Dear Diary

Buttercup

Dear Diary,

Here's what happened today. Also, Trigger warning for Self-harm.

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Second period is my favorite because that one has Levi in it. It might be the unbearable math, but Levi makes it worth it.

I'm one of the first five kids to get there and I immediately take a seat in the back next to the window. This seat has the best perks to it, easy access to a window to look out of when class gets boring, and it's in the back, so the teacher tends to not call on me.

About three minutes later, and the class is full. I look around and don't see Andrés. Guess he has a different schedule. I divert my attention to look for Levi, soon finding him sitting just one desk away from mine. Second semester's gonna be good. I pull out my math binder, or I would have if I actually had it. I soon realize when I reach into my backpack that I only got my Social Studies textbook from my locker. Perfect. I reach behind the table in between us and tap his shoulder.

He looks at me, those blue eyes filled with curiosity. 'Bout time you give me attention. "Hey, can I get a paper? I accidentally left my binder in my locker." I grin innocently, trying to seem like those schoolgirls in movies who want to ask their crush out. Well, it's not completely off. the only difference is that I'm not a girl.

He nods and rips a paper from his notebook. "Yeah, sure." He hands me the paper and I place it on my desk. He laughs shortly, "First day back and you're already forgetting things?"

I laugh too as I shrug. "It's not like I needed my math binder to open Christmas gifts."

We both snicker together, and that's when Mrs. Adams got to the classroom. One thing to know about her is that she wants absolute silence in the first five minutes of class. Which, we were definitely not doing.

Of course, she just just had to call us out. "Uhm, excuse me, boys, what is it that I'm hearing right now?"

Levi groaned in time with me, both of us probably equally annoyed. "Sorry." I mumbled out while shifting to sit normally in my seat again.

Her crusty lips decided to speak again. "It's sorry, Ma'am." And suddenly I have the urge to punch her. Not the same violent urge I get when it's my mom I want to hit, but still, I felt the anger rising. The flowing anger felt similar to the red color flowing to my face from embarrassment. God, since when did these creepy elders get so entitled? Get away from me is always the first thought I get around these types of people. Not every word I have the audacity to utter is going to be respectful, or does her old mind not understand that? Do I need to say it slowly?

I bite the inside of my cheek like I bit back my words. "Sorry, Ma'am." Levi said with a charming, yet innocent smile. It was such a good act. The second that the Victorian woman turned away, he looked at me with a face of, can you believe this ancient relic? I obviously gave the same look back. It was a miracle how well me and this boy clicked. He was a simple and handsome looking puzzle piece, and I was a cut up sheet of painted cardboard, yet we managed to fit together perfectly despite my jagged edges.

Class went on as I had expected, boring lectures and Mrs. Adams randomly yelling at the kids in the back. I was supposed to be looking at the board, but that period was filled with one too many glances at him. God Ellis! You were meant to be his friend, not become literally obsessed with the poor boy! At least I have hope to not tell him that I'm crazy for him.

I leaned to the side and tapped on Levi's shoulder. "Hey, wanna hang out sometime?" It took complete concentration to control every muscle and blood vessel in my face to not start blushing like a maniac. And his iconic grin was making this very difficult for me.