Drawn to toxic relationships with guys who are like her father, a facade of sincere and unconditional love compelled Ariadne Zamiren to stay with a guy who had feigned his concern and intentions. A closed communication filled with twisted words and...
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ARIADNE
"You were pulling me down with you. You were so clingy. Hindi ko magawa mga gusto kong gawin. I know na dapat kakampi mo ako, but...."
It was only a few moments for me to breathe, then... he said the next words that shattered me through and through.
"You're so insecure," he emphasized. "Masyadong mababa tingin mo sa sarili mo, and I can't always be there. You're always overthinking things. You're always expecting the worst...."
"I'm sorry...." I tilt my head down and I felt like my feet were on quicksand as humiliation dawned upon me. Ganito ako.
"And you know what? Napagod ako sa 'yo. You're like an excess baggage in my life na kailangan kong bitbitin araw-araw. Nakakapagod, nakakasakal."
I dared to look in his eyes. "Bakit 'di ka nagsabi sa 'kin?"
"Hindi ko gawain 'yon, Yani. Lalaki ako kaya kaya kong ikimkim kahit gaano pa katagal." Then, there was his faint smile. "But I get tired, too." He paused. "I cheated."
All my senses turned off, and the only pain I felt was my heartbeat. "Why?"
"I know you don't deserve that, but I still did. Sa iba ko nahanap 'yung mga hinahanap ko na wala sa 'yo. I felt like a real man with another girl, pero sa 'yo? Nahihirapan ako."
I should be shouting, yelling, throwing things and painful words at him, but I just stood there. All the things he had said were true, and we didn't have anyone to blame but me.
"I'm sorry."
Since then, I've been trying to be enough. We started again. I changed my ways. I made myself better. Everything I did was for him. To be the best girl for him.
But I'm afraid now it feels so wrong.
It felt so wrong to doubt him when he promised me that he'll never do it again right after I promised that I'll change myself.
He can't do that. He won't do it again.
"Natulog ka ba?" Bungad ni Arkid sa 'kin. "Tangina, para kang naluging intsik."
Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. "Gago ka ba?"
Bwisit talaga kahit kailan 'tong lalaking 'to.
He has a dirty blond hair na dirty dahil maliligo lang siya kung kailan niya maisipan. It was also tousled na parang pinamugaran ng mga uwak dahil hindi rin nagsusuklay ang lalaking 'to. Swerte na lang na hindi pa siya obviously nagmumukhang dugyot kahit gaano pa kaputi ang kaniyang balat.
"Hindi, gwapo lang."
I rolled my eyes.
I opened the door in the backseat and saw Eris there.
