Short stories :)

Lonley

Warnings: Mentions of death(not who you think), mental struggles, drinking, smoking, language,
Btw I don't know how the boys act in personal situations like this, Julien acts like this just for the *fictional* story!
This one's longer!

"One is the loneliest number, and you're one."
I sit up in my bed, running my shaky hands over my face. My phone blows up with tags of videos of the boys on tour. This sucks.
JULIEN
The boys and I are surprising my girl today by coming home earlier than we told her. She has no idea and I'm so excited.
YOU
I'm spiraling again, and I will never hit the ground. (Heatwave reference- song by Julien:)) My dog looks at me in concern when I stare at the wall from the couch. I'm making money by writing sad songs and just waiting for feedback. It sucks. I have a week to clean myself up before Julien comes back. It's just been so lonely. My friends have checked on me but I just can't. I stumble to the kitchen, I try to make a bowl of ramen but it just comes out tasting gross.
My therapist calls, giving me a face of pity as she sees the state I'm in. The day seems to fog together. My phone rings with my ears. I decide to clean the house a little, hiding certain things Julien would be upset with if she saw. Just empty bottles but still. It's around 6 now, daylight savings making it dark as midnight outside. I fiddle with the zipper on my hoodie as I try to strip out of my clothes to shower. Stumbling into the burning water. I turn on the saddest thing I can't think of; Sprained Ankle an album by who you may ask? My girlfriend who thinks I'm completely fine. I know how excited she is to see me so I have to put my acting mask back on. I hear my dog barking at something but I don't pay any mind to it. I put on clothes, leave the shower, and keep the door open while the album is still playing. I have my back turned to the front door as I grab a water bottle out of the fridge.
JULIEN
I arrive at her house, the boys and I all walk up to the door. I turn my key in and walk in to hear my first album playing and my slumped over girlfriend grabbing a water out of the fridge. Our Great Dane barks at me as she yells shut up to her. She doesn't even notice we're here, she didn't answer my calls but I figured she was just napping. She groans and runs her hand through her hair as someone calls her.
"Yo." She says answering the phone.
"What did I tell you about walking out on photo shoots?" Her "temporary manager" yells while her normal one is on break.
"Well if the photographer told you to suck in I think this would be a whole new thing." She says. I ponder on if I should say anything or just go back to the car and let her do her thing. I look around the house trying to take notice of anything different. Then I see it. A very small little glass bottle of whiskey. Shit. She promised she would tell me if it ever got bad again.
YOU
I bicker with my "temporary manager replacement" until the conversation finally ends. I feel horrible. But I also just don't feel anything. I start mumbling incoherent words as I walk back to the bathroom. I connect my speaker again and continue to play Sprained Ankle. My dog lays her head on my lap after I slide down the bathroom door. Feeling defeated as I put my head back on the door. "Your mom's not gonna be very happy with me when she comes back hm?" I say, pretending like my dog will actually answer me.
JULIEN
My first album comes back on when I hear "your mom's not gonna be very happy with me when she comes back hm?" Does she think I'll be mad at her? I wonder if I should say anything or pretend to open the door again. I go with my second plan. I swiftly move back to the door and open loud enough there's a creak, hoping she'll hear the boys and I pretend to walk in again.
YOU
I'm humming along to Everybody Does as I hear the door open. I shoot up and make sure I don't look too bad, the only person who would see right through me was Julien.
"Hello?" I say as I'm hit with silence. My eyebrows furrowed together as I poked my head out of the bathroom to see the boys. Wait, what the fuck?! Julien looks at me with concern when I slowly step out to them. "Uh... how long have you guys been here?" I say with a small laugh. "Long enough." Julien says. Fuck. I nod as she starts to speak again. "I've been calling you all day. I figured you would be happy to see me." She says. "I am happy to see you, my phone died before and you know how I always have it on do not disturb." I say giving her a small smile as Phoebe and Lucy hug me. She doesn't though. That. That was a punch in the face. I go to get my dog's food, trying to act busy. "So that's it?" She says. "What?" I say, confused to what she's getting at. "That's all you're gonna say?" She spits. "Julien maybe-'' Lucy tries to start to speak but Julien cuts her off. "What's been going on with you? You ignore my calls, you realease all these sad fucking songs, and your drinking again?" My eyes go wide as I scoff. "Thanks." I say bluntly. I hate when Julien gets mad it makes me feel like a little kid again. I run a hand through my hair as I grab my water bottle from the bathroom and come back. "You really don't care that you're doing this to yourself again?" She says. "What is your problem right now? Did I ever get mad at you when you were going through it? When I had to break down a door to get to you? Hm?" I say, already exhausted with this conversation. I pick up the small bottle of whiskey from under the couch and throw it away. "Julien, she has a point. Are you okay?" Phoebe says the last part directed to me. I try to mask but fail miserably. "Yea I'm fine." I say as I put my dogs food and water down.
...
Julien and I went back and forth and now we're yelling. "I wanted to surprise you! But then you don't even notice I walk into the door?!" She says. I have nothing to say. I don't know what to say. "You promised that if it would ever get bad again, you would tell me." She says. "Well I'm sorry I didn't wanna upset you! Is that what you wanna hear?! I don't understand what happened, are you drinking again? Or are you just tired because you are never this cruel." I say. "Cruel?! You want me to be cruel? Okay. This is pathetic! You know you have help and you don't get it!" She spits. Her words stung. I freeze and just look at her. I tell my dog to go to bed as I lock her up. I grab my keys and leave the house without another word. She doesn't even try to stop me.
JULIEN
