Peter's Twin Sister

(29)

Olivia's POV

Most of the day had passed before I saw Peter again. I stayed in our room, avoiding the residents of the tower, while my brother spent the day in the lab with Mr. Stark. This is how life has been for the last month so you would think that I'd be used to it by now. Even before this, I would spend most of my days at home by myself, as Peter would be off Spider-Man-ing or here at the tower helping Mr. Stark, while Aunt May would be at work. Yet being held up in the room all day here makes me feel out of place.

"Hey, Liv it's almost time for dinner, you going to come eat with everyone?" Peter asks as he walks in, having just gotten back to the room, putting things in different piles, one to be shoved into his school bag, one that contains project pieces, and another of his Spider-Man gear that he needs to repair.

"Do I have to?" He looks at me over his shoulder, "This has something to do with your bandage up arm you're hiding under your sleeves?" I look down at the floor trying to avoid his ---. He stops what he's doing and comes and sits by me on my bed. "What happened last night? Both you and Mr. Stark seem shaken up about something, and you are clearly injured. I want to know what's going on with my little sister." He elbows me, offering a smile.

"I had an ASD meltdown. It was an overreaction to the noise of a Saturday evening. 'Girls Day' was way too overstimulating." I sigh, "I wish things could return to normal. I don't belong here, Peter. All of you are heroes, and or higher-ups in SI. I'm a kid with a mental disorder. I'm of no use here, and am only taking up space."

My brother listened as I told him this, and as I finished he spoke up. "Look, Olivia, I remember when I first started coming to the tower, I felt so out of place and way out of my league, but I wanted to become a good engineer and a good hero so I kept working at it. I'm still nowhere near their league but now I don't feel so out of place, because I made a purpose for myself. Everyone who lives here is useful and successful because they decided they wanted to do something and worked hard to get it. You are smart and capable, and though your ASD makes things more complicated for you than an average person, but the only thing holding you back from doing the same is you. Sitting in this room is definitely not working out for you so, what do you want to do instead? you don't need to answer, just think about it. I'm going to head to the dining room, it would be nice if you joined us." He walked out of the room before I could even think of saying anything in response.

I know he is right. We have been living here for a while but I haven't put any effort into being a part of the residents. I sit there in my own thoughts for who knows how long. The thoughts were swirling through my head so fast that I couldn't make out a single one of them.

As I was lost in the labyrinth of fussy, incompleted thoughts, one was starting to be coherent. 'I hate change, but I don't want to be like this for the rest of the time I'm living here.'  I'm used to people changing for me, as I was the one with the disability. they have been trying to help make things easy for me, but there are a lot more people here than back at home. I can't expect them to change everything about their lives because I'm autistic, and it makes me uncomfortable.

A saying that my mom would repeat to me when I was little came to mind. "Your ASD is a part of you, but it's not all of you." I've been letting my asd control me for too long. I was given the blessing of being a functioning autistic person, and yet I haven't been acting upon that gift. 

I stand up from my spot on my bed, and walk to the door. My heart is racing as I make my way to the dinning area. I feel so stupid, I've eaten with them before, but becouse of the anxiety of seeing them after the meltdown, it makes it harder. 

I see them all sitting around the table talking and laughing with each other. They seem to be enjoying themselves, and I can't help but to think I would ruin it. I take a deep breath as I try to stop the hyperventilation that is starting to set in. One more step and I'll be with there sites and there will be no chance of chickening out. It feels as though I physically can't, bit I know that I can.

The nerves have me shaking and I take a step back  to stable myself. If I can take a step backwards than I can take a step forward. A take in a big breath and hold it as I walk out into the room.

"Hey kid, hope you like BBQ because bird brain ordered way to much." All of the Avangers looked twards me and offered a smile before returning to there conversing.

I take a seat amongst them and as I eat, I gave the occasional contribution to the conversations. The whole time my anxiety fluctuated, but I kept the facade up, as I let myself try to enjoy my time with my unconventional housemates.

A/N-
Hi all. I'm really bad at consistently updating, and I would say that I'll try to update more regularly but that's not going to happen so oh well.