Undo

𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙽𝙴𝚂𝙸𝚂

~ JANUARY TWENTY-THIRTY TWO

~ INSIDE THE NATIONAL HEROES BURIAL GROUNDS

"Now I know how it feels, Ed."

I said as I stared at Ariel's grave. I closed the national cemetery for almost four hours. I buried her beside her father's grave. At least, that's what I think she'd like. I never asked her. I had all the chance to but I didn't even answer her final words...

"I don't know if you can hear me. I don't believe in afterlife. But if it exists and if you're here with me now. This is for you."

I planted a sunflower on her grave. My response to her final message to me.

As I buried the sunflower. I buried along every possibility of us. Every life we could have. Every meal we could be sharing together. Every day we could be in love.

I thought I dried all my tears but it turns out I had more for her. My tears watered the seed I planted. I killed her and everyone dear to me.

At that point, I was pretty convinced that 𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘮.

I never thought it would all end the way it did. I thought I was smart enough to have seen everything thoroughly. But in the end, I barely survived the catastrophe I created myself.

The world almost underwent another reset. Countless lives perished by Ed's anger towards me. Despite knowing this truth, the world never puts the blame on me. They continued to believe in my cause; to maintain a peaceful world for everyone.

But I didn't.

I refused to once again lead the NEA. I gave the leadership to the president of the Republic of the Philippines.

I never rebuilt the Hive.
I stopped inventing and innovating life.
I lost all sense of direction inside.
I hid from everyone before hibernating Cass.
The world looked for me but I didn't want it to find me.

I was ashamed.
I caused scars that were too permanent to billions of lives including mine. I hated myself. I paid too much of the price just to satisfy my guilt. I kicked myself into a life of self-incrimination.

Like a leaf falling from a tree branch, I rode life's uncertainty. I froze all my assets. I travelled to random places. I lived as a commoner living from paycheck to paycheck just waiting for my death.

Until one rainy night...

I had a long day at work and decided to watch shows while drinking beers. Since Cass was hibernated, I had to scroll inside my mind and do it myself. While I was scrolling I bumped into a news channel...

𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴: 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘕𝘌𝘈 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘞𝘞4.

"What??" I scrolled back since I'm not sure if I read that right.

"What the f--"

After all the things I've done to preserve peace and stability. They're at it again. They never learn. I couldn't believe I had it all wrong from the beginning. I can't believe I lost everything for nothing.

"I'M SICK OF ALL THESE!" I yelled inside my tiny apartment. Alone.

I was on my 16th bottle of beer.

"WHY CAN I JUST DIE!? WHY THE HELL AM I STILL ALIVE!? WHAT'S YOUR PLAN!? TELL ME!!" I yelled staring at the ceiling as if I was talking to him.

An awkward silence transpired...

"You know what? If you can't do it, then I will. You hear me?? I will!" I was still talking to the ceiling.