case 143 // seungin

chapter 15 | ʜɪᴅᴅᴇɴ ²

-ᴍᴏɴᴅᴀʏ-
jeongin's pov
i'm not mad, i'm not mad, i'm not mad, i'm not-

am i okay? i can feel the tears gathering in the corners of my eyes, but i refuse to let them out. i can't break down in the public; there were too many people watching.

i can't, i can't, i can't.

i ran straight for the hospital doors, not daring to look back. the revolving doors seemed like an invitation for my escape, and i swiftly slid into a vacant quarter, not bothering to put on my coat as i ran outside into the parking lot, which was now laden thick with snow that went up to my calves.

the carpark was extremely empty now, few people waiting around to watch the snow fall and camouflage their cars fully with the icy, white background.

shivering, i hopped into my car, slamming the door close as soon as i was inside.

thank god, or whoever you are, for putting heaters in cars.

i sighed, my breath condensing in the car. i leaned into the warm embrace of my cushy leather seat, closing my eyes for a few moments. turning on the engine, the car came to life as it rumbled dully under my feet.

i activated my windshield wipers as i backed out of my spot, the wipers swiping a mixture of snow and ice off as they fell to the ground with muted thumps. i soon had a clear view of the road ahead of me; realising i had turned the wrong direction.

oh well.

i didn't really care about anything else right now, so i didn't listen to the rational part of me telling me to go back; i just drove.

and drove

and drove

and drove.

the snow was unrelenting, coming down in thick white sheets that my wipers fought hard to keep off the windshield. i felt the first tear roll down my cheek, and i just let it continue. more followed the earlier tear, and i had no choice but to stop driving, my vision turning blurry with tears.

'AHHHHHH! FUCK!'

'FUCK HIM!'

i screamed at no one, cursed at no one. i thumped my fist into my steering wheel, well off the road by now, on a patch of what was originally grass, eyeing the irregular tufts of grass tips poking out of the snow.

i curled up into a ball, sobbing as i felt my body shake uncontrollably.

why? him and the doctor, they...

i couldn't even bring myself to complete the thought as i felt my tears flow like streams down my cheeks, and i screwed my eyes shut.

why do i even care so much about that stupid hyung?

seungmin...

i sobbed even more, i don't know what to think anymore. all i know is that i just want to get away from the hospital, school, town, people.

everyone.

everything.

especially the one who made me cry twice in a row.

i used the heels of my palms to wipe the stinging tears away from my eyes, feeling them swell up. i don't look in the rearview mirror or anything else as i fix my eyes on a point in the horizon, swerving back onto the road.

the speedometer slowly ticked up 40, 50, 60, 70... but it still wasn't fast enough. i slammed my feet onto the gas, the car jolting me in my seat from the sudden acceleration. i was having a race against time; to see if i could reach the end of the road faster than the sun was setting.