"Julien..." Phoebe says. "That wasn't right." She continues. It's been half an hour since anyone said anything when Lucy finally speaks after Phoebe. "Woah did you guys see this?" She puts her phone down so we can both see it. It's an article and I read the title. "Man beat to death at *your name*s concert." I continue to read when I see. "The singer has not spoken about this incident too much just yet but has stated that she has been doing not great mentally and this just made it worse. She says that she is infuriated that they would go to such measures as to kill someone at her own show. She gives all her love to his family." (Halloween- Phoebe B reference :))
"Oh my god" I say.
"You need to go find her. Now." Phoebe says looking right into my eyes. I stagger out of my seat and grab my keys.
"I- I don't even know where I would find her- I-." I stutter out, starting to spiral as waves of guilt slam into me.
"Just go find her. Apologize." Lucy says sternly.
YOU
I drive anywhere I can, trying to drive until I'm not angry anymore. I park my car in some random parking lot with a shit ton of cars so I'm not spotted. I crack my tinted window and light a cigarette. I really hope she doesn't see that article. They killed a fan down by the stadium, was only visiting, they beat him to death. Runs over and over in my head, what was once a spiral has turned into 15 spirals all in one. I need to cry and scream but that would be horrible if anyone heard me screaming. I open the articles upon articles. "Fan of *your name* dies from stadium security." "Why hasn't she said anything?" "Does she not care that he died?" "What is wrong with her?" "The singer is yet to speak about this" "She gives all her love to his family." I hate this. I love being known but I also hate that I don't have privacy. My crew has been calling and calling me. I got a call from Phoebe and Lucy a few times. I play music in the car trying to get my mind off of everything.
JULEIN
I drive and drive and drive and I can't find her car or her anywhere, I check just about every bar and the bathrooms of those bars. I drove back to the house, panicked and stormed in.
"I can- I can't find her anywhere." I stutter out.
"Okay maybe we can have you call her, have you tried that?" Phoebe says.
"Yes I've tried it!" I exclaim. I start pacing around the house trying to look for anything to see where she might have gone. I found nothing. I rummage through her sketchbook to see if she said anything in there. I flipped to the most recent page; yesterday. It's a sketch of me. I sit on her bed and stare at it for a second. She's going to hate me. I ran back out to the kitchen to look for anything in there. I find absolutely nothing. Lucy gets a call on her phone. She mouths to me that it's her best friend wondering where she is. She put her on speaker as I heard her friend also driving. "Wait, maybe she went somewhere crowded to not get spotted?" Her friend says.
"I looked and checked almost every bar I could find." I say.
"I'm trying to think of where she could have gone." Her friend says.
YOU
I'm laying flat in my seat with my music on low. Dead. He's dead. Do I deserve to be dead? No. Julien would be so sad. They beat him to death. Why would they do that?! My whole career is ruined. Gone. My phone rings again and again. It's been about an hour since I left the house. I consider driving home but the embarrassment swallows me. I didn't notice the burning tears running down my face until one touched my lip. The salty sadness is taking over me. I groan as my phone rings, again. I slam my hand down on it, not even looking to see who it is. "What." I spit.
"Jesus dude! You have everyone worried sick right now." My best friend Zoe says.
ZOE
I storm into my best friend's house and the boys look at me concerned. I knew I had to get her talking as soon as she answered the phone. I put myself on mute.
"She answered me!" I say.
JULIEN
Holy shit she answered. I look at Phoebe and Lucy and they just nod. Zoe starts to speak to her again.
"Dude where the fuck are you?" She says. We get radio silence for a second until she speaks.
"Not important. Are you okay?" She asked. When really we should be asking her that. Almost like Zoe read my mind.
"Why are you asking us that? How about, are you okay?" She says.
"M'fine." She says coldly.
"Listen just come home, no one's mad and they've already seen the article." She says. I hear shuffling and then I pick up that she's lighting something. She mumbles words of anger.
"They beat him to fucking death. Death." She says, raising her voice. I hear scribbling as a pen clicks.
"It's going to be alright." Clearly Zoe has never been on the other end of this. When you are in that spot it feels like nothing will get better. We can hear her car rumbling getting back on the road; her cars louder.
"Please tell me you're coming home." Zoe says defeated.
"Are you with all of them?" I hear her voice crack out.
"No. Just me." Zoe lies.
"This is SO stupid! I caused all of this shit just because something happened. I had one week, ONE WEEK until Julien came home to clean myself up and fucked it all up. She knows everything. I'm drinking again, I'm sad again, my anger never subsides and y'know what? I blacked out in my car last night! (Phoebe reference🤭) Why? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW." She yells. I hear her trying to muffle her sobs. It shatters me. I feel horrible.
"Maybe you should pull over-" Zoe tries to start saying.
"I'm already home." She mumbles and hangs up. I shoot up from my seat but Lucy grabs my arm.
"Let her come in when she's ready." She says. I hear her car lock with a beep as she comes in through the garage door. Her eyes are bloodshot, her lips are red from the cold and from crying. She shakily tries to make her way over before collapsing on the ground with broken sobs. I run over to her as she tries to stand up again. She stumbles to her bedroom as I follow directly on her heels.
"Go away Julien!" She says.
"Wait! Just listen, I was too damn but hurt that all I cared about was my own feelings. You are right, you are always here for me and I need to always be there for you. I'm sorry, honey I'm so, so sorry." I say grabbing her face with my hands. I wipe her tears with my thumbs as she breaks down into me. We sit on her bed as she cries and cries into my chest.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She repeats like a prayer.
"Shhh, shh it's okay I got you okay, you have nothing to be sorry for." I say.
Eventually the boys and Zoe make they're way into her bedroom as we all cuddle up. I hear her giggle as she feels all of us in the bed. She sits up, wipes her eyes and blows her nose as she inhales a big breath.
"I love you guys so fucking much." She says

-el