The Family Lokison (Part 4)

Agreed (LOKI)

"Thank gods," Thor said as his nearly oppressive aura loomed above me. "Thought you were lost for sure."

I stood to meet his eyes. Freyr and Grid wept loudly at our side while Sigyn and Vali exchanged their own private whispers.

He narrowed his eyes and surveyed us. Slower than Vali was. Perhaps he thought we wept tears of joy since Sigyn and I arrived as the Bifrost shut down. The truth was too horrific to consider without cause, and he fought with himself over it. It was evident in the way sweat trickled down his face. In the helpless, child-like awe of his open jaw. And finally, the grimace of pain that was a mere fleck of ash to my raging wildfire of grief.

My jaw tightened, chattering my teeth behind closed lips. It was sheer will that kept me from filling the sky with every curse I'd ever heard, in any language. Control was an illusion, but illusions were my strong suit. In front of anyone who cared, I could maintain it.

Thor pulled me into the kind of embrace that both of us pretended was about how we'd survived to see the other side of Ragnarok. In reality, he held me upright to let me collapse.

However many minutes passed with all of us together, they weren't long enough. Freyr and Grid were summoned by other Vanir who, true to form, were anxious to establish camps and start a bonfire. Vali left Sigyn where she was so he could lend a hand wherever he could find someone who accepted his help. She remained on the ground below me, on her knees, staring into the distance with her hand on her belly, rubbing in wide circles.

I wiped my face and finally turned in a full circle to take in the surroundings. The scorched earth around us was just that—Earth. Recognizable only by the remnants of crumbling infrastructure in all directions. Simple buildings. The aftermath of whatever apocalypse Surtur, Jormungand, and Yggdrasil itself rained upon the realm in those final days. Fraying human culture, only a shadow of what we gave them as examples for living, though they were clever in how they developed their own magic for electricity and communication. Gray skies reached from horizon to horizon, yet a distinct bright light behind them still brought warmth to everyone.

A resilient little planet. It would do for New Asgard.

Thor kicked his head to lead me away from Sigyn, evidently not wanting to question me with her so close. Just as well. I couldn't bear to watch her suffering and presumed she had no capacity for anything other than her racing thoughts. I followed him to a dilapidated wall of rubble, flat enough to sit.

He got close to me, still cautious about what my wife could hear. "What happened to him?"

"I...I don't know." I stared at my hands, fascinated by how I had no control over their shaking. It distracted me enough from the pit in my gut that wanted to do nothing but lie down and weep.

"Where was Sigyn?"

"In the palace. In the basement. Deeper than I knew it went." I rubbed those same hands together, though it made no difference for my whole body's shivering. "I opened the doors to the shelter and...gods, Thor, it was horrifying. Her screams, the darkness, his absence, all of it. Asgard broke, and the same emptiness that took Odin and Surtur consumed him." I buried my face in my hands and choked, wishing I had a fool's hope to rely on or even fantasize about that might bring us a shred of comfort, but presuming he could've survived would mean the foes we defeated could, too. It was too complicated, too messy for reality.

"So, she was injured?"

"No. She...she watched him vanish." I raked my hands through the hair over my temples, which was still tied back in a plait strong enough to stay in place. The slight pain from my tugging reminded me to breathe.

He let me quietly reflect on the shock of our circumstance and only interrupted by laying his hand on my shoulder. My thick armor pinched me uncomfortably, but I didn't want to remove it. Doing so would mark the end of our fight, and the beginning of a new home—one that was incomplete and always would be.

I finally pulled my head up when a new wave of fresh smoke burned my eyes. Faster than I expected, the refugees had spread out over the remnants of city around us. Leaders were rising. One step, then another. Moving forward was the only way to rebuild, and rebuilding couldn't wait. More lives were at stake.

Thor cleared his throat for my attention. "Brother, they need...I need your help. You're the stronger commander. They'll listen to you far more than they'll listen to me. Father tried to convince me to step up for years, and I wasn't ready...now, here it is, and I don't have a choice, and I still feel like I'll fail."

"You will." I glanced at him, stoic, but practical. "You'll fail, and you'll learn. And after you learn, then you'll succeed. Like the best parts of life. Like...like being a parent." I stretched my arms forward and focused on my vambraces—Vali on the right, Narvi on the left. I cradled my left arm against my chest and was thrown back to the first moments I held the suckling child, dreaming about what a man he would be. How he'd rewrite the future. Surprise all of Yggdrasil. And he'd done that, only in such a way that it broke all our hearts and made us yearn for his presence.

Thor nodded, clearly uncomfortable with my metaphor.

"Where is your son?" I whispered, closing my eyes and imagining Narvi's gentle embrace from the morning I left for the fight. "This concerns him equally as family. He'll need to be told."

"Oh..." Thor stood and scoped over the crowd.

It was an old jealousy, the anger tickling at the back of my throat. A wish to scream at him for having things so easy—only one child to care for, and not an ounce of concern for the boy's whereabouts. His suggestion that I might make a better leader stung equally so, because even if his words were true, I no longer wanted it. I wanted something Thor couldn't give me.

I barely raised my face when the child caught my eye on the other side of Sigyn, peeking out from behind a half-toppled brick wall. Modi watched us, raptor-like with his sharp eyes and defensive claws gripping the stone. He had a stance for defense. An aura seen with vengeance. And a familiar scowl directed at Thor.

Oh, yes. I knew that expression from my mirror.

"Your son is your greatest treasure and legacy, brother." I tapped Thor's side and pointed toward Modi, who noticed my signal and crouched fully. "Do not poison his potential with neglect." I stood to be with Sigyn again, already yearning to give her anything she could appreciate.

Loki, wait—"

I looked him in the eye but didn't bother standing up straight. "I will join you in rebuilding Asgard. In finding the other branches of our universe. First, we need some semblance of healing. Go find yours."