The Family Lokison (Part 4)

Still Brothers (LOKI)

I walked at a quick clip from Odin's foyer, hoping to catch up with Sigyn before she had a chance to see anyone else we knew downstairs. The helmet was already making my neck ache, and I wondered how my younger self handled the weight during long ceremonies. Perhaps like Odin, my body was starting to show signs of wear.

Thor rushed to catch up to me, no less loud with his heavy footsteps as he ever was. "Loki, were you ever going to reach out after conquering Vanaheim?"

I scoffed and kept walking. "I didn't conquer the Vanir, brother. They honored me. They respect me. I earned what I have now. You have no idea the things I've sacrificed...the foes I've kept from reaching you. I showed them that Frigga did not waster her time and talents teaching me magic. Which is more than you ever did to represent this house to them."

He yanked my shoulder to force me to stop. "Asgard is at peace with Vanaheim. Why would I contact them at all?"

"Don't pretend you didn't know precisely where I was. I doubt Heimdall was blind to me when I left Asgard all those years ago."

"Maybe it was naïve of me, but we had a deal. You swore to keep my son safe from your wrath, so I let you leave. To be honest, I wasn't certain what would happen to you...Sigyn was at death's door, and you had no hope. It wouldn't have surprised me to find out that you chose to join Mother on purpose."

I stared into his eyes and saw no façade that suggested deceit. Typical of Thor. Too innocent to be conniving or secretive. Of all the people in my life, Thor was exactly as he presented himself to be. Even now, pity tainted his words.

"Fortunately, that wasn't necessary," I said softly, swallowing my pride and my thumping heart.

"For your sake and hers, I am glad to see she is well."

"Yes. And I...I thank you for what you did for us."

We stood facing one another, drowning in uncomfortable awkwardness—him because he didn't know how to receive thanks, and me because I didn't know quite how to give it.

I escaped by changing the subject. "Imagine my surprise when Heimdall claimed this came about because my sons met yours. What happened?"

Thor smiled with a childish excitement. "I really don't know." He shook his head and chuckled to himself. "Modi's had some trouble making friends of late. He's stayed here in the palace ever since I returned from Midgard to claim him, and while he's taken well to studies and weaponry, animals have made his best companions. That is, until he brought me two young boys who bore your name."

"It was my fault they stumbled across him."

"And I'm grateful for that fault, whatever it was." He put his heavy hand on my shoulder again, this time keeping it there and squeezing gently. "Loki, I wasn't certain you'd survived until that moment. When I saw Vali, all I could think was how much he reminded me of you. And Narvi...he has your annoying sense of correctness. I never thought I'd see such a thing. My brother, a father!"

My smile was involuntary, borne of pride and true appreciation. "They are wonderful, aren't they?"

"Yes. And you've changed because of them, haven't you?"

I nodded, holding back an instinct to gush about my sons and find out how they surpassed Modi—such a thing would've been immature and more like my former self. Now, I was dignified, and those conversations could be had with Sigyn alone.

"Modi takes after me the same way Vali does you. Narvi is a bit different, isn't he?"

"Indeed. Yet when he and Vali play together, they remind me of us. I'm embarrassed of how many times I've thought of you while watching them. I convinced myself they would be safer without this world, without the confusion of whether or not they belonged here. So I kept them from it. Selfishly. Because if I didn't belong here, why should they?" My prideful crest fell as I spoke, like a truth I couldn't admit to myself had finally left my lips.

"You do belong here." Thor finally stepped back and released me, but pointed at my extravagant cape. "Not sure this decoration will last through a battle, though."

"No, no...the cape will go before I step onto Vigrid. But it's nice to see you sporting something shorter," I said while tugging at his cape, which ended just behind his knees. "Can't easily trip at this length."

"Oh, be quiet, cow." He laughed with the command of his thunder, though unlike in my nightmares, it was with me and not at my expense.

Thor accompanied me down the stairs to my chamber, which was temporary, but still felt like a dream. If there was anything I could be thankful for in Ragnarok, it was repairing the cracks in my past; cracks that started deep beneath Asgard's palace and opened to the vast void of everlasting space, filled with nothing and every long-forgotten possibility at once.