Turbulence [𝗠.𝗩.]

Spain, Post-Race

When the world makes you cry, a real big ugly cry, that's a n x i e t y ! - @JessicaBond57

@JessicaBond57 I'm calling your therapist - @LiamLawson40

@JessicaBond57 @LiamLawson40 I'm calling her parents - @JamesWebb

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SPAIN
AFTER THE RACE
JUNE

With the race over, my thoughts betray me instantly. I've done so well to not think about what's going on off-track, but the second I'm packing my electronics into my denim shoulder bag, it all comes flying at me like a tornado.

DannyBoy;
I'm sorry Jess
Liam told me everything
We still friends?

I want to ignore the text, not out of malice, just a desire to not keep dealing with this right now. But I don't want Daniel to think I'm going to stop being his friend because he made a relatively small mistake. He thought he was helping. I might well have done the same in his position. I get it.

Jess (Me);
Duh.
We can talk later, okay?
Just clear the air between us for both our sakes.
But I need to get dinner first.
Fucking starving.
And I might hit Lance if I see him again. Which
I don't want to do if I'm gonna try to be his friend.

I stuff my phone into my bag and head out of the hospitality unit. Under the night sky, the paddock is lit by bright lights, but remains somewhat dimmed in terms of atmosphere. The fans are gone, and all that's left is the need to dismantle everything to get it ready to ship off to the next location: Canada.

I wave at a few people as I walk past them; they look shattered. I don't blame them. It's a gruelling task to be prepping and dismantling each race weekend, flying from location to location. I think, perhaps at the end of the season, I should do something nice for the guys that do it for our team. Maybe buy some drinks for everyone, or some chocolates. I fish my phone out of my bag and stick the idea in my notes app: present for the poor sods that do all the legwork. Figure something out.

Before I can put my phone away again, it buzzes once more. I swallow an uncomfortable lump in my throat.

Vershtoppan (Max);
Coffee? Before you fly out?

I think back to Miami. Had that been Daniel's idea, that Max just so happened upon me at the airport? Or had Daniel told him that if he spotted me, he should say something? Liam's advice comes back to haunt me briefly: Talk to him, or let it play out.

I've never been the best at talking things out. I was always the weird kid in school, for not liking stereotypical girly things. It led me to become socially withdrawn. It's why my only female friends are other aspiring F1 drivers. It's why I didn't know how to speak to James after our spat. It's why sometimes I'm so goddamn dense.

Liam's other piece of advice hits me: you've got nothing to lose.

Fuck it. I'm an adult, right? This is what adults do: talk shit out... right?

Jahsica (Me);
My flight is pretty soon but I have time
I'm just leaving the paddock now
Meet at the gate?