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Ally

'Hey Finn', Ally smiles, she has such a whole smile. Like her whole face and body and essence smiles, I don't know how anyone could feel anything but contentment after a glimpse of that smile. I lock eyes with her, I'm not sure how long it lasted but it felt like a while. Too long, maybe. I never noticed how green her eyes were. Was it weird I was looking at the colour of her eyes? I looked away, but I could still feel her green eyes on the side of my face.
I was thinking and didn't realised the silence that had followed her last words.
'Hey,' I say quickly.
She says nothing. I say nothing. The air felt too thin to breathe, yet full of every atom in the universe.
'Um, you doing anything tonight?' Her eyes flicked between my left eye to my lips to my right eye, engraving a perfect triangle in my features. It must have been a mistake.
'No, don't think so,' I reply.
'I think a couple of us were going into town after, if you wanna come along.'
'Oh, yeah I don't think I can go.'
'Oh, ok.' There was so much hurt in those two words. It felt like it should've been the end of the conversation but neither of us left. We just stood there. This is weird, I think, this should feel weird. We locked eyes again, this time I didn't look away. I blinked and her lips grazed my own.
'Hey- um-' I pull away. Ally's eyes search mine, all of a sudden scared for their life. I didn't know what I was doing but I knew I had to get rid of that look.
I kissed her again. My hands sought hers, and eventually found them up against my cheek, pressed like ice on a flame. I could feel her heartbeat and my whole body shivered, but I could feel the back of my neck sweating. For a moment, the world finally went quiet and all I could hear was the sound of our breathing.
'Al-' I stepped back, untangling our limbs, she looked at me expectantly. She said nothing, but she didn't need to. I knew what was written in those green eyes.
'I gotta go,' I say before she can and rush to leave.

The final bell throbs through the now deserted locker bay, its memory rattling each bone in my body and sending an echo throughout. I regain control of my body, speechless, confused. My head swims in an array of feelings and my legs fall over the edge of my bed as I lean back, hands over eyes.
The now too familiar chime buzzes out my phone, and again I catch myself wishing it was them.
'I did something stupid.' The words light up my screen and I wonder if I just lived that scene through their eyes.
'no kidding'
'Shut up this is actually bad'
'wow no full stops'
'Finn.'
'what did you do ire' To be honest, 'ire' kinda just came out, but it's cute.
'I kissed someone I shouldn't have.' My eyes blur over and the grin that crawled across my face drops instantly. I mean there's no way. There's no way.
I think I black out as my fingers drag over the keyboard.
'no kidding'
'That's not helpful Finn!!'
Finn. They know who I am. They know my name. But if she knew, she'd say something right? No, there's no way.
'What's his name?'
'How did you know it was a 'he'?' Wow I really already blew my cover.
'I dont know just a hunch ig'
'Oh, well, I can't tell you his name.'
'Why not? Cant tell me your name surely you tell me this terrible mystery boy's name'
'I could, I just don't want to.'
'that bad huh?' I pry, 'so what is he named after a fruit or something?'
'So you think I'm a girl.'
'What?'
'If you're certain this person I kissed was a boy.'
'Oh idk never really thought about it'
'Oh'
'Oh?'
'Oh'
'Ok we are so unbelievably off topic right now'
'Right.' Of all the strange conversations I've had, this has gotta make the leaderboard.
'I'm sorry if I asked too many questions'
'What no you didn't I started the conversation.'
I go to type something but no words really form, Ireland starts typing again so I delete the letters.
'So I kissed this person and they freaked out and I freaked out and I thought it was going to be ok but it wasn't and now I don't know what to do, I don't even know why I did it either, I don't even really like them I just thought... idk it felt right in the moment, but now UGH.'
I read the message twice, water pricking in eyes yet again. No way.