𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐖𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐊 ✎ 𝐠𝐲𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐰𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠 『zerobaseone』

T W E N T Y - T H R E E

After Jiwoong departed, Ricky promptly grabbed the booklet gifted by his lover and went to his room to read it. "What's this-," he muttered. His eyes grew wide as he scanned the first page, seeing a nostalgic drawing of himself and Gyuvin from their initial meeting, capturing the moment when the blond first moved into the building.

As he delved further into the comic, he found himself immersed in Gyuvin's perspective, experiencing the past through his eyes. The pages encapsulated all of Gyuvin's genuine emotions, with his initial thoughts like, "this would make a good content." Despite feeling a twinge of sadness, the blond couldn't tear himself away from the story.

The comic took a turn when Gyuvin's thoughts shifted from being purely content driven to considerations of Ricky's preferences, sparking a bittersweet smile on the blond's face. Eventually, he arrived at a scene depicting their argument, "Oh... I can't read this", he muttered prompting him to skip through those pages to avoid revisiting those painful memories.

Finally, he reached the concluding pages depicting the interactions between the elderly man and his beloved, causing him to utter a soft "cute" as he admired the flower gifted by the vendor. With a heavy heart, Ricky reached the end of the booklet, where a letter awaited him. Though tempted to discard it, he chose to open and read its contents.

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To my dearest, Ricky.

First of all, I sincerely apologize for not informing you about the comic. I initially took advantage of your confession, but before our paths even crossed, before you even knew of my existence I already admired you.

This may sound like an excuse but my delusions clouded my true emotions for you. I know that no amount of words can fully convey my regret, and you may not find a reason to forgive me. The time spent with you were the happiest moments of my life. Your presence brought me happiness.

Lastly, I want you to know that I love you Ricky. Despite any doubts you may have, my feelings for you are genuine. If this isn't love, then I am unsure if love exists at all. As much as I want to be near you, to hold you, to plead for your forgiveness, I will respect your need for space and stay away until you are ready to talk. Once again, I love you, Ricky.

- Gyuvin

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Ricky was completely overwhelmed by the letter, his senses were overtaken by the pounding of his own heart. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks, but this time they were not tears of anger or regret, but tears of relief. Reading Gyuvins' heartfelt words finally allowed Ricky to feel the depth of love the boy had for him. The effort that his lover put into winning back his heart proved his genuine feelings. "How can I possibly hold onto my anger now, Gyuvin?" The blond chuckled to himself as he folded the letter and held it close. After a few moments of letting his tears flow, he wiped away his tears and laughed as he headed to the bathroom to freshen up.

After Ricky had finished washing his face and drying off, he couldn't help but notice the tell-tale signs of tears still lingering on his cheeks when he glanced at his reflection in the mirror. "Damn, my face is way too puffy", letting out a chuckle at how obvious it was, he made his way out of the bathroom only to be taken aback by the sight of Jiwoong casually seated on the sofa, casually cracking open a can of beer.

"Want some?" Jiwoong asked, handing out a can.

Ricky's face lit up with a grin as he reached for the beer and settled into the seat next to the boy. "How long have you been back?" he asked, taking a leisurely sip of his drink.

"A little while ago, when you were reading a letter and crying--"

Ricky choked on his beer as his eyes widened in shock "YOU SAW THAT?!", he asked.

Jiwoong chuckled at the sight of his surprised friend, "Why are you so embarrassed about that? It wasn't the first time I saw you bawl your eyes out" he teased. "But over a guy? That's the first", he added as he found it amusing and unexpected.

"Whatever," laughed Ricky.

'He's finally smiling' Jiwoong couldn't help but smile as he noticed the blond was in a noticeably improved mood. It seemed like a weight had been lifted off his friend's shoulders, and Jiwoong was happy to see him looking more cheerful and relaxed.

After sitting in silence for a while, Ricky finally broke the quiet, "Thanks...", he said as he put his can of beer down. "I'm a mess but you still stood by my side. Even though we're basically involved in it, you still acted strong and supported me." He acknowledged his own struggles and how the other stood by him through it all, even though they were both involved in the same messy situation. "Honestly you could've acted out as well, but you didn't and took care of me instead. I know we would rather kick each others asses rather than admit this but I want you to know that I'm really thankful that you became my friend..." With a smile, he pulled his Jiwoong into a heartfelt hug, showing just how much their friendship meant to him.

"Aww, Gyuvin made you a real softie-" Jiwoong joked, but was quickly interrupted by Ricky's tight hug. "Stop killing me!" Jiwoong said, tapping out.

"You never fail to ruin a moment, do you?" The blond scoffed as he released the hug.

"So have you tried contacting him?" Jiwoong asked earning a confused look from the blond. "I mean you still clearly like him," He added with a faint smile that was able to hide the pain he felt.

"No, I haven't" Ricky replied in a quiet voice.

Jiwoong sighed and asked, "But you want to see him again, right? Right?"

"I guess-"

Jiwoong slammed his beer can down on the table, his eyes locking onto the blond, "I NEED A CLEAR ANSWER," he stated firmly, though deep down he secretly wished for a different outcome. The tension in the room was palpable as they waited for the response.

'I hope not'

As Ricky took a deep breathk, his voice trembled slightly as he confessed, "I do, I still have feelings for Gyuvin." His words hung in the air, he felt as if a heavy weight on his shoulders has been lifted off as he finally admitted the truth.

Jiwoong's heart sank as he processed the news, but he put on a brave face and mustered a smile. "In that case, you should definitely get some rest," he gently suggested, leading the blond to the bedroom. Ricky looked puzzled by the sudden change in direction.

"What?" Ricky asked confused as Jiwoong successfully tucked him to bed.

"What? You wanna see him right?" Jiwoong asked while Ricky just nodded quietly. "Then sleep tight, we'll have to get up early tomorrow to go to his convention." The older smiled and patted Ricky's head. And finally he left the bedroom and closed the door.

Jiwoong let out a deep sigh and allowed himself to collapse onto the floor in defeat. Frustration evident in his voice, he muttered, "Why am I always one step behind...?" Running his hands through his hair in annoyance, he took a moment to gather his thoughts before making his way over to Ricky's couch to finally get some rest.

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to be continued...