Short stories :)

A spiral

Tw: mental health struggles, talk of addiction
Fluff :)

ALSO the boys won Grammys?! I was crying I'm so proud of them😭
This is a longer one

Get up, go back to bed. That's all I ever seem to do. It's like I'm just surrounded. Surrounded by a fog, Surrounded by fake people. Surrounded by nothing but the endless cycle of emotion and grief. I grieve over people that aren't even dead. Just people that don't come around anymore.
With trembling hands I try to text someone, anyone. It doesn't matter who, I'm just scared. Scared of me. Scared of what I could've been. I'm staring at my ceiling that only seems to be spinning as I pick up the item with a blaring ring coming from it, a small glow casts over my face as I pick up and answer.
"Yo." I say into the phone.
"Hey, uhh sorry for the random call, I just wanted to see how you were." Julien says.
"M'fine." I mumble as I slam my head into my pillow knowing she can see right through me. Even if she's not physically here.
"No you're not." She states in a monotone voice. I just give her silence on the other line as I fight back the tears I know will come eventually.
"I'm comin' over." She hangs up the line before I can say anything back. I swing my legs over the side of the bed trying to get a grasp on reality and ground myself as if I've blacked out. I wobble my way to the bathroom and wipe the gunk from my eyes. I need to look somewhat okay before Julien arrives at my apartment, which my room seems to only be the part the tornado hit. I pull shorts and a hoodie on me and throw my hair up into a bun. I look fine... I guess.

Julien arrived about an hour ago and she's looking at me like I might shatter. I look at her through glossy eyes with my tear stained cheeks.
"Just leave me alone." I mumble trying to walk away from this.
"No, absolutely not. I know exactly where you are right now. I just want you to let me care about you!" She exclaims holding my shoulders with her callused fingers. They always seem to feel soft to me.
"Why do you care?!" I exclaim shoving her arms off of me as mine go up in the air.
"Because I lo- because I care about you so much it kills me to see you like this." She says looking right into my eyes. I take a moment to scan her face just in case it's the last time I'll ever see it. The way her eyebrows furrow when she really focuses on something. Her big brown button eyes. The crinkles on her forehead that show sometimes. I memorize everything about her because when people see me at this moment or see what i've been hiding, they run. It would just hurt a lot more because it's her. I melt like putty in her hands when she pulls me into her. She wraps her arms around my shuddering shoulders shaking with sobs that tremble out of me like floodgates that have been opened. We ended up on the cold tile but she kept me warm.I couldn't stand very much longer as she still held me tight.
"Do you wanna move to a different pla-" She tries to start before I cut her off.
"Can we just stay here for a little while." My voice threatens to break with every syllable as I might cry again.
"If you're comfortable, I'm comfortable." She says into the top of my head as I snuggle impossibly closer to her.
"Why didn't you leave me?" I say.
"I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did. I can't live without you."

We hadn't moved in a while and I just clawed onto her flannel like my life depended on it. She started to hum a song that I couldn't recognize at first.
Everywhere Everything
Wanna love you till were food for the worms
God I am so in love with her. Wait. Yep. I started to hum along with her when she pulled me up.
"Alright c'mon." She said with her southern drawl on the end of it. Yep, I'm definitely in love with her.
"What are we doing?" I said with a slight laugh as she stopped dead in her tracks at the state of my room. She quickly left the daze and went to work.
"Jules stop- let me help you at least?" I said.
"Turn on some music!" She said with a big toothy smile. I laughed. I laughed. God it felt good to do that again. I grabbed my speaker and turned on whatever I was playing last as C'est Comme Ca started playing by Paramore.

