Mended

Fourteen

Agony, sorrow, and rage course through Severus' veins. It clouds his vision and causes his hands to shake at his sides as he tries desperately to control the sobs coming from his throat.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Breathe in, breathe out.

He tells himself as he puts one foot in front of the other.

Fix your face!

Wipe that look off of your face!

His father's voice rings in his head as he narrows his eyes, an attempt to remove the misery contorting his face into something unrecognizable.

Before him, looking incredibly smug in his periwinkle robes, a twinkle in his eye, and a smirk on his face is Albus Dumbledore. Severus clenches his fists in his robes, the fabrics seam biting into his flesh, an attempt to keep from ripping the man apart with his bare hands.

"You told me- swore to me that you would keep them safe!" Severus barks, droplets of saliva escape his mouth and splatter against Albus' half-moon spectacles. The man smiles up at him, removes the glasses from his face, wipes them on his robes, and crosses his hands before him on the mahogany desk.

"They put their faith in the wrong person, Severus." Albus says calmly.

"My daughter? My daughter put her faith in the wrong person? She was a child! She is dead, they are all dead, and it is your fault!" Severus rages as he slams his fists down on the desk, causing Albus to flinch slightly.

"Are you suggesting that it was I who killed your child, Severus?" Albus asks, raising one brow at him as he collapses into a chair and buries his face in his hands. "Miss Black-apologies, Missus Snape, mistakenly put her faith in you. This unfortunately cost not only her own life, but that of her daughter as well."

"Just kill me, Albus. Please. I cannot go on." Severus sobs as he balls his fists in his hair.

"We have been through this, Severus. What good would that do?"

"I have given everything. I have lost my wife, my child. Potter is dead, Minerva is dead. Everyone that I know is dead. I have nothing left to live for, nothing left to give."

"Harry's son lives. He will need our protection."

"I do not care, Albus." Severus snaps as he lifts his head to glare at the old wizard before him, tears stream from his swollen, red eyes. He makes no move to mask them. "I have nothing left to give. I am tired. I do not want to do this anymore!"

"You told me, once upon a time, that you would do anything, give anything, if I saved Lily Potter's life. I saved yours in the process, Severus. I would have been well within bounds to kill you that day on the cliffs, could have given you up a thousand times over."

"I wish you would have. I do not want to live."

A pounding from behind him catches his attention, he tries to ignore it should he erupt at whomever is on the other side. Every ounce of his anger will rightfully be directed at Albus Dumbledore; no one can take this from him, he will not allow it.

"Severus!" The person on the other side shouts as the pounding continues, he grits his teeth and glares at Albus.

Severus makes to stand when the memory of his wife caressing his cheek overcomes him. He shakes his head as his face contorts in agony once more. A sob wracks his body, his chest is hollow, his stomach twisting in knots. He wishes to throw himself from the Headmasters balcony. He wishes to place the tip of his wand to his temple and whisper the killing curse. With any luck, there will be an afterlife in which he will be reunited with his family, will feel his wife's hand against his cheek once more, feel the weight of his daughter in his arms. At the very least there will be nothing. No pain, no hurt, no memories.