𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗪𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥 / call of duty x reader

3. my compass, my transport

"I have nothing else to live for."

It's a truth. A deep, earnest one – and it's the only option you have.

Without Graves, without your Shadows, you have nothing. No income, no family, no support. You're left with the clothes on your body and the shoes in which you stand, with no hope of finding your footing.

In the darkness, the only light shines from the headlights of the truck, and the red of the radio. It's silenced, of course, but it serves as a beacon of something between you all.

"I don't – I have no other choice," you say, voice trembling. You would not break in front of them, but you could feel yourself cracking; porcelain underneath a harsh grip. Turning yourself so you're completely facing the two, your expression turns desperate. "I want to help you both, and I want to save Phi– Graves."

You correct yourself at the final moment, wary of your slip up.

"Save 'im? From what? Feckin' charges for war crimes? Getting his ass handed to 'im?" Soap chokes out, incredulous, eyes wide where they meet yours. He winces when he moves forward too quick, straining his arm.

"He's..." You look down at your hands, merely watching for a moment as they close into a fist and open again. Blood crusts underneath your fingernails. "He's all I have. I'm sure he just needs a wake up call, someone to snap him out of it."

"He tried to kill us," Ghost speaks up, matter-of-fact, but quiet. As if at any moment, his words will wake up the entire city. If there were any civilians left in it, you supposed. Your eyes burn with unshed tears.

"...And I had to kill some of my men."

It's a confession of sin. Like poison on your tongue, yet at the same time, an anecdote to an evil in your veins. You'd killed your men. You'd... done that.

You still haven't quite allowed yourself to realise it, not yet.

But if it's enough to keep you alive right now, so be it. You hadn't gotten this far just to give up over something as inconsequential as pride.

"Ye will tell us everything you know about 'im. And'll help us until we figure out what to do. We're our own bosses now, Sweetheart," Soap commands, that fucking nickname of his seeming to stick. You don't dispute it – not right now, not when this is quite literally life or death.

"I promise," you say, resolute and stern. There was no time for self-pity or wallowing, only time for action and conviction – something you had in spades. "I'm yours for as long as you need me."

You hadn't known how true those words would be – not then, and not for a good while. But they were a prophecy, if such a thing could at all be possible for a woman like you.

Soap and Ghost share a look; a brief, yet important one, before Ghost gives the Scot a short nod. Soap turns once more to you, his face betraying the answer of their silent agreement.

"...So?" You suggest, impatient considering the consequences of the next few moments.

Bringing a hand up to stroke at his stubbled chin, Soap makes an act of pretending to ponder – and it succeeds in stoking the flames at your core, fury burning through you like a liquor-soaked rope.

"I dunno, lass," he says on a sigh, his ocean eyes betraying a mischief in their depths. "Yer kinda mean to me."

You might choke him.

Actually, check that, you will choke him. He's impossible – an arsehole to the nth degree – somehow worse than Ghost in his... foolishness? Was that the right word? Or just straight frustrating-ness?