Trials of the Heart

Chapter 23

badump...

badump...

badump...

you slowly opened your eyes, the dim room making it easier for your vision to clear. after slowly sitting up, you took in your surroundings and saw how... grey it looked. your head hurt and your chest felt like-

"AGH!"

scaramouche jolted awake because of your sudden exclamation of pain, looking up at you. "Y/N? what's wrong-" then it processed.

you were awake.

you were alive.

he immediately hugged you, albeit being very careful. "Y/N! are you okay?! holy shit i'm so sorry..."

you felt wetness drip onto your neck, and you gently cradled his body. he was crying into your neck, and you couldn't help but cry too.

all you could remember was pain, excruciating amounts of pain.

"you're okay," he said, like a mantra. "you're okay, you're okay, you're okay."

it was almost like he was trying to convince himself that you were okay, that you're alive and breathing. that the surgery went well.

"i-i'm alright but... what happened," you asked curiously. "i only remember getting stabbed by coppelius' fan."

"oh honey," he said, cupping your cheek and wiping your tears with his thumb. this was one of his most emotional moments, you had never seen him look so... human. "why... why did you do that?"

"why did i do what...?"

"why did you stay behind?! i shouldn't have trusted you even though you insisted," he exclaimed, tears dripping down his cheeks and falling to the floor. "fuck, i'm such an idiot! why did i listen to you?!"

"kuni-"

"you have no idea how lucky you are to be alive right now," he said, sounding frustrated as he cried. he sobbed, his voice sounded so broken and defeated, yet thankful and relieved. it was so sad to watch.

you averted your eyes out of guilt but...

then your eyes caught the box.

your box.

you rubbed your eyes, thinking that maybe you're seeing things. but no matter how many times you blinked, even doing a double take, a triple take, a quadruple take. it did not go away.

no...

"kuni... wait... how am i alive right now," you asked breathlessly. you felt your heart drop to your stomach as realization hit you. how can i be alive when i got stabbed in the heart? that's fatal. unless...

"kuni no," you said, gasping.

he nodded, confirming your concern.

"that melusine nurse performed surgery on you and you got a heart implant."

his heart implant.

then you felt like crying more, a steady stream of salty liquid pouring down your cheeks. "kuni i'm so sorry," you whimpered out, sobbing. "i'm so so sorry..."

"it's okay," he replied, hugging you. now it was his turn to comfort you. "it's okay, it's okay."

"what?! no it's not! that was my surprise to you! that was your chance to be human-"

he cut you off with a kiss. it was a gentle one, passionate and tender. it didn't last for long, he mainly did it to stop you from getting in over your head.

"there would be no point in having a heart if there's no one to share it with."

your heart skipped a beat.

"kuni..."

"if you died and left me here," he said solemnly. "i would never forgive myself. you're the reason why i wanted a heart to start with. yes, i was always confused about emotions that you humans felt, but... you're the one who made me crave it. i wanted to feel the care that you gave me, the unconditional sappiness that you humans call 'love'. i wanted it, i needed it." he kissed you on the forehead. "but i don't even care now."

"but kuni this was meant for you. this heart was supposed to be yours-"

"then you keep it," he said, holding your hands in his own, relishing in the warmth of your hands that were cold last night. "keep it. keep my heart.

let it be known that my heart belongs to you."

you cried even harder at his words, sobbing into his chest. "kuni..."

"i love you, Y/N," he said, kissing the top of your head.

"i love you too," you managed to choke out. "how did i get this lucky?"

"i should be asking you the same thing," he replied. "i've put you through so much pain, from having you work on the god creation plan and betraying buer, to irminsul, to now. i'm so lucky that you've decided to stick by me and my greed."

you fell quiet, unable to form coherent words as you cried into his arms. no words needed to be spoken anyway, both of you just wanted to be with each other.