JJ Maybank Imagines

Imagine 13 ~ Anxious

Prompt: You've been feeling so anxious lately and Jj helps you through it 

Warnings: anxiety, negative self talk, slight swearing

Hey, before this starts I just wanted you to know that if you're ever going through something like this that you are not alone and reach out for help if you ever need it! 

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Y/n Pov:

I don't know what it is, but for the past little while I've been feeling so anxious. And the most frustrating part is that I don't even know why. My life is going great right now and I don't have anything to be anxious about, but I'm so anxious it's making me lose sleep and is causing me to overthink everything. This is so frustrating for me because my life is the best it's ever been, but my brain won't let me enjoy it. I keep getting these anxious thoughts and feelings preventing me from doing so many things and is causing me to not act like myself. 

I haven't told Jj because I don't want to burden him with my problems. Everyone has been doing so well and we've been having a great summer and I don't want to ruin it by talking about my feelings. So I push it down and let it eat at me because I'd rather suffer in silence, than to have someone worrying about me. I hate it when people worry about me because there are other issues way more important than my stupid anxiety.  

It's currently eight in the morning and I'm pretty sure I got no sleep last night. I tossed and turned and every time I tried to fall asleep I just couldn't shake of this anxiety. And it's getting worse because the less sleep I get, the more anxious I get, but it's hard to get sleep when my anxiety is holding me back from getting a normal amount of sleep. I think over the past three days I've gotten maybe five hours of sleep, and not even a deep sleep and the tiredness is starting to catch up with me. 

I've finally given up on trying to fall asleep and reach for my phone to do some scrolling, because it's too early for any of the Pogues to be awake. So I sit here, mindlessly scrolling through Tik Tok and Instagram, trying to ignore the butterflies in my tummy. 

After a while of rotting in my bed, I decide to get up and get ready for the day, hoping a shower and some makeup will make this sinking feeling go away. I go into my bathroom and turn the shower on super hot, turn some music on and hop in. Once I'm as clean as I'm going to get, I get out and wrap a towel around my hair and one around my body. I go to the sink to brush my teeth and do my skincare. Once thats done I take my hair out of the towel and throw it up in a claw clip because I don't have the energy to deal with it today, so this is just going to have to work. 

I then sit at my vanity and throw some makeup on, trying to make myself look and feel better. This anxiety is causing me to feel very insecure about myself, which is unusual because usually I'm pretty confident and haven't felt this low about my appearance in so long. As I stare in the mirror at myself, I start to cry softly at first, which then turns into sobs because I'm just so tired of feeling like this all of the time. After a while, I take a deep breath and wipe my tears, continuing on my makeup. 

I then head to my closet to pick out my outfit. I honestly don't feel like trying too hard today. I'm stand in front of my mirror in my underwear just thinking of what I want to wear today. I usually chose something on the cuter side, but I'm not feeling like myself and just want to cover myself up. So that is exactly what I do. I was thinking I want to wear just sweats, but I also don't want anyone to be suspicious, so I choose an oversized sweater and some oversized jeans.

This is the outfit I'm imagining (feel free to imagine what you'd like):