"I hope my absence haunts you" - Revenge: The Sixth Stage of Grief

Heartbroken and hated once again for what seems to be the umpteenth time. When will I ever have my happy ending?

First Stage - Denial:

As they left me, I can't help but wonder where did I ever go wrong. What am I lacking in? Am I not attractive enough? Am I not smart enough? Am I not loving enough? Where in the world could it have gone wrong?

I cry myself to sleep night after night, blaming myself for something I could've prevented if I was only good enough for them. I watch them as they smile the next day and ignore my presence as if we never had something.

Please tell me this isn't real, I love them wholeheartedly! I can't do this, I can't accept this. There has to be a way to fix this, right? No, no, please no. This can't be happening, not when I finally opened up to them fully to love them.

Gosh, please don't do this to me. Why must our fate be like this? This is unacceptable. We were perfect for each other....were perfect for each other...

Oh, how love is such a wonderful feeling but how can it be so cruel?

Second Stage - Anger:

Whatever. They lost me anyway. It's their loss, not mine. If I could've lived just fine before I met them, then I can do it again. It's not like they're the oxygen I need to breathe. Just forget about them, easy as that.

Why did they even decide to end things with me anyway? I have the qualities they're looking for so why lose me and not fight for me? After everything I did for them, is this how they repay me? How dare they do such a thing! I gave them nothing but my love and affection and they bring me this? Outrageous I say!

How infuriating, not long after our separation, they're already looking for another to love and care for them. Ha, so they just wanted to replace me, how ungrateful of them. I treated them as if they were the most precious thing that ever came to my life yet all they've ever done is make me feel hopeless and guilty of not being enough for them. Turns out I wasn't enough for them, I was way out of their league, they couldn't handle all of me. What a weakling.

Why did I even decide to stoop down to their level to love them only to be stabbed harshly in the back? I loved them for who they were, even if they were good or bad, I still loved them regardless. Did I hit my head too hard? Goodness, why did I do such a thing?

It's okay, it's all in the past now. I'm okay. Life is okay. I have no choice but to continue with life...right?

Third Stage - Bargaining:

What if I slowly make my way back into their life and eventually go back to how we were? They won't expect that, right? ... Am I crazy? Am I willing to go that far for them? Maybe...

Can't the world give me a sign and tell me this is only temporary? Relationships are like rollercoasters, it has their ups and downs, what if this will only lead to us being happier? Please tell me this is just a nightmare, I hope I wake up in their arms only to realize that it was all just a bad dream.

I promise to the universe that I'll stop asking for more, so please just let us be together again. I don't want us to be apart, we were made for each other...I'm getting desperate...

Fourth Stage - Depression:

Will I ever experience love like that ever again? I don't think that will ever happen to me again...I feel so empty...I feel so unloved. Am I unlovable? Is that why they left me? What's the point of living if I'm unhappy?

I want to rip myself open and scream at myself for never being enough for anyone. If they left me, does that mean everyone else will leave me too? Gosh, why don't I end my life right here, right now?

They're never coming back, why would they even come back after seeing me being so immature, so unlovable? I don't blame them for hating me, I'm the worst after all.

Fifth Stage - Acceptance:

People come and go, it's not like our separation is the end of the world, it's a simple break-up. I can cry - I already did, but that shouldn't stop me from living. I'm living for myself and not for them. Like I said before, 'It's not like they're the oxygen I need to breathe', I can live without them once and I can do it again, I just need time to heal.

We weren't made for each other, I can understand that. But I can't help but think about how they left me so abruptly and found someone new so quickly. How could they do such a thing? I'm here still sobbing and thinking about them while they're over there wanting to kiss someone else.

Sixth Stage - Revenge:

Oh, wait 'til I show them what they're truly missing out on. It's their loss and not mine. They chose to leave me behind as if I wasn't the best thing they could've ever gotten in their life. No offense to their new love interest, but I am far better than them, I have so many traits, talents, and skills they don't have to the point it seems so sad that they lowered their standards to want to be with someone like them.

I'll show them what they lost, I'll show them what they'll never have ever again. I will never let them see me suffer while they're out and being happy. It's not fair that they found someone new just like that, oh, I'll show them. I hope my absence haunts you.