Map of the Soul 7 Saga Book 3 - Home

Home Chapter 15

I wake up, my vision blurry. Slowly, familiar faces come into focus: Jimin, J-Hope, Jin, Namjoon, Tae, Yoongi, and Holden. JK's holding my hand beside me. I try to sit up, but everyone stops me.

"Whoa there, slow down," Namjoon says gently. "Take it easy."

Yoongi adds, "Hey there, try to stay calm. You have a broken rib and a sprained ankle."

Tae, J-Hope, and Jimin chime in together, "Lay down."

Jin jokes, "Hey STOB it. Stay put."

JK's voice is full of relief and guilt. "Babe, you're awake. I was really worried and I'm sorry."

Holden yells happily, "Mommy!"

I'm overwhelmed, seeing BTS around me. Part of me wonders if this is real. "Is this real?" I ask, my voice shaky.

JK chuckles softly. Yoongi jokes, "No, it's us; you know, BTS?" Everyone laughs.

Tae rolls his eyes. "What's with all the old jokes? They're not funny anymore."

I feel a wave of disappointment. This isn't how I wanted to meet them. I try to hide my frustration, not wanting to upset anyone. "I saw you briefly at BigHit, but I never got to meet you properly. This isn't how I hoped things would go."

JK squeezes my hand. "It's okay, babe, it's not your fault."

Jimin giggles, "You usually call me babe." Jin joins in laughing.

JK gives them a warning look.

Namjoon intervenes, "Cut it out guys. We're just relieved you're okay. Let's give her some space." He ushers the others out, leaving JK and Holden with me.

Taehyung calls out, "Happy you're okay?"

J-Hope winks before leaving.

Pain shoots through my ribs. JK gently touches my face, worry in his eyes. "Stay still, Ria. You've broken your ribs, but aside from a few cuts and bruises, you'll be okay."

Holden carefully climbs onto the bed. I kiss him, tears forming. "My baby. I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" I'm trying to be strong, but inside, I'm terrified of what he might have gone through.

---

The doctor assured me Holden was fine and then examined me. He says I'll recover but need to stay in the hospital. I notice the beautiful private room filled with flowers. I thank the doctor, hiding how overwhelmed I feel.

Rachael arrives with Hudson and offers to care for Holden. I smile, grateful but guilty for needing help. "Thank you, Rachael."

After they leave, I finally ask JK the question that's been haunting me. "What happened? Where is Won Sang?" My voice trembles, betraying my fear despite my efforts to seem calm.

JK explains that Won Sang is in jail, guarded. "You are safe now," he says, tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry," he adds softly.

I wipe his tears away, my heart aching. I want to tell him how scared I was, how much I'm still struggling, but I can't find the words. Instead, I focus on comforting him, pushing my fears aside. It's easier to be strong for others than to face my trauma.

As I tenderly brushed his hair away from his face, I leaned in and softly asked, "JK, what are you sorry for?"

"I failed to protect you and Holden, and I'm so sorry. This is all my fault," he said between sobs, his voice filled with regret and anguish.

"JK," I say softly I'm okay, really." I lie; I can feel the anxiety in my bones. 

JK starts to cry even harder. I pat his head as he lays it on my bed. He looks up at me with those big, doe eyes full of tears, his face red and looking like a baby.

 I chuckle at what he looks like. He sniffs, tears still spilling out of his cute eyes. "You're so cute," I say, touching his face and wiping his tears.

"I am not cute," he says with a pout, his lower lip protruding in a playful expression.

As I chuckled, a sharp pang of pain shot through me, causing me to wince. "Ouch," I uttered, pleading not to make me laugh.

JK stands up, half in a panic. "I'm sorry," he says and then sits back down. I smile at him, and he smiles back. We both let out a little chuckle. 

"What am I going to do with you, hmm?" I scold him. "How dare you be so cute."

 "Stop it," he whined, but a smile tugged at the corners of his lips, betraying his true feelings.

Then I look at JK and take a deep breath, "Okay," I say with a serious voice.  He looks at me with a curious bunny-like expression, wondering what I will say next. "Thank you, thank you for coming for me and saving me. I'll never forget it, and I am so glad to be safe and home," I say with reassurance in my voice. Even though my fears scream on the inside, I want to make JK feel better.

"Sorry, but you're not home," he said as he looked around the hospital, clearly confused by his surroundings.

I touch his face and bring our foreheads together. "You are my home," I say. He melts into me and kisses my lips.

"Noona, you belong to me as well. I cherish you deeply, and I never want to be without you. Please promise me that you'll never leave."

As I leaned in, our lips met in a gentle, lingering kiss. "Never," I whispered softly, looking into his eyes.

---

I feel like I'm always pretending. Around JK and the family, I act like everything's okay. But inside, I'm hurting so much. Every night, scary dreams come back. They take me to the hospital again. I shake all over, just like I did in that awful place with her. I can't even say her name without my whole body trembling.

The worst dreams are about losing Holden. In my sleep, I can't find him anywhere. I wake up screaming, which scares both JK and me. I remember how terrifying that first night at the hospital was. Even though I'm falling apart inside, I try to look strong on the outside. I don't want JK to worry more than he already does.

Poor little Holden had such a hard time, too. He couldn't sleep at Rachael and Yoongie's house. That first night I was in the hospital, he'd scream every time Rachael left the room. It broke my heart. Rachael even slept in the kids' room to try to calm him down, but he cried for me all night long. We were both so shaken up. I didn't realize then how much this would affect us. Now I see we have a long, tough road ahead.

The pain in my chest feels so heavy sometimes. I want to cry, to scream, to let it all out. But I hold it in, trying to be strong for everyone else. It's exhausting, always keeping this mask on. I wish I could just be honest about how scared and hurt I feel. But I fear what might happen if I let my guard down.