I get back home high out to of my mind what the fuck did that guy give me I say to myself. "So you thought you could pull that little stunt with ur brother and get away with it" I turn to see my mom cutting something in the kitchen. "Hes not my fucking brother" I say slamming my door, I hear footsteps coming to my room "YOU FUCKING SLUT BOB COULD OF KICKED US OUT, ur just like ur fucking dad u dont give a shit about anyone but yourself, pathetic bitch" and with that she left. its best for me to stay nothing in these situations.
She'll do anything for me to have a reaction but she wont ever get one, not from me, ever. I go to put my bag away and I see my guitar broken "fuck" I say under my breath. I paid for that shit with my own fucking money I got a summer job for that fucking thing. I grab whats left my guitar and look at it with sadness witch then turnt to anger real quick I start smashing my wall over and over again leaving a big ass whole in my room. I walk out of my room to see my mom in the living room looking satisfied with my reaction. "IS THIS WHAT U FUCKING WANT CUNT, YOU WANT TO SEE ME FUCKING LASH OUT YOU FUCKING CRACK WHORE" she walks towards me "think twice before messing with your brother or Bob again, and im not fixing whatever you did to ur room you fucking phyco, you belong in a fucking mental hospital" and with that she walks away to her and Bobs bedroom. I start punching the wall next to me to direct my anger to something. I puch the wall over and over and over again until I loose feeling in my knuckles when I stop I look down at my knuckles they were bruised and blood was dripping from them. I stare at the blood for a few seconds until I slide down the wall sitting down slowly.
She doesn't care about anyone but herself I thought, not even her own fucking kids. She didnt shed a fucking tear when my brother killed himself. I look back at that moment almost everyday, I was 12 years old and my brother was 16 he would take care of me while my mom was out on the street selling her body. One day he randomly came up to me asking me for a hug I was confused but I agreed and he hugged me, his eyes looked tired and sad. I asked if he was good and he told me not to worry about it after saying I love u. Two days later he ran away for a few days and I would spend hours looking for him. Mom didnt even care he was gone, she said "one less mouth to feed". Until she needed him because CPS was gonna do there weekly check on us. Me and my mom drove around and I was hopful thinking we could actually find him and he could be home finally. We looked for a few hours until we stopped at an abandoned school, mom told me to go look and make it quick when I broke in I saw his lifeless body hanging from the ceiling. After that i blacked out and I was sitting in front of a policeman questioning my mom while she put on a whole ass show, crocodile tears and everything. After that nothing felt real, I didnt feel real. How could the universe take something so special to me, my life's already a fucking shit whole. Was the universe just targeting me at this point. Thats when I realized there's no bad or good karma. Shit, if I help an old lady cross the street the universe wont make my life better. For a year every time I closed my eyes all I saw was his lifeless body. After that I just stoped trying at life, I mean whats the fucking point.
Im a terrible person and im fine with it. For fucks sake I haven't visited my brothers grave in like 2 years. I haven't cried in as long as I can remember. I physically cant, all my sadness just turns to anger. My mom put me in therapy so that it would make her look good to others. When I was there I refused to talk. What was there to explain my brother was dead and thats it. Thats when i picked up some hobbies to distract me from my grief. Skating caught my eye and I loved it.
I open my eyes forgetting my I was in the kitchen. My stepbrother was standing in front of me with a shit eating grin, wtf does he want. "Think twice before u fuck with me slut" and with that I tackled his ass "WTF YOU JUS CALL ME NIGGA" I started punching him over and over again. He tried to fight me off him but I had him in a chokehold. He got a few good punches in. He started gasping for air and I let him go and went into my room. He was left with a broken nose and bruises all over his face with a swollen eye. I looked in the mirror and all I had was a black eye and a cut on my lip. I grabbed a cigg and a lighter and finally started to relax.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
