Kidnapped by Yours Truly

Chapter 1

A trail of snow fringed the perimeters of the pavement. Salt was lazily strewn across the roads, muddy boots collecting the few flakes it did managed to catch. A few sheens of droplets from melted snow winked at the contrasting sun. A few rays somehow hit my path, but the cold hadn't improved. My scarf mocked me, unraveling itself with the callous wind.

Oh, why you ask? Forced grocery shopping. Worse yet, in the middle of January. I couldn't see any other teenagers half obtaining frostbite, wheezing from the God damned white hell and carrying 3 bags of shopping, for God knows what strange food their mother will have managed to 'unintentionally' poison.

Don't get me wrong, I loved my parents. But don't come up to me saying they're not evil. I bet they secret collective organisations in which parents think of the worst ways to inflict pain onto us.

"Let's start with the female sulkers. So we can purchase built in blood bags, oozing lumps of veginal tissues, and place it between the ovaries. That way they'll have periodic seizures every time they attempt to move. Oh heck, let's just throw in a throbbing uterus and full-blown mood swings to top it all off." Cue emotionless smile.

An elderly couple stared at me as if I'd just regurgitated half their baguette. Then I noticed I'd been grumbling to myself. And now I was hungry as well. Just great.

Food, food, food. Answer my prayers, oh worthy warriors of digestion. Ok, I kinda see what those two were looking at now. Yeah, maybe I should look into counselling.

I looked down to see three bags stuffed full of food. Oh yeah, those. Is it normal to call yourself a moron?

I sat down by a nearby bench, rummaging through the goods. Dear Lord, that double layer pistachio and honey oat ice cream cone.

It was around 3pm or so, and I seemed to be in a more desolate road now. There were little to no cars passing by either. There was a plain of vast grassland behind me, also cursed with a blanket of snow as an appropriate apparel- I never did like this area. Come to think of it, I'd never been here in my life...

I hastily sprang to my legs and started speed-walking through the road- couldn't let the ice cream drop. After 15 minutes, I was more lost than before and my ice cream had somehow disappeared. Getting lost was really not the most calming of events at a time like this. And I never could handle situations like this.

I was 8, my family (15-year-old brother and parents) had gone to a theme park. I spotted a candy floss booth and without a second thought abandoned them to get the goods. Come on, it was candyfloss. What would you have done? Well, I only started panicking when my candyfloss was all sticky with some form of slob or another and began to taste like rotten plastic.

Fine, I had a full-blown meltdown. I started going around each family I could see and rubbed the now very strange-looking candyfloss all over them, causing half of them to start yelling out language no 8-year-old ears should have had to endure. I honestly haven't a clue what I had intended to achieve. After a while, the police found me and asked where I last was. I pointed at the candyfloss booth and bawled that the poor man in there had taken me hostage. I showed them a scar on my forehead (that I had gotten years ago) and stated he had hit me. Don't even ask what kind of deranged kid I was back then. Well, he was charged of inappropriate child handling and nobody knows what became of him to this day...

But I really couldn't get lost again. It ought to get dark in a few hours. Winter really did suck. I turned another corner, then another and another. No, no, no! I shoved my hand wildly into my pockets and pulled out my touch-screen with a slightly less disconcerted face. And of course the expression immediately returned when it showed I had no signal. Ugh. I should have come prepared with some easy-use, solar-powered brick phone or something. Not that I owned one.

This sort of thing always happened in the movies. The no-good of an imbecile manages to get lost in the worst of circumstances, not to mention in awfully shitty weather, with no signal on her phone and lacking a source of nutrition to keep her alive, i.e. that now finished heavenly ice cream. Vegetables or keep-healthy high protein fruit bars do not count.

Suddenly, every bird humming or twig snapping was a serial killer or child rapist. My own footsteps scared the living daylight out of me at one point.

So imagine my shock when some fool decided to gag me with some cloth in the middle of the road, tying my arms together by which time I was almost falling asleep. I mean, come on! I'm an unarmed girl carrying shopping bags and a hopeless device for a phone. What could I have possibly done to the idiot? Force-fed them to death?

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