Gentle Forest

Chapter 63

What was even more horrifying was that, if that had really been the case, I would have gladly accepted the fact and lived quietly as before. Without expecting to be loved by anyone and unable to love anyone, as if it were natural for nothing to happen.

I sighed heavily, slowly processing the harsh reality. Enduring living apart from Aiden was bearable, but the moment of not receiving his love seemed unbearable. I hoped this absurd pregnancy wouldn't be an insurmountable obstacle between us.

"Okay. I'll go with you..."

"......"

"But you need to be prepared. It's going to be difficult. I can fill in other aspects with effort, but the money-related part might be tough.... So, convince Mister well."

Thinking of the stern-faced Mister, a sudden fear gripped me. At least he had an image of someone not easily provoked.

"...But does he know, does he know about us?"

Aiden detached himself, his face softened. It was somewhat reassuring to meet his gaze with his firm grip on my shoulders.

"He knows I like you. That's why I want to bring you in."

"Then do others knows you're gay too?"

Aiden smiled slightly and whispered

"That's not the issue. I prefer to keep it a secret for a while."

"Why?"

"The football community is conservative.... It's safer not to say anything until I quit."

It wasn't a story I couldn't comprehend. I reluctantly murmured, rolling my eyes to a distant place.

"So, getting me later means he gave permission..."

My voice lost its confidence. Avoiding eye contact, feeling a pang of conscience, Aiden ran his fingers through my hair and added

"Of course. Both you and Uncle are important to my father. But..."

Aiden hesitated, biting his lip. His hand moved towards my hidden belly beneath the hospital gown.

"I can't be sure how he'll react when it comes to the baby."

It was a whole new challenge. Dad, being simple and valuing love above all, accepted the pregnancy calmly, but I couldn't fathom how Mister would react. He might erupt in anger, declare disappointment, or perhaps chillingly suggest erasing the issue before any anger could surface.

"Ah, seriously... so nerve-wracking."

Unintentionally, my shoulders trembled. Despite Aiden confidently claiming he'd handle it, I couldn't shake the feeling that the issue with Mister wasn't something he could manage on his own. I bravely said, "We will handle it together"

"Got it. Don't worry about that."

As the conversation reached this point, the presence of the baby, temporarily set aside, became vivid. With today being Dad's deadline and Aiden now aware of the truth, it was an unavoidable matter. The friction between reason and emotion sometimes made my heart tumultuous. It was a lifetime of hardship.

When things get complicated, simplicity in thinking might be wise. I gazed into Aiden's eyes for a long time, trying to find a solution. Aiden seemed to sense my contemplation and kept his lips sealed. Whether he became a father or just nearly qualified as one, I needed to come to a more mature conclusion than before.

I held onto his hand that rested on my belly, eager to know Aiden's true feelings amidst the complexities surrounding us - such as the fact that we are still young, our same-gender relationship, being pregnant as a man, my lifelong illness, that I am of Korean nationality and Aiden is of American nationality..among other things. Setting aside these complications, I wanted an honest conversation.

I cleared my throat, my voice gentle.

"Aiden, just tell me one thing."

He nodded with a composed expression, his slightly wet eyes shining charmingly. Suddenly, warmth flooded my chest, and I took a deep breath, squeezing his sturdy fingers.

In that moment, memories of the anxious yet buoyant feeling resurfaced. Thump-thump, thump-thump. It even reached the sound of a heartbeat that wasn't mine.

"...How did it feel when you heard the baby's heartbeat?"

Aiden's eyes flickered at the tossed-out words, sensing the gravity they held in determining his response. Despite pondering as much as I did, his eyes remained genuinely clear, devoid of any falsehood.

"...It was good."

Silence hung between us.

In that brief moment of self-reproach, he lowered his gaze, as if scolding himself for the brevity of his thoughts.

I clearly remembered the thick teardrops that flowed uncontrollably from his eyes. Until the adversities we faced stormed in like a tidal wave, Aiden was the one who would love any aspect of me, any part of my life.

Without uttering more words, I held onto Aiden's hand for a while. The ticking of the clock, seemingly indifferent, echoed in the room, resonating with the beating of our two hearts. As Aiden's eyes gradually regained tranquility under the returning shadows, it felt like observing the moment the tidal wave would engulf us.

"Thank you."

I expressed gratitude with an unclear focus. Pulling Aiden close, I buried my face in his shoulder as he gently caressed my back, offering comfort rather than drawing conclusions.

In the midst of exchanging reassurances of love, the door opened with a knock - the time for the injection. Caught off guard, I stiffened like a statue, barely managing to turn my head.

A nurse, who had been leaning against the doorframe, turned pale due to Aiden being half-naked and so close to me. She appeared on the verge of dropping a small metal tray, urgently gripping it with both hands.

"Shall I come back in five minutes?"

"No, no. I'm sorry."

I apologized hurriedly.

Without anyone specifying who should speak first, words stumbled out. I didn't have any particular thoughts at that moment, but Aiden seemed to think that revealing his body to someone other than me would upset me.

When I saw him shamelessly withdrawing and wearing only outerwear over his bare torso, it was even more strange and made me dizzy.

The nurse, coughing awkwardly, approached me. She gave Aiden a stern look as he tried to fold the hospital gown, swiftly rolling up the sleeves. Aiden, with bruised hands from the IV line, glanced down at them with a shaky gaze.

"Please don't hurt him..."

His casually uttered words made me feel like the stubborn kid about to get a vaccination shot. The nurse nodded with a puzzled expression.