Gone Gone Kins

Normal

March 14, 2009
15:30 AM

I'm sitting on the bench in the school courtyard, i skipped in school detention today. Everything looks so dead. Especially me. I hadnt put on any makeup. My lips are chapped licking them every two seconds.

I look around, looking at all the people socializing. I look at Meredith, with her friends, god why cant i be like her. Why can't i talk normally.

"Kins! Kins! Are you listening?!" Grady pokes my side. I flinch, like a normal person would. Then i slap his hand away, like a normal person would.

"What?" I say, annoyed. I glare at him. His blonde ashy hair and green eyes look normal.

"Did you hear anything i just said?!" He groans. Granola bar in his hand. First i nod, but then he looks at me with a serious face. Then i shake my head.

"No, sorry, I guess I wasn't really paying attention." I mutter, avoiding eye contact.

Grady lets out a sigh. "You've been off lately. What's going on?" he asks. I shift uncomfortably, tracing invisible patterns on the worn-out wood.

"I'm fine." I lied. Liar, you fucking liar.

I glance over at Tom and Tony. Having a normal conversation as always. I wish i was normal. I wish i could say i wish that i'm normal.

"Well, if you ever need to talk, you know where to find me." he says, giving my shoulder a squeeze before heading back into the school.

Alone on the bench, I continue watching the world pass by. The chatter around me blurs into an indistinct hum, and I can't escape the feeling and thought of being an outsider. My gaze returns to Meredith, effortlessly blending in. She turns to look at me. I look down.

Suddenly, a pair of bright pink shoes appear in front of my black shoes. I slowly look up, "Kinsley." Meredith smirks.

"It's Kins." I correct her, attempting to keep my voice steady.

She chuckles "Kins, whatever. You know, you really need to work on fitting in. Look at yourself. No makeup, chapped lips, sitting here like a loner. It's embarrassing."

I glance over at tom and tony again, their staring. Everyone is staring. Meredith leans in.

"Aww whats wrong? Silent kitty now? You weren't so silent the other day you bitch!" She yells.

The courtyard seems to close in, and I struggle to find my voice. "Leave me alone, Meredith."

"You wish you were normal, don't you?" She says. I avoid eye contact with her. Still, nothing.

Suddenly, Meredith gets pulled back and turned around. A big punch in her face. She falls onto me, i stare down at her then i look up.

Tom.

"Shit." I mumble.