Talking to the moon

Chapter 13

Yunjin had never been angry with Eunchae, annoyed, sure, but angry. Never. But here she was, practically seething as she watched the child unaware of her presence flip through Eunha's scrapbook. Putting salt into an already open wound accidentally that had Yunjin trying to calm herself down and not lash out like she so desperately wanted to. Eunchae didn't deserve all the words that jammed in Yunjin's throat, a scolding for the ages for touching that. It was really Yunjin's fault, she never established what Eunchae could and couldn't touch in the house, and the child wouldn't know what she found. That thought kept Yunjin in control, kept her relatively calm.

That damned scrapbook, the maroon one she insisted on putting together. Now it was slightly torn on the binding, the multicolor pages old and stiff as Eunchae gently flipped through them focusing on the pictures of a much younger, much happier Yunjin running around and posing for the camera. A time capsule of some of their happiest moments. Sometimes Yunjin thinks Eunha was planning it from back then, this scrapbook an apology and a farewell gift, sometimes she thinks she made it just to spite her, remind her of her failures. Eunchae had her maroon and white university jacket, the one with KOREA UNIVERSITY and nursing embroidered into the back, draped over her acting much more like a blanket than a coat. Some of their old letters were carefully removed from the box as well, meticulously in small stacks showing Eunchae took great care with handling them. An old CD that Eunha had made as a mixtape for her, illegally downloading music and burned it onto a two-dollar blank CD.

Tracing a hand over the images softly, Eunchae looked absorbed into the book, looking at it with a fascination. Yunjin had hidden that box a long time ago, deep back in her closet, not ready to give it up but also not read to throw it away. She felt the defenses she had so meticulously built up start to sound an alarm, telling her to stop this, "What are you doing?"

Eunchae looked up, just now noticing her presence, "Look what I found! Is that you?"

"Why are you touching this?"

"I-I just thought-" Eunchae's tone flattened, her head lowering in shame. That was enough to catapult Yunjin back into the real world, not the parade of self-pity she loved to live in whenever she saw this stuff.  She let out a sigh, dropping to her knees starting to pick up the letters.

"It's okay. Just please don't touch this again." Yunjin tried to keep her tone light, swallowing whatever anger screamed to be let out and lash out on the child. Eunchae didn't deserve that. "This is important to me."

"Okay." Eunchae closed the book and shrugged off the jacket, offering it to her. Yunjin took it and gently placed it into the box. "Who is that?"

"My friend."

"Like Chaewon?"

"Yeah, like Chaewon."

"She's pretty." Eunchae mused, opening the closet door for Yunjin as the woman closed the box and stood up.

"She was." Yunjin agreed, placing it into the back of the closet. She closed the closet door, taking a shaky breath as she tried to calm herself down. This was their last night, she didn't want to say or do anything she might regret. Eunchae deserved to have one last good memory.

"When is Chaewon coming back?" Eunchae asked for what Yunjin swore to be the fiftieth time that week. She was missing Chaewon bad, it was easy to tell. And honestly, Yunjin was as well.

"I don't know."

"Is she mad at me?" Eunchae asked, sounding small and nervous like she had been thinking about this for a while.

"Why would she be?"

"Because I got sick when you two were supposed to hang out together. One time Yeri came over and stole all Kyujin's attention and I got mad."