Fall In Love Again

When Her World Turned Gray

Prologue

The day Daniel died, Jihyo had been out shopping for groceries. It was just another ordinary day for the married couple. She'd made them breakfast then sent her husband on his way to work with a kiss. After taking care of household chores, she'd gotten some work done on her laptop then stopped to go out and buy groceries.

Her best friend Jeongyeon was bringing over her new girlfriend to introduce to the couple, so Jihyo had promised to cook them her famous spicy pork belly stew.

Jihyo had just finished picking out the last of her ingredients when her phone rang. Her heart sank when she saw the name of the local police station displayed on her screen. Even before she'd said hello, she had known.

Daniel was gone and she was suddenly a widow at the young age of twenty six.

That day was a blur for her. She didn't even remember how she made it home from the grocery store. One minute she was standing in the aisle crying her eyes out, and the next she was back at their apartment with her head in Jeongyeon's lap. She still can't remember calling her best friend and telling her the news.

That was the first time she met Jeongyeon's girlfriend Nayeon. The woman had taken charge and started making phone calls, informing friends and family of Daniel's passing on Jihyo's behalf, stopping every now and then to check on Jihyo or ask her girlfriend a question about what to do next.

If it weren't for Nayeon and Jeongyeon, Jihyo might have given up that day and followed after Daniel.

People came and went inside the apartment over the following days, bringing food and drinks, flower arrangements she didn't know what to do with, and sympathy cards that her mother read to her after the guests had left. The cards just made Jihyo fall deeper into her grief, reminding her that her husband was never coming back.

The hardest part though came after everything was over. The funeral was finished and everyone had to leave and go back to their own lives. Daniel's parents promised to keep in touch, but Jihyo wasn't sure if she could handle hearing his mother cry again or see the devastation on his father's face.

Her parents had wanted to stay with her, but she had politely declined. She needed to be able to sit alone with her grief and mourn her loss privately, something she had yet to do because of all the people that had been in the house. Jeongyeon promised them she and Nayeon would look after her, and that was enough to reassure her parents it was okay to leave, even if they were still reluctant.

Jeongyeon fretted and asked her a dozen times if she'd be okay by herself, telling her to call if she needed anything, no matter what time it was. Nayeon had to convince her to leave. Before they left, Nayeon gave her a hug and had whispered, "Cry as much as you want. Don't hold it in. Call if you need us."

When the door clicked shut and she was finally alone, Jihyo slowly made her way to her and Daniel's bedroom and rifled through their closet until she found her husband's favorite sweatshirt. She brought the faded black fabric to her nose and breathed in deeply, allowing the familiar scent of him to wash over her. That's the moment it finally hit her.

Daniel was dead.

Jihyo sobbed and wailed for what felt like hours as she stood in their bedroom, mourning him and the future that could never be. All their plans would be left unfulfilled. They'd never buy that house they'd talked about or take those trips abroad like they'd planned. She'd never be able to have his children and that cut deeper than anything else.

Jihyo had envisioned them growing old together and one day having grandchildren to spoil. Now she'd never know that joy. Death had robbed her of the family she wanted before she even had the chance to try.

As time passed, Jihyo learned to live without Daniel, but it wasn't easy. Anyone that's ever lost a loved one could tell you how hard it is to keep going. Her days blended together, every one the same as she walked around in a fog of grief struggling to find herself again.

She had always been a happy person, quick to tell a joke or go out to enjoy a party, but now she found herself laughing less after Daniel's passing. Jokes seemed humorless and going out felt like a chore. That didn't stop Jeongyeon from forcing her to get out of the house though. She dragged Jihyo along with her on errands or made her come to lunch with her and Nayeon.

One night, the couple had invited her over for dinner. While Jeongyeon was busy in the kitchen making braised chicken, she and Nayeon had sat in the living room and enjoyed some wine together. They had been silently enjoying each other's company when Nayeon broke the silence.

"Jihyo, have you thought about therapy?"

Jihyo hadn't really considered it before. She'd thought she could handle this on her own and just get through it. But she wasn't getting any better. She still cried every night and didn't feel like herself at all. Maybe talking to someone was a good idea.

She left Jeongyeon's place that night with a full stomach and the number to a therapist specializing in grief that Nayeon had slipped into her coat pocket.

Jihyo didn't know it then, but it was the start of a change for the better.