Loving the Ice Queen

Chapter 35

Ryan

Walking away from Barbara and Graham was difficult. I wanted to shield her from that bastard's harsh words and careless attitude, but I knew she needed to deal with him on her own.

She was strong enough to deal with Graham and Meryl, she had been dealing with them for years. Still, that didn't mean it was easy to let her do it.

People gave me looks as they lined up in front of the elevator. A few people stopped by to chat, but the hour was late and people were eager to go home, so no one lingered.

Before my pacing could burn a hole through the ground, Barbara stepped out into the hallway, her face a mask of indifference, her back straight and her head held high. She met my eyes, and the ice melted slightly. She looked as she always did, but there was something wrong. I wonder what that asshole said to her.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," she said.

"No worries."

We entered the elevator with a few other guests. I reached for her hand and linked our fingers. Her shoulders relaxed. She gave me a small smile and stepped closer to me, the bruised look in her eyes receding.

We didn't speak again until we were in the car. Cars, shop fronts, ad signs and posters lit up the night in a blinding rainbow.

"One would think it's the middle of the day with how busy the streets are," I mumbled. The traffic was insane. The car advanced at a snail's pace. There must be an accident up ahead.

"This city is always alive," Barbara said, looking out the window. "That's what I like about it. It's easier to realize that you're just a meaningless existence among the masses, that in the grand scheme of things, you don't really matter."

"Yes, you do," I said firmly. "You may not matter to millions of people, but if you matter to one, it should be enough. If you matter to yourself, that's enough."

Barbara shifted in her seat. After a long time, she spoke. "He doesn't even care."

"Graham?"

She nodded. The car rolled forward another inch. "I asked if he regrets it. He looked at me like I was crazy for even considering it. To him, I was just an inconvenience that got tangled in his life. I don't know what I was expecting. It's not like I didn't know what a cruel man he is..."

"It's only natural to be disappointed," I said. "He's your father, someone who's supposed to care. Hell, even a stranger would feel guilty for leaving you with her, knowing what she did to you."

Barbara chuckled. "He said that a kid should stay with their mother. That was his excuse."

My hands tightened around the wheel. I wished I could punch Graham right now.

Then I remembered how I'd been trying to get Miranda in Jeremy's life no matter the price, and I wanted to punch myself.

"All kids deserve mothers, but not all mothers deserve kids," I said. "It's something I'm still trying to come to terms with myself."

Barbara patted my knee. "Miranda isn't like my mother."

I quickly shook my head. "Sorry. This isn't about me. Anyway, how do you feel now? About Graham and everything?"

She shrugged. "He's no longer my father. He's just a stranger to me from now on. I told him to keep Meryl and Billy in check if he doesn't want more scandals, and I think he'll do it. I don't have to worry about them anymore." She leaned her head against the headrest and closed her eyes. "I guess getting out of the company was a good thing after all. I no longer have anything to do with them. I can have a clean break and move on with my life."