𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐖𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐊 ✎ 𝐠𝐲𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐰𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠 『zerobaseone』

T W E N T Y

Ricky began flipping through the pages, confused by the lack of response to his question. He was taken aback as he noticed the resemblance between the characters' features and his own and Jiwoong's. However, what truly caught him off guard were the unfamiliar and somewhat exaggerated scenarios depicted in the comic, showcasing moments he and Jiwoong had experienced together. He shut the book and directed his gaze towards the author's pen name 'bamvini' , before turning his attention back to his lover. In that moment, he locked eyes with Gyuvin, who seemed to have tears welling up. With a trembling breath, Ricky mustered the courage to ask, "Did... Did you write this? Is this story about me and him?" As he posed the question, his finger instinctively pointed towards Jiwoong, but his focus remained fixed on his beloved Gyuvin.

Gyuvin was overwhelmed by a sense of devastation, as if his entire world had crumbled around him. He found himself at a loss for words, unsure of how to navigate the situation he was in. If he chose to tell the truth, he feared that it would lead to the end of everything he held dear. On the other hand, if he resorted to lying, he worried that the consequences would only worsen. Tears welled up in his eyes, betraying his inner dilemma. In a trembling voice, he mustered the strength to utter a hesitant "yes." Regret and remorse washed over him, and, "I'm sorry" he desperately pleaded and apologized for his actions. "I'm sorry, I really am. I was just a huge fan of your dynamic back then, I-", he confessed but his apologies were interrupted by the uncontrollable stream of tears rolling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry- I'll call off the publica-", his words were in a mess as he struggled to regain composure, barely managing to express his intention to withdraw the publication. However, the weight of his emotions caused him to hiccup uncontrollably, making him unable to finish his sentence.

Jiwoong's voice was filled with a calming tone as he extended a tissue towards Gyuvin, "calm down". Instead of anger, Jiwoong's emotions were tinged with a sense of disappointment, for he had never anticipated that Gyuvin would be one of the overly enthusiastic fan of their relationship.

"Please hit me, curse at me, or anything. I'd rather be beaten up for what I did wrong rather than the both of you being mad at me-"

Ricky let out a heavy sigh, "I'm not mad" expressing his frustration. He couldn't hide his disappointment as he turned away to catch his breath, only to turn back and face the two individuals in front of him. Trying to downplay his anger, he sarcastically said "This isnt really new to us, you can even write a fucking s*x scene if you want, and I wouldn't even complain ". He paused and continued, "We encountered multiple stories about us, this isn't the first time", he explained, but his voice began to tremble as he continued speaking. Looking directly at Gyuvin, his eyes filled with tears, Ricky questioned "But out of all the fucking people in the world, why are you one of them?".

"Ricky, calm down-"

With a remorseful tone, Gyuvin uttered "I'm sorry" as he dropped down to his knees, expressing his regret.

Despite Ricky's best efforts, he found it impossible to hold back his tears, as they rolled down his face. With a wavering voice, "I'm not mad but I feel betrayed". Clenching his teeth tightly, he vented his frustration by running his hands through his hair. With a trembling voice, he couldn't help but question the sincerity of their love, "Did you ever truly have feelings for me? Or was it all merely for content? The plot? Just for the sake of the fucking comic?". Tears continuing to stream down his face, Ricky mustered the courage to express his feelings, "Gyuvin, I... I love you, sincerely. But what about you? Did you ever love me?", desperately seeking reassurance of their love in return.

"I did, I really love you-"

"Did you? From the very start?" Ricky sought clarification from the other boy. However, to Ricky's dismay, the other boy chose to remain silent, causing his tears to flow even more uncontrollably as he realized the meaning of the silence. The revelation hit Ricky hard, "I just can't grasp the thought that all the time we spent together were nothing but both of us feeding our delusions.", as he struggled to comprehend the idea that the entirety of their shared moments was merely a figment of their imaginations, a facade they both unknowingly participated in. As Ricky wiped away his tears, he expressed the immense pain he felt, "It hurts so bad, it was as if all this time, I was the ONLY one who actually wants to be in the relationship -"

"That's not true, Ricky. I love you; I swear. I was so confused when you confessed, and I admit that took advantage of the situation to become closer to you two and continue the comic. But I liked you before we started dating. I was so busy with the ship that I didn't realize that I actually liked you. It may seem like I'm making an excuse but I'm telling the truth." Gyuvin explained as he looked down as he wiped away his tears. "As much as I don't want you to be angry with me, I know what I did is unforgivable." He said as he looked up and saw Ricky's tear-stained face.

Despite his strong desire to become angry with his lover, Ricky found himself unable to do so. When he saw Gyuvin's puffy face, it felt as though all his disappointment began to wash away. Gyuvin had hurt Ricky deeply, yet Ricky couldn't bring himself to get mad. 'Fuck how can I get mad at that face' He questioned how he could possibly be mad at such an innocent-looking face. Ricky turned away, trying to resist the boy's influence, but eventually, he gathered his composure and glanced back. Locking eyes with Gyuvin, Ricky mustered the courage to speak. "I..." he began, his voice barely audible. "I just need to know if you truly cared for me as much as I did to you..." he mumbled. Ricky yearned to shout out his question, but he feared receiving an answer that differed from his hopes.

"I do-"

Ricky hastily interrupted the conversation, "Stop, don't answer it. I'll leave for now". Without any intention of listening to Gyuvin's words, he made his way towards his home. Overwhelmed with uncertainty, Ricky murmured to himself, contemplating the potential consequences if Gyuvin were to deny his request. Filled with overwhelming emotions, he securely locked his door, seeking comfort in the solitude of his own space.

Jiwoong let out a deep sigh, his frustration evident as he rose to his feet. "Gyuvin, I'm mad but it's fine. I already forgave you, but please fix your relationship..." he expressed, his voice tinged with a hint of sadness. Extending his hand, Jiwoong made a genuine gesture, offering his support to help the boy regain his footing.

'Or else I'll... never mind'

Gyuvin reached out and took hold of Jiwoong's hand, his heart heavy with regret. He raised his head slightly, his voice laced with a mix of remorse and determination as he said, "I'm sorry... I will do everything in my power to make things right, I swear." Jiwoong offered a comforting pat on Gyuvin's back before quietly making his exit from the location, leaving Gyuvin alone with his thoughts and the weight of his promise.

Gyuvin, his voice filled with exhaustion and guilt, he questioned "What am I supposed to do now?".

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to be continued...