Daffodils In Spring

Chapter 1: A Rough Start

2024

Sunday, 7th January

The day I never dreaded finally came.

Catechism finally started today and I squealed at the thought that I could finally meet Amanda and the twins, Phoebe and Sophie, after the long term break in December. For some odd reason, I tried to avoid staring at Reagan even though there was absolutely nothing going on between us. I confirmed my suspicions that Hayley had a crush on him before the term break, and I've been annoyed at her ever since. I've seen her touch and cling to him flirtatiously, and that added fuel to my burning flames.

To add to our troubles, the reason the girls and I weren't looking forward to classes this year was because of our newly appointed teacher: Miss Rebecca. She's part of our church's youth council and is extremely notorious for her short temper. I even heard that she uses harsh words on little children at my brother's school. That was proven to be true when I heard her cuss in Chinese at Adrien, the gangster in class. There were so many times that I had to ask Amanda to translate what she said in Tamil, only to find that she was cursing.

I wouldn't want to dwell too much on what happened earlier, but I'm not sure if I'm able to survive this year. So much for being positive on New Year's.

What happened soon after tore me to pieces.

My family and I had finished shopping at X mall, and my dad started chewing on about how we were ungrateful people on our journey back home. He went on to say that we didn't appreciate the things they had given us, how they never had Lego back then, and how we left several pieces scattered on the floor. He pressed further about the reason he confiscated our Lego around 4 years ago.

I leaned my hand against the window and stared blankly as the bushes mixed into a mad pallet, taking in whatever he said. I assumed this was one of the usual episodes when he would start telling on Ronia and me. My ears started to shut when I heard something along the lines, "I'm very disappointed in you, Laura... I've always wanted to tell you this..."

The way he said it wasn't a calm, disappointed tone; but a dry, offensive one. My heart escalated from a hurt throb to a burning, escalated ache. I resisted the urge to let out a sarcastic chuckle. Dad doesn't understand me in the slightest bit. Just last Wednesday I cried the hardest I ever did for the first time in the past four years, telling Mom how she must be disappointed in me for not being the best example to Ronia and Caleb. And here we were, discussing how big of a failure I am. 

I couldn't remember what he said soon after, but I do remember the words "you are a disappointment" echoing in the back of my mind and engraved in my soul.

The moment I reached home I locked myself in my room. My knees suddenly felt weak and I collapsed to the edge of my bed. There was this uncomfortable ickiness lumping in my throat with my eyes starting to blur. I never would have imagined how my soul was truly hurt that day.

Not long after, my father went to the hospital to perform surgery.

My mother, siblings and I had a quiet dinner. Hopefully, today's events will not affect my finals tomorrow.