Lonely Heart

Call It What You Want

It's two days until school starts and I'm feeling a mix of emotions. On the one hand, I'm excited to start a new year, to meet new people and take on new challenges. But on the other hand, I'm a little bit nervous. I'm not sure what to expect, or how I'll fit in. I want to make a good impression, to make friends, and to do well in my classes. But I also don't want to feel overwhelmed or out of place. It's a lot to think about, and I'm not sure what to do. I guess I'll just have to take things one at a time.

The first day will be the hardest, but once I get through it, the rest will be easier. I'll just have to remember to take a deep breath and focus on my goals. I know I can do this, and I know that I'll be okay. I have a good support system, and I'm confident in my abilities. I just need to believe in myself and stay positive. I'll do my best and see where it takes me. And hopefully, the new year will be full of opportunities and new experiences.

I have been spending a lot of time with my friends, going to the movies, hanging out at the mall, and just having fun. I also have been spending time with Armas, getting to know him better and learning about his interests. He's funny, smart, and always has something interesting to say. I enjoys our conversations, and I feel like we really understand each other. We have a lot in common, and I feel comfortable around him. It's a friendship that's growing and evolving, and I'm excited to see where it goes.

I'm is sitting at my desk, trying to figure out my class schedule for the new school year. My mom walks in, carrying a tray of freshly baked cookies. "Hey sweetie, how's it going?", Mom asks, setting the tray down on the desk.

I smile and take a deep breath. "It's going okay, but I'm a bit overwhelmed", I say, looking up at my mom. "I just don't know where to start".

My mom smiles reassuringly and sits down next to me. "Well, let's take it one step at a time. What's your biggest concern?".

I sigh and lean back in my chair. "I'm just worried that I won't be able to balance everything. I want to do well in school, but I also want to have a social life and make friends. And I want to do extracurricular activities, but I'm not sure how to fit it all in. It's like there aren't enough hours in the day".

My mom nods and listens patiently. "It's okay to feel overwhelmed, Nora. Maybe we can sit down and make a plan together. Let's see if we can figure out how to fit everything in, so you can have a balanced school year".

My shoulders relax a little, and I take a deep breath. "Thanks, mom. I think that would help a lot". We get to work, mapping out a schedule that gives me time for school, friends, and activities. We talk about how to manage time, how to prioritize tasks, and how to stay organized. When we're done, I feel a sense of relief. "Thanks, mom, I feel a lot better now. I think this will help me feel more in control of my school year".

My mom smiles and gives me a hug. "I'm glad, sweetie. Now let's have some cookies and relax a bit, okay?". I laugh and grab a cookie from the tray. "That sounds like a great plan!".

We sit and chat about everything and nothing, just enjoying each other's company. The rest of the afternoon passes in a relaxed, happy blur.

Mom left my room a few hours ago. I'm now sitting outside my window, on the roof. I lean back against the roof, looking up at the stars. The sky is clear and the stars are shining brightly. The air is cool, and a gentle breeze is blowing through my hair. I take a deep breath, enjoying the quiet, peaceful moment. I close my eyes and listens to the sounds of the night - crickets chirping, birds singing, and leaves rustling in the wind. I feel calm and content, just being in the moment, enjoying the beauty of the night.

"Wildflower". I hear someone whisper.

My eyes fly open, I look down and I see Armas standing below me, smiling up at me. "Hey", He says, his voice gentle. "I was just walking by and saw you up here. I didn't want to interrupt your moment, but I just wanted to say hi". I smile back at him.

"Hey", I reply, feeling a rush of warmth at the sight of him. "I'm glad you came by. It's nice to have some company". I scooch over, making room for him on the roof. "Come up and join me?".

Armas climbs up onto the roof and sits down next to me, his shoulder brushing against mine. "This is nice", He says, looking out at the stars. "It's peaceful up here". I nod, feeling the same way.

We sit in silence for a moment, just enjoying each other's company. I can feel the warmth of Armas's body next to me, and I feel comforted by his presence. "I couldn't help but notice you in deep thought up here. What were you thinking about up here?", Armas asks, breaking the silence. I consider for a moment. "I was just thinking about how much my life has changed this year", I say. "I was thinking about how different my life is now than it was a year ago. I've made new friends, found new hobbies, and learned so much about myself. I feel like I've grown a lot, and I'm proud of myself for that. But I also feel a little bit scared of the future, of what's to come." I pause, taking a breath. "I guess I'm just feeling a lot of things all at once".

Armas listens intently, his eyes focused on me. "I think that's a normal thing to feel", He says, his voice reassuring. "It's okay to feel a little bit uncertain about the future. That just means you're open to new possibilities, and that's a good thing. You can't always know what's coming, but you can be ready for whatever comes your way".

I nod, feeling a little reassured by his words. "I think you're right. It's just a little overwhelming sometimes".

Armas smiles at me. "Well, I'm here if you ever need to talk about it. I know it can be hard to process all these big feelings on your own". I feel a rush of gratitude, and a feeling of warmth towards Armas.

I suddenly remember when Armas and I was younger we used to sit up here and watch the stars all night. I smile as the memory comes flooding back. "I remember when we were kids, we used to sit up here and watch the stars", I say, looking over at Armas. "We'd stay up late, just talking and watching the night sky. I loved those nights. They were so simple, but they were some of my favorite memories".

Armas looks over at me, a soft smile on his face. "I remember those nights too", He says. "They were some of the best times. I felt like we could talk about anything, like we were just two kids with no worries in the world."

"I used to wish on the stars all the time back then", I say, a wistful look in my eyes. "I remember wishing for all sorts of things - for a puppy, for good grades, for all the candy in the world". Armas laughs. "I remember those wishes too", He says. "I also remember that you were never satisfied with the wishes you got". I laugh along with him. "I guess I was always a bit of a dreamer", I say, a hint of pride in my voice.

We take a pause for a moment. "Did Seb tell you? He got into UCL", I say.

We found a few days ago that he got in. University College of London is one of the top universities in the world, and I know that my brother has worked hard to get in. I'm proud of him, but I can't help but feel a bit of envy, too. I know it's not rational, but I can't shake the feeling. I love my brother, and I'm going to miss him if he leaves. The house will be so quiet without him.

"Yeah, he told me", Armas takes a pause. "That's in London, but he said his not sure if his actually going".

"I know", I say. "Did you get any e-mails from the colleges you applied by yet?", I ask.

"Nope. Nothing yet", He says.

"That's a pity. I'm sure you'll get feedback soon", I say.

"I hope so", He smiles, lightly.

I realize that's it's getting late. I greet Armas goodnight and he climbs off the roof and out of my backyard. I climb back through my window, into my room. As I step foot into my room, my door opens and my father steps into my room.

"Nora, is everything okay. I heard voices", Dad says.

I take a pause. Thinking about what I should say. "No dad, I didn't say anything. I'm just getting ready for bed", I lie.

"I'm sure I heard somebody-".

"I said it was nothing, dad. I didn't say anything", I cut my father off.

"Okay then", He sighs. "Goodnight darling. And close your window, it's a little cold in here", He says.

"Okay father", I say, before he closes the door.

I sit on my bed and let out a sigh. That was close. Father would not of been happy if he saw Armas and I hanging out this late a night.

I shake off the thought and climb straight into bed.