𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐯𝐢𝐚 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐢 (#1 2023)

THE FUTURE ME

NIMMI'S pov

It's been almost a month since I've come back to home, my family. Every day i wake up with a hope of new beginning to myself, hope of not thinking of  past and that horrible night.

I smile evertime I'm in front of my family and especially my husband, my Ram. the man who turned the world upseide down to get those disgusting people where they should be, which is behind the bars.

I was lost in my thoughts, sitting on this swing in balcony. it early morning, it still wasn't dawn.

The air was a little chilly. wrapping myself a little tighter in my soft fluffy blanket, my eyes fixed on the dark sky.

an unknown tear escaped my right eye, betraying me. "i know i shouldn't but what do i do with this heart, that can leave the pain behind.", i don't know whom i was asking or whom was expecting to answer me?

" how do I forget those faces who tried to ruin me?  what did i do to deserve this?"

This year was full of unexpected experiences. With hopes of achieving something big I reached Lucknow to start my medical journey.

Where life gave me the most beautiful gift. Vikram, he came to my life life a wind. Before I could even realize I was lost in his fresh and sweet fregnance of sweet love.

But just when we could even start our life together, things shattered and dreams turned to nightmares.

for a mere some property Vikram's step mother, her son and even his father could go so low?

Even today that house, that room where they kept me and tried to exploit me. It's always in my head like clear water of river, where you can see everything flowing inside.

His father might not the part of it , still he is no less criminal.

Vikram might not say this, but I know every other night when I can't sleep and leave the room to sit here in balcony, he doesn't sleep either. Waiting for me to calm down. The serenity he always had in this relationship, makes me realize if it wasn't for him we couldn't have come this long.

But tonight the winds were a little to fast making it a little to difficult for me to sit there, so I decided to go in.

As I entered my room , my eyes landed on the big bookshelf that I filled all these months.

When nothing works , it's always books that will come to rescue. Which also helped me to express my feelings through inking my words.

After I left Vikram few months ago. I was so alone and broken that I would get the worst ideas of myself. Not having any one to share your agony felt unbearable so I decided to write them all out.

"Nimmi?", "huh? Who is it?", I looked around the room in shock . Who was it? So early in the morning or if I'm just hallucinating?"

I rubbed my temples , "I think I should sleep.",

"You WON", a girl who looked just like like me., but much happier and cheerful.

"You...you...? Who are you?", "It doesn't matter who I am, what matter is, that you need to remember what you promised yourself."  Who was this woman, how did she come here and what was she even talking about?

"What promises? I...I made no promises...", this was scaring me. My words haltered, palms got sweaty and a shiver ran down my spine.

"One day I will look back in the time and smile to see how i did not give up, neither did I break in this journey of healing and mending my heart.", her words were sounding so familiar. As if I heard them before as well.

"I know I had the horrible year . The year that changed my life completely. The year that might have started with happines and love but with it came misery, heart break, agony and lots of pain. I couldn't change what happened but I promised myself not to give up and I rose thoroug the ashes and I am PROUD of my younger self."

And it all started making sense. I rushed through my bookshelf looking for diary with brown leather cover and my name on it.

Rummaging through the books madly finally I found it in the bottom of the shelf eating dust.

How could I forget about it ? Turning the pages I finally found that ONE.

"Those....exact..exact words.", my eyes were filled so many unshed tears. When i looked at the top corner, it was the date 1 years from now.

A promise that I did to myself, an oath I took, that I will not give up and one when I look back, I'll be able to say this "I WON!",

"Nimmi, no matter what life brought your way, you fought back and that's why you are here.", she said standing behind me as it turned to look at her.

"Bu....how..how did you ...come here!?", how could this be possible?

"How come I'm here, it doesn't matter. How will you fight the demons, that's what is more important?", with that she started walking back with a smiling face looking at me.

"You are worth more then you think. Don't let anyone take away the gift you got.", as she said , her eyes moved from me to Vikram?

I followed her gaze and saw Vikram sleeping peacefully.

"What do you..?", and she disappeared, just like that.

"Where did she go?", "was I hallucinating or was it real?", I couldn't process what just happened. My mind was in haze. Her words ringing like an early morning alarm in my ears, again and again.

"It doesn't matter who she was and what  just happened. You should know that, whatever she said is absolutely correct. How long will you keep yourself in this shell?", the voice in me , that I kept ignoring finally spoke, showing me the reality.

"Look at this man. Doesn't he deserve to be happy? He might never complain , but you know that he's not. And the reason? , it's you NIMMI.", she was right. How did I become so selfish. The man who supported me on every step, who loved me despite my flaws, who accepted me even when I couldn't accept myself, when I thought I was a impure.

That's it, I'm not going to do anymore self loathing. I will be he strongest person for myself and the people who love me.

And I promise, I will come back to this diary, this same page telling myself that I became the best version of myself and this time nothing can stop me.

With a smile I kept my diary safe in my cupboard, with a promise to become the best and stronger version of myself.

Turning back I saw Vimram still sleeping soundly and a smile formed on my lips seeing the love of my life.

"What happened wasn't in my control, what will happen I can't tell, but this moment here, is MY and I know what I want in this moment.", walking around the bed I tucked myself under the blanket and hugged my Vikram tight kissing his cheek.

Blinking his eyes to adjust to the light he looked down at me. "You okay ?", he asked caressing my cheek.

"Never Better and and happier before.", he tilted his head a little looking confused.

"Don't worry from now on things will change only and only for the good because I have you.", I could see all the worry flying away from his face and actually looking happy.

"I love you, Mrs Chandravanshi .", "I love you too Mr Chandravanshi"

Life will never go as you plan. The moment you think you have everything in control, life will take an unpredictable turn, like it happened to me.

When I thought I have everything my life, everything was taken away. There was no fault of mine in this family rivalry where a father and step mother wanted to ruin their son for throne and for them the best way was to exploit me and harass me. But at the end they are paying their deeds.

So instead of crying for it, fight it and rise from those ashes like a phoenix.