dear love I hate you

5. chapter

Theodore wasn't lying. Mattheo looks like he's having the time of his life - note the sarcasm.

I wonder why he came back. No, scratch that - I wonder why he fled at the sight of me. As far as I know, I'm not the one who threw paint-filled balloons at him when we were kids. And I haven't slaughtered his entire family with an ax, so I'd really appreciate it if he'd tone down his hostility a bit.

“Still here?” he groans when he sees me.

"Still a cocky asshole?" I shoot back.

I actually expect him to go one better with his nasty comments. So you can imagine my surprise when a small smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. His blue eyes study my face for a moment too long, and I squirm under his undivided attention.

Why, oh why, does he have to look like that?

Strangely, I have the feeling that he has never took time to really look at me before. Yes, he sees me every day at school. Sees my face in the crowd. Sees me at lunch somewhere among all the others sat at the table.

But did he ever see me before?

No.

Not like this.

Not like he’s discovering something new.

He seems like he’s debating on whether this “new” thing is good or bad. When his half-grin evolves into a full-blown smirk, I know he made up his mind, but I don’t have the means to translate the verdict in his eyes.

“What did you say your name was again?” He squints, an indicator of some serious brain racking.

My blood starts boiling.

The asshole took my first kiss and he can’t even place me!

“Freya?” I say, hoping it will ring a bell.
He continues to assess me as though he can’t quite put his finger on it.

“I know you, don’t I?"

I scoff out a laugh.

Is this guy for real?

“We go to the same school? Not to mention that we hang out with the same people every day?”

He shakes his head. “No, that’s not it. I know you from somewhere. That’s what you meant earlier, right?” I chastise myself for opening my big mouth. I should’ve let it go.

“You said you remembered me as a bully,” he clarifies. “Did we use to hang out or something?”

I consider denying it out of self-respect. I can’t lie, I’m a tad offended that he didn’t connect the dots sooner. I get that we were eight, but even
Theo brought it up once. If Theodore Nott the biggest airhead I know, not to
mention a guy who, unlike Mattheo, didn’t steal my first kiss, remembers me, why the hell can’t he?

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I spin to leave.

“No fucking way.” It clicks in his mind. “Little sunny?”

Here it is.

“You’re that girl Theo and I used to…” He doesn’t complete his sentence, but I know all too well what he was going to say.

"Annoy? Tease? Torture? Why, yes, that would be me. Did you seriously just figure that out? A bit slow, are we?” I snark.

My outburst only seems to amuse him.

“Look, in my defense, your mom only ever called you ‘sunshine'. And it was ten years ago. I can’t even remember what I had for dinner last night.”

“Whatever.” I shrug.

“Shit, I’ve got to say, sunny.” He gives me a once-over. “Puberty did you a solid.”

My cheeks combust.

“Wish I could say the same about you,” I lie through my teeth.

Mattheo smiles at my failed attempt to deny the undeniable. Let’s not pretend like puberty didn’t do every female on earth a solid when Mattheo Riddle went from “cute” to “sinfully hot” in the span of a summer.

“I think you mispronounced thank you.” He flashes a smug grin that makes me want to knee him where it hurts.

And yet… my heart beats a bit faster when he proceeds toward me. He’s intimidating, and in the most annoying way. The “unintentional” way.

He’s not even trying to get to me. He just has this presence to him, this charisma that’s hard to ignore. I wish I didn’t notice how tall he is, how bright his eyes are. I wish I didn’t see the kid I used to know.

“Surprised you remember what I looked like then. You know, Alzheimer’s and all,” I fire back.

"Aw, are you offended that I didn’t remember you, Little sunny?” he teases, and it irks me.

Because he’s right.

It shouldn’t bother me, but it does. I never let myself admit it, but I think “Little sunny” might’ve developed an itty-bitty crush on the blue-eyed boy who kissed her under the slide that day. How unfortunate that said boy
grew up to be a conceited tool.

Theodore, Pans, Enzo, and Daphne all come tumbling into the kitchen before I can answer.

“Told you I heard him,” Enzo tells Theodore.

“Matt, you’re back.” Theodore states the obvious.

“Thanks, Einstein.” Enzo snorts, and Theodore elbows him in the stomach.

“Where’d you go earlier, man?” Theodore snakes his arm around Pansy's neck
to draw her closer.

“Got detention on Sundays now, dipshit. I told you yesterday,” Mattheo explains. “I remembered they started tonight right after I got here.”

That explains it.

“Right. I’m sorry, man. For… everything.” Theodore's voice is dripping with guilt.

I’m guessing his mother, the headmaster, went twice as hard on Mattheo for claiming to be the only brain behind the stink bomb operation. Mattheo might as well pack his shit and move into the detention room now. Fat chance he won't be spending his time anywhere else this month.

“I didn’t even know weekend detentions were a thing.” Enzo crinkles his nose.

“Yeah, well… you also didn’t know condoms were a thing. Isn’t that right, Daphne?” Mattheo says with a shit-eating grin.

Everybody laughs, minus Daphen and Enzo. It’s practically common knowledge that Enzo and Daphne had a pregnancy scare a while back.

“Go fuck yourself with a cactus, good sir” Enzo deadpans.

Word is, these two were actively sleeping together all of 5th year. Until Daphne found out she was late. It was a false alarm, but real enough for Enzo to end it. He must’ve been scared shitless to dump his side piece
altogether. It’s no secret that Daphne has been hoping to pick up where they left off ever since. She’s been obsessed with Enzo since the third year. If only he still wanted her when the sun comes up.

The remainder of the evening is fun—I know, crazy, right?
We laugh, play more pool, and while he doesn’t say another word to me all night, Mattheo doesn’t seem to completely loathe my existence.

Baby steps.

Pansy hugs me tight when I call it a night shortly after ten.

“I’m so glad you gave…” Hiccup. “Gave them a chance,” she slurs in my ear, her speech a bit jumbled from all the vodka sodas she’s had, and I play along. But don’t think I believe we’ll all be one big happy family from now on.

I know, come Monday, I’ll go back to keeping quiet at lunch, and they’ll go back to being Hogwarts royalty. I’ll pick up a shift at the library while Mattheo, Enzo, and Theodore pick up one at quidditch.

Tomorrow, everything will go back to normal.

Tomorrow, I’ll get to burn the letter that could ruin my life…

Assuming someone else doesn’t find it first...

I'm sorry it's a lil short but anyway: New chapter, give feedback <3