You're Mine

PARALYSIS

––––––– ??? DAYS LATER –––––––

I'm so angry, yet what am I meant to do?

My body cannot move. A stranger is in my house pretending to be Zhongli. I now have an IV drip in my arm, and this stranger drugs me everyday. They're experienced. I don't know what drug it is. They have enough to paralyse my body yet keep my mind awake. I can't sleep. They're doing this on purpose. I know it's not Zhongli. In fact, I'm almost certain. The speed and weight of their footsteps are different. Whenever they lean over me and check if I'm breathing, their hair doesn't drape over me. I miss Zhongli. I know he's still here. I told him he could leave, yet I can hear him coming into the room everyday. He doesn't sit next to me. He just stands in the corner for around 10 minutes then leaves. And everyday, I expect him not to come back but he does, and I don't know what to make of it.

I've been laying here for about a week, probably longer. I have no sense of time. A week just feels right. I've been spending my time despite my weak state of mind trying to figure out what it is that I've been drugged with. It's even more exhausting trying to move my body, but I have no control over it. I've forgotten what outside looks like. I've forgotten what it feels like to be full. I'm slowly going crazy. Maybe I already am.

I can hear voices. Not in my head, I mean actual voices. Calls, to be more specific. I can barely make out what they're saying with how hazy my mind is, but a word is always familiar. 'Pierro'. Another member of the Harbingers. I don't know who is talking to him. It might be Zhongli, or it might be the other person. My hearing is muffled, too. The only sense of mine that has heightened is my sense of touch, but even then, I'm unable to tell what I'm feeling even though I can feel it. I want my consciousness back. How did things get to this point? I shouldn't have let my guard down.

During this time of paralysis, I'm doing a lot of thinking.

I'm realising that someone had been planning something like this since the beginning, but I was too blinded by anger and murderous rage to see it. I'm realising that even though it was probably Zhongli, I still feel for him. No matter what I do, I can't hate him the way he hates me, and I despise myself for it. I want to hate him, I really do. I know that it's my love that got me here. I know that it's my love that made me this desperate. And it's my love that's going to make me continue to act in this way. I want to punch someone. I need to exert my frustration. I need to hurt someone. I need to kill someone.

But still, I'm so angry, yet what am I meant to do?

After what seems like an eternity, I am finally able to open my eyes and see. I can twitch my fingertips and wiggle my toes. I can raise my eyebrows. I'm getting my body back. I don't know how long it's been, but what I do know is that they didn't drug me when they usually do. But I'm scared. What if I'm addicted? What will I do? I'll be forced to stay under the influence whether I like it or not. I'm terrified. But I need to see who it is that's doing this to me. At this point, I'm desperate. I can't keep living like this. I barely feel alive anymore. All I can feel is my heart beat getting faster and faster. It feels like it's going to explode. It sounds like bombs exploding in my ears, and I swear I feel something drip out of them. I'm going to die. I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die

And yet, what am I meant to do?

[??? POV]

I've always known that I'm a little too smart for my own good. Perhaps it doesn't help that have resources worth millions at my disposal, and a volunteer so desperate for freedom that he would do anything. Begging me to drug a man. On his knees, telling me I could have everything he could give. It's pathetic.

But I suppose, that's the disadvantage of being a doctor, isn't it?

Knowing exactly how to make somebody succumb.

Another syringe, into poor Ajax's arm it goes, while little Zhongli stares and watches. He's waiting for me. Waiting for me to finish up here so that the clueless little bitch can make me dinner.

Knowledge is a gift and a curse. Knowledge traps me in jobs like these, constantly nursing patients and keeping them down. But it gets me an obedient little dog, without a thought behind its skull other than me.

"Zhongli," I say, clicking my tongue to get his attention, "Go and make me some dinner, hm? Make it nice. Make my favourite. Then go and wait for me on the bed."

He doesn't say a word before he leaves the room, going down to start on the dinner straight away like a good little boy. I trained him well.

I can't wait to see the look on Ajax's face.