Loving the Ice Queen

Chapter 10

Barbara

Ryan's hold slackened. I took advantage and slipped out. My triumphant mood dipped when I saw his face. His shocked gaze was fixed on my forearms.

Sucking in a sharp breath, I quickly lowered the sleeve that had ridden up.

"What the fuck is that?" he asked slowly.

I sat all the way down and looked away. Our heavy breathing sounded loud in the ensuing silence. Ryan's gaze felt like a heavy weight against my face. My heart was beating fast.

"Did you do that yourself?" he asked cautiously.

With a sigh, I pulled up my sleeve and held out my forearm for him to see.

It was easier to speak with him after what I had told him in the car. I did not see Ryan as a threat. It would be difficult to spill everything to him, but he deserved to know the gist of things.

In for a penny, in for a pound.

The adrenaline from the fight also helped loosen up my lips. Besides, I did not want him to think that I did that to myself.

The cigarette burns and knife scars left my skin uneven and bumpy. Scarred. Ugly.

Ryan looked at my forearm, shock evident on his features.

"They're not self-inflicted," I said quietly, grateful my voice was steady.

"Who did that, then?" he asked.

I tugged my sleeves down, hiding the ugly reminder of my childhood. Ryan sighed and rubbed his face. "You don't have to talk about it if-"

"My mother," I blurted out. "And her boyfriend. Mostly my mother."

He blinked hard. "Your mother...?"

With the truth out there, my heart slowed down. I stretched my legs in front of me, lowering my upper half to stretch my muscles.

"How old were you?" Ryan asked.

"Old enough to remember," I said, straightening up to stretch my arms.

Ryan's face closed off. For the first time since I met him, I couldn't read the emotions on his face.

"What happened to them?" he asked.

"My mother is dead," I said. Now that I began, it was easier to speak. "Her boyfriend, who's Eleanor's father, has been in jail. He just got out. That's why I went to see Eleanor today. She was upset about it."

Ryan put his elbows on his knees, his hands dangling. "So that's why you were off. Did he go to jail because of what he did to you?"

"Among other things." I rose and removed my gloves. "We should go. Jeremy will get out of school soon."

Ryan checked his watch. "Yeah. We should grab a bite somewhere. I'm starving."

He rose, his face opening up when he grinned.

"You're one badass, strong woman," he said. "Remind me to never piss you off."

He walked away, removing the gloves, not knowing that his words made my chest tighten with an unnamed emotion. Even after I shared my past, he did not see me as weak.

Badass, strong woman.

I went to shower and change, thrown off balance by his reaction. I did not share myself with the world for fear of what they would do. Yet here I was, sharing the thing that made me the most vulnerable with Ryan, only to have him say something like that.