BIG-J

26

Overwhelmed by emotions, I decided to step outside for some fresh air. The 24/7 store provided a brief distraction as I picked up some drinks, and I eventually found myself at the park, seeking solace by the swings. Seated there, I sighed audibly, lost in my thoughts, oblivious to another presence until a soft yet husky voice broke the silence.

"You know, it's quite rude of you to ignore me nowadays," the voice said. Startled, I nearly jumped, turning to see James with a hoodie obscuring his face, seated on the adjacent swing. Nervously chuckling, I questioned, "What are you doing here?" He retorted, "I could ask you the same. Out alone at 11 pm?" Sighing, I responded, "Bad night, you know," and he chuckled. We sat in silence until I gathered the courage to break it, inquiring, "So, you and Shreya, huh?" He shrugged.

As a chilly breeze swept through, I realized I didn't have my jacket, and shivers ran down my spine. Without a word, James removed his hoodie and handed it to me. Grateful, I thanked him and draped it over myself, catching a comforting scent. Glancing at his face, I dropped my bag of drinks. His eyes were swollen, blood dripping. Panic set in, and I urgently asked, "James, what happened?" His response was a heavy silence.

Taking him to his house, we entered his bedroom, where I made him sit. As I rushed to get the first aid kit, I discovered the wounds were deep. Cleaning and dressing them, I did my best to provide comfort. Throughout the process, James's gaze remained fixed on me, an intensity that left me unsettled. Once done, I suggested letting Shreya know, but he responded in a sleepy tone, "Hey, come over here for a minute." Without overthinking, I complied, and he pulled me down, falling asleep beside him. Despite the initial hesitation to leave, I succumbed to the quiet moment. Glancing at his features, I noticed his undeniable beauty. Gradually, my eyes drifted shut, and I found myself asleep beside James.

Waking up at 4 in the morning, the realization hit me like a ton of bricks – I had slept with James, and the weight of the guilt was suffocating. Feeling so wrong, I gently pushed him aside, grabbed my phone, and hastily made my way back home. As much as I liked James, I couldn't be the one to sabotage a friendship and a relationship. He was dating Shreya, and my actions felt like a betrayal. Carrying the guilt with me, I hurried home, deciding to work out and prepare for school.

With an assignment looming, I couldn't meet Shreya during the first half of the day. Partnered with Dominic for the assignment, despite lingering resentment, we put our differences aside and worked together. Dominic cracked a few jokes that surprisingly lightened the mood. After bidding goodbye, I headed straight to the rooftop for some fresh air.

Everything felt suffocating and heavy, and as I entered the rooftop, I witnessed James and Shreya sharing a kiss. Sighing, I considered making a quick exit when Shreya, catching my presence, looked a bit embarrassed. She suggested, "Oh well, Anushka, I thought it would be a good idea if we went on a double date tonight." Before I could respond, she rushed off, leaving me standing there.

About to follow her, James intercepted, questioning, "So, we're gonna act like strangers now, huh?" I sighed and replied, "Well, what else and how else are we supposed to act?" He looked at me with a hint of sadness. "Well, we were friends, weren't we?" he uttered. I replied, "Were we?" He walked toward me, placing his hands on my shoulders, saying, "You know you mean so much to me." Tears welling up, I sighed, "Well, isn't it too late?" His eyes pleaded for a response, and I continued, "No – no, you can't, we can't. You're with Shreya." I ran out, hearing James calling after me.

Too embarrassed to face James, I found myself sitting in the courtyard, tears streaming down my face. Unbeknownst to me, Dominic approached and sat beside me. In a soft tone, he asked, "Hey, are you okay?" Annoyed, I replied, "Fuck off. What do you want?" He sighed, "It was James, wasn't it?" I retorted harshly, "Who are you to comment? You cheated on me." In a low tone, he admitted, "I know I did, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. I didn't come here to ask for your mercy."

He continued, "I just wanted to apologize. Even if we might not be friends, as a decent human, you deserve an apology." Frustrated, I shouted, "Leave now!" He stood up, sighed, and said, "As you wish. By the way, Elinia wrote this for you. I know it isn't the perfect time, but do read it. She poured her heart into it. Take care and goodbye, Anushka. I hope we meet soon." With those words, he left.

Closing my eyes, I clutched the letter Elinia had given me. My life felt far from perfect; every attempt at studying seemed overshadowed by drama. Realizing I needed to take control, I made a decision. I had to make things work out – it was my life, and I was determined to make it perfect.