Fruit Juice - South Park

1: Nectarines

One Month Earlier

"Are you out of your fucking mind?"

It simultaneously surprised nobody and everybody that Kyle Brofloski was the first person Eric Cartman confronted with his offer. One could argue that nobody was more surprised than Cartman himself, who had successfully cornered the redheaded boy at an afternoon rehearsal for that weekend's valedictorian ceremony. To act as if it was a premeditated meeting is to give him far too much credit. Only a week out from their graduation day, the timing of the invitation can't help but be considered a bit odd, if not outright perplexing. Proposing the trip now leaves approximately two and a half weeks until the departure date; certainly not last minute by any stretch of the imagination, but reasonably soon enough to acknowledge as too close for comfort. Consideration must additionally be paid to the nature of the variables in Cartman's proposal, more specifically the location of the retreat spot in question; Holly Beach, Louisiana. Almost four states over, the travelling duration would amount to a day in of itself, literally, more than likely requiring two days in practice to complete the trip. Moreover, that equation has yet to include the time required to return to South Park, either, indicating another two days required for that endeavour.

"So... let me get this straight. You want to invite me and Stan and Kenny on a vacation... to fucking Louisana? a beachside vacation... in the deep south?"

With only the unlikely pair stood central in the gymnasium's boy's lockeroom, there's little to detract from the unavoidable silence that followed Kyle's repose of Cartman downright bizarre suggestion given only mere minutes prior. Yet, the localised soured atmosphere has done little in the way of deteriorating Cartman's undeniably positive mood; the euphoric teeth-bearing smile of his accompanied by a sincere furrowing of his brows serves as incontestable proof. "Yeah! Ya got it!" is his only refute, a hand on each hip while standing tall in front of his friend in opposition.

Kyle's mood, however, cannot be inferred in nearly as positive of light. Lacking in venom, the crows feet dispersing from his eyelids from the scrunched up appearance of his nose are a physical communication of his utter confusion. "You fuckhead, I clearly don't get it!" He blurted, suppressing the urge to get his hands involved as a means of expressing emotion. "And-, I don't even know why I'm getting so hung up on the Louisiana part! As if that's the weirdest part of all this!" is spoken additionally, letting a loose finger slip to point it array in Cartmans direction.

Pausing only to complete a deep inhale, Kyle's endeavour to sus out Cartman's behaviour is quickly resumed. "For the last... however many years, I can't name a single time you have ever acted solely in the interest of others. Hell, sometimes, it feels like you choose literally the worst choice in anything and everything ever if it means getting to inconvenience another a person for a split second! Even if it means you're worse off cause of it!" What started as a finger had predictably devolved into an outright orchestral use of his limbs as a supporting act in his retort; anyone foolish enough to step into the lockeroom now wouldn't be blamed for mistaking the current situation as a flatout argument. But considering the individuals involved, would anyone really be surprised?

By genuine miracle, Cartman had not yet made way to interrupt Kyle, who's return to abrupt pause seemingly indicated a notice of this refrainment. "Kahl... dude... believe me when I say I get it! But you gotta hear me out," keenly eyeing the other boy up and down with an eager grin, he's met with the exact response he had hoped to achieve when Kyle sends an exasperated sigh and an eye roll his way.

"Fine. This is me... hearing you out or whatever."

Taking a step to Kyle, who had seemingly been making a concious effort to slowly back himself further and further away from him, Cartman nobly clears his throat and commences his pitch. "You. Me. Stan. Keeny. A fucking sweet vacation mah dude! What more needs to be said! Ya gotta be out of ya mind to turn this opportunity down!"