la douleur exquise 'exquisite pain'

am i a shitty person?

late nights driving in my car
with you, of course
music is blasting
i am speeding,
not dangerously
but enough to feel something
everything is perfect
i'd do anything to bottle this moment up
to open and relive it as i please

but then you grow quiet
face glued to your screen
our conversations halt
sing-alongs abruptly stop
i look over your shoulder
knowing what you're doing
dreading the feeling i'll soon get if i'm correct
i always am

you're texting her
her
and right then and there
i wish she'd drop dead