My Other Half

Not good enough

3 weeks later

I walk through the doors of the coven, feeling uneasy despite the aura surrounding me. I check the time seeing I'm right on schedule and I head to my classroom. I sigh as I set down my things, closing my eyes and relying on my palms pressed against the desk to hold me up. I do my best to fight the thoughts trying to invade the bubble I've created for myself; a weak method of protection.

I've somehow managed to avoid the supreme these past few weeks, though I don't think she's exactly been looking for me either. I have caught her trying to break through the walls and enter my mind but I'm much stronger now; I suppose pain will do that to you. Yet in other ways I feel much weaker, as if I'm not even myself anymore.

I was never such a cold person but things change. It's either I protect myself and hurt others or I leave myself vulnerable again and still end up causing those I love pain. I can tell it hurts Billie to see me struggle and I know she wishes I would just open up but that will hurt her too. So I'm left to decide between the 'best' of two evils.

The girls come in, taking their seats and staying quiet. I'm sure they know by now that Cordelia and I aren't together anymore; they're never this well-behaved. The whole day goes by like that, minimal chatter and secretive whispers. The last class of that day is when things switch up a bit. As the other students are leaving, one in particular hangs behind.

"Hey, Lia... can we talk?" Madison asks and I nod, gesturing for her to take a seat at a desk in the front. "What's up?" I prompt after I see she's lost in her thoughts, "I know you and Cordelia broke up—well... everyone knows" she blurts out and I nod. "And... I know I'm not really the 'checking in' type but—how are you?" she asks and I sigh deeply as I think about how to answer her question.

How am I? I don't even know. "I'm... managing. It's difficult" I answer and she nods thoughtfully. "Well, if you need to talk, I'm here. Don't tell anyone else I said that though" she scoffs as she stands up, "thanks, Maddie" I chuckle softly. "And one more thing. I don't know what happened between you two and it's not my business but... whatever it was... she really is sorry" she mumbles and I show her a tight-lipped smile, nodding once to let her know I heard.

She leaves and I take a second to gather myself as well as my things before heading for the door. Just before I reach it, the blonde appears in front of me. My eyes widen in shock and I blink a few times as I really acknowledge her standing before me. Silence lingers between us and I presume she expects me to speak first but I remain silent.

"It's been weeks. Are you just never going to speak to me again?" she asks softly, her eyes glazed with unshed tears that only increase as I refuse to answer her. "Can you at least tell me where you've been going? I just... I wanna know you're safe" she mutters, "that's none of your business" I state coldly. She flinches at my tone but swiftly pulls herself together.

"Ba- Natalia please!" she begs with tears brimming her eyes and I just look away from her. "Why did you do it?" I whisper, not being able to hold my curiosity any longer. "W-what?" she stutters out, I raise my head to meet her eyes and take a deep breath. "Don't act dumb. Why... did you do it? Why didn't you tell me? Why did you give up?" I ask as I get progressively more agitated by her presence.

"Baby I didn't... I... I don't know why. I wasn't thinking—I regret it—I-I'm sorry" her voice gets quieter as she carries on and I shake my head with a scoff. "Sorry isn't good enough. I need a reason" I demand and she huffs in frustration. "What do you want me to say? That I wasn't happy? I was. That I—that I didn't love you? I did... I do-" "not enough it seems" I whisper before transmutating to Billie's house, having had enough of the conversation.