki. "Here. Hold her hand. Keep them warm, okay? I need to go get some coffee. I'll come back later." The elder stood up and pursed his lips into a thin straight line before squeezing Ni-Ki's shoulder for some support before leaving the room.

With heavy feet, Ni-Ki dragged his body and went to sit on the chair that Jake previously sat on. He stares at Lily's hand that lays limply by her side. Those hands were cold and unfamiliar back then. It was honestly so scary. To think that he almost lose one of the person he loves most. Ni-Ki took her hand in his shaky ones and placed it next to his cheek to warm them up. Once again, tears started falling down his cheeks.

He couldn't say anything as he let the tears speak on his behalf. The image of Lily on the floor, unconscious and barely alive, scars his mind. He thought that Lily was doing better. She was smiling a lot more, she laughed a lot too. And she never cried anymore. So why? Why did she do it?

Ni-Ki truly wants an answer to his question but he knows that he won't be able to ask it out to Lily because he'll burst into tears before he could even speak. To think that Lily was so determined in ending things was such a scary thing to think.

The maknae closes his eyes as he waits for Lily to finally wakes up. Soon enough, morning came and Ni-Ki could feel someone staring at her so he lifted his head up. That's when he sees Lily staring down at him. Instead of feeling relieved, the girl looked like she had just lost all her strength to live. The sparkles that was once filling her eyes due to the spirit of life is now dull and gloomy. Ni-Ki almost couldn't recognize Lily.

It was silent for a while, until Lily speaks up. "I'm sorry for troubling you guys again."

"Why did you do it?" Lily goes quiet upon being asked. The maknae clenches his fists tightly into a ball that his skins started turning white. He might be crossing the line asking that out loud but he needs to know. Lily sigh, "I don't want to do this anymore. Nothing makes sense to me. I went to therapy over and over again but I never seem to get better. I was practically incurable, Riki. It's a repeating cycle. I went to therapy and the next day I fell back into the dark place I tried so hard escaping. It's all a waste of time. I'm a waste of time. Can't you see it?"

Lily had tears running down her cheeks. She was already in a better state when she died for a while back then. She was happier and there was absolutely no need to think about anything else. Ni-Ki had to hold himself back from crying even more. He himself had been there before. The place where all hope seems to cease.

"Rather than going back to that depressive state over and over again and ruining what could have been good for others, I would choose to just disappear from their life. There's no curing me anymore, Riki," she sobbed desperately, "I'm beyond fixing. I can't be fixed. Not anymore."

Ni-Ki suddenly got up from his seat and Lily was ready for him to scold her for being so selfish. But instead of scolding her, he went in for a hug which shocked Lily. A shaky hand went to pat her back gently. As selfish it was for Lily to do that, Ni-Ki couldn't even blame her if he wanted to. She just wanted to be free and happy. That was not a crime to be just that. He knows that she just wanted to be herself again. The one who won't fall back into the dark place so often that she forgets what it's like to be out in the light.

Upon being hugged, all hell breaks loose. She sobbed loudly, finally had someone to hold her as she does that. Her hands went up to wrap itself around Ni-Ki and her fingers gripped onto his shirt desperately. Now that she sees it, dying is a scary thing. Maybe she never wanted to die, she just wanted to be normal again. By normal, not having to be depressed anymore. That's all she wants. Ni-Ki sniffled, "please don't do that again, nuna. I don't want to lose you again."

He cups her face in his palms after pulling away from the hug. "You don't have to be okay if you're not okay but don't do this again, please. Everytime you feel like doing this, come to me. I might not make you heal completely but I can be there for you so that you won't have to go through it alone. You don't have to be alone in this, nuna. I'll be there for you whenever so I beg of you, don't do this anymore, hmm?"

Lily couldn't promise him that easily but Ni-Ki seems genuinely sincere about it so she had to nod her head. "I'll try." And that's good enough for Ni-Ki when he heard it. Of course, it won't be easy for Lily to agree right away because people changes and there's no guarantee how long he will truly stick to his words but he is genuine about everything he said. He will be there for Lily when she need him because in all honesty, she had always been there for him. Everytime.

It's only fair he does the same to her. Because he loves her too much to bear the thought of losing her. Unless he did everything he could to make her stay, he will blame himself if anything ever happens to Lily again. So, he wished that Lily would find him whenever she needs because he will always be there for her.

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