PJO Oneshots + Ships

Memes And More: Part Three

1.
Nico : Questa è tutta colpa tua!!

Percy : I know I know.

Nico *surprised* : You speak Italian?

Percy : No. I just know the phrase "This is all your fault" in every language.

2.
Percy : I got the Gods a "get better soon" card.

Annabeth: I thought the Gods couldn't get sick?

Percy : They can't.

Percy: I just thought they could do better.

3.
Percy : Hey, guys wanna do something that's like, super fun but also mildly illegal?

Thalia and Nico *Already getting into the car, ready to go* : Oh, fuck yeah!

4.
Zeus : Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm?

Percy : If you can ask questions without the usual level of stupid.

5.
Leo : Why aren't there adult sized playgrounds? Like everything is the same as a kids playground but bigger? Why do we not have those?

Piper : Theme Parks.

Leo : But you have to pay for those.

Piper : That's the adult part.

Leo : Son of a bitch.

6.
Percy : Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects.

Percy : Discuss.

Chiron : Oh. This. I don't like this.

7.
Apollo : Can you recommend me a book that made you cry?

Percy : General mathematics sixth edition.

8.
Percy : Your father has a lot to answer for.

Jason : I know. I have a list. Thalia has a file.

9.
Zeus is trying to get along with Percy for once because he's dating Jason. So he gives him an offer to speak his mind without repercussions.

Zeus : Anything you say in the next thirty seconds is free, I won't smite you. Starting now.

Percy : I think you're cocky, arrogant, bossy, and pushy. You have a king complex and don't think of anyone but yourself.

Zeus : Wait a min-

Percy : I have twenty-three seconds left and I'm not done.

10.
Percy : It's almost time to switch from our regular everyday weapons to our Christmas weapons.

Reyna : Is there a difference?

Nico : Yes. The Christmas ones light up.

Reyna : What about the Halloween weapons?

Nico : They are decorated with little skeletons.

11.
Grover : Can I get a matcha vanilla latte with... uhhh seven espresso shots?

Nico : Cristo just do cocaine.

12.
(Older Greek camper who hasn't met Jason Grace and is sparing with him but he is acting super feral.)

Camper : What were you raised by wolves or something?

Jason : Actually yeah I kinda was.

Camper : OH DAMN my bad.