We've made some solid progress as I've been working on my room as Julien didn't have too much to clean around my apartment. She went back to helping me. My laundry is in the dryer as I clean up the rest of the trash and random things in my room. When Black Hole started playing by the boys I instantly started singing. Having no clue that Julien was behind me.
"You sound good." She said suddenly.
"JESUS CHRIST!" I exclaimed with my soul practically leaving my body. She just snickers at my response.
"Why won't you ever sing with us?" She asks, meaning her and the boys.
"I'm really not that good, so..." I trail off.
"I've read the stuff you've written, you are so far away from bad!" She says with defeat throwing her arms in the air. I shake my head with a roll of my eyes which doesn't go unnoticed by the tattooed girl.
"Don't roll your eyes at me! I'm just saying, you have a talent. As much as you don't want to believe it, you do," She says.
"Have you ever heard any of the godsend that you come up with?"
"Yes, and?"
"I could never write a song that would be nearly as good as anything you or the boys have written."
"Well yea that's pretty true." She replied with a sly smirk to which I chucked a shirt at her.
"Shut up!"
"Make me." She said,
"You cocky motherfucker!" I said plopping down next to her as we both stared at my ceiling on our backs.
"You know you love me,"
"Mhm," I mumbled back. I held my fist up to which she bummed in return and said,
"We've made some serious progress, thanks for helpin' me J,"
"No problem, do you want Dunkin?"
I let out a laugh as I got up. I looked actually presentable to go out in public; having showered after Julien got here.
"I wanna drive!" I said, I haven't driven in a while and I really wanted to.
"Should I let you though?"
"Asshole." I said with my hand springing up to slap her shoulder as she pretended to be very offended by.
"Oh you're fine!" I said as we walked out of the house and into my car. I turned on some music as I drove us to Dunkin. I tapped along to the song on the steering wheel. I felt a pair of eyes staring at me from the corner of my eye. I let it go as I pulled up in the drive through. We ordered our drinks as we were getting them, Julien was recognized by the girl at the window.
"Didn't know you had hoes Jules," I say
"Seriously?"
"I'm fucking with you!" She laughed at my remark.
"Ooo lets go to the park!" She said with her eyes lighting up.
"It's cold!"
"Then we'll just stay in the car!" She said, silently pleading with her eyes. I didn't even say anything as I moved the gear shift and left the Dunkin parking lot. I saw her victory smile in the corner of my eye as I couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of my mouth.
"She had a point, that's none of our business! Can't we just save the rock we're on now?" Julien said.
"I really wish humans were willing to help save the planet we've been destroying."
"True." We got to the conversion of the planet and how Lucy said the moon was none of our business.
I turned in my seat to face her as she looked out at the park. She turned back to me and smiled. This could end badly...but it probably will if we make it bad, right? She looked right into my eyes as they traveled down to my lips.
"I saw that."
"Dammit," She said; a light color of scarlet danced on her cheeks as she looked away. Just then her song came on in my car. Relative Fiction.
"NOO turn this off!!" She exclaimed. To which I turned it up and started dancing in my seat. I sang along to her song as she just sat there laughing at my antics. The more the song continued the more she let it keep going.
"Why are you so embarrassed by your songs?" I asked
"I don't really know," Now it was my turn to look at her lips.
"I saw that." (I stole this from a story I read before :))
"ANYWAYS, you staying with me tonight?" I asked.
"I need to let my dog out but then I could come back with you?"
"BEANS!! I wanna see Beans!" I said as I dashed out of the park.
"Hiii Beansss!" I said with my voice dragging out as I crouched down to pet the furry friend. (I don't know if Beans is a girl or boy lol but I think girl)
We got back in the car as I drove home. We walked through the door frame as I took a deep breath in contentment as I took in my clean apartment again.
"We really did good huh?" Julien says as she puts her hand on the small of my back.
"We really did." I say back as I lean into her touch.
"How do I repay you?" I ask.
"I mean you paid for dunkin but I have an idea-"
"BAKER!" I say yelling at her as she laughs at my reaction.
She looks at me with a look I can't read very well. I walk over to my couch and launch myself on it. To that Julien joins in suit. I turn on the tv to whatever was on last and we sit there for a while. A breathy laugh leaving one of us here and there.
"Can I ask you something?"
"What's up?" She said with a tilt of her head.
"How long did it take?"
"How long did what take?"
"Y'know, you're how many years sober now?"
"It really depends, but it does take a minute. You have good days and bad days. But, on those bad days you call me."
"I know J," I said with a small smile. She crawled over to me and brought me into her embrace. My muscles relaxed as she caged me into her grasp.
"You promise?"
"I promise." I said raising my pinky up to hers as she wrapped her tatted pinky around mine.