A "Perfect" life -Lee Felix centric

The aftermath

After allowing his wounds to dry, Felix staggered back to the dorms. If he was being honest he didn't remember much about getting there, but was thankful he had somehow remembered to put his mask and cap back on, and the empty bottle in the bin.

Upon entering the dorms he was relieved to find the other members weren't back yet.

They must still be getting their photos taken, Felix thought*.*

Or maybe they all went somewhere together afterwards without me...

While stumbling his way down the hall, he caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror and his mind flashed again to what the haters had said earlier.

"the sleeves are probably to hide all that fat on his arms, he should be going on a diet for being such a pig"

And suddenly that was all he saw. The mirror didn't show the reality of how he looked, but rather what Felix believed the reality to be.

The mirror showed an overweight version of him with stubborn chubby cheeks.

And Felix hated that "pig" he saw.

That's why the next minute he was disregarding his clothes and shoes, allowing them to scatter all over the place, and pulling out the scale from underneath the bathroom cabinet.

He stepped on hurriedly, this time not waiting to see, but instead staring intensely as he waited for the doomed number to show.

In his drunken state, what the screen read was blurred and hazy -unreliable. But his mind betrayed him again. To Felix, the number he saw was high. Higher than it should've been.

It read 55kg.

5kg more than since a week ago?

The intoxicated Felix scampered away in shock and disgust at what the screen had supposedly displayed to him.

Without thinking he ran to his room, grabbing the small box hidden under a floorboard, failing to avoid bumping into the sides of doors and furniture on his way.

Those were sure to leave bruises the next day, but the boy felt nothing. He was used to pain much worse.

Finding himself in the bathroom again, having also grabbed his strewn about clothes on the way, Felix disregarded his boxers and stepped into the shower.

Shivering, he turned the water on and allowed the heat to flow down his body and onto the shower floor.

He shakily held the blade he had taken from the box to his thigh and attacked it.

He was merciless in streaking them red, watching as the water washed the blood away each time it surfaced, loving the way it stung as it did so.

He carved deep and continuously, adding lighter ones to his upper arms and wrists as well.

The numbers of cuts were accumulating, Felix's vision began to fog and he allowed the blade to fall from his grip as he sunk slowly to the floor.

So there Felix sat, slumped against the shower wall, bleeding unforgivingly from his arms and thighs as his mind wandered somewhere far away.

He came to with a splitting headache to the sound of the front door opening.

The hell?...

Shit I must've passed out, Felix realised.

Panic shot through him as he realised the shower was still going and he was still sat there with fresh cuts all over him.

He was thankful that they seemed to have stopped bleeding during whatever period of time he had been out for.

"Hey Felix you in there? We all want showers so hurry up!" he heard I.N say from the other side of the door.

"I'll be out soon!" he shouted back over the sound of the shower, voice wavering a little as he attempted to stand.

He blinked away the stars in his vision and turned the shower off with a shaky hand.

Making sure to use a dark towel, he carefully dried himself off and threw his clothes back on.

He would have to clean and bandage himself back in his own bathroom where his supplies were.

As he ran his hands down his face, Felix had a feeling he was forgetting something.

"Ah".

Looking back, he spotted his blade still on the shower floor, surrounded by some remaining pinkish water.

Sighing, he returned the blade to its spot among the others in the black box, pocketed it and washed down the floor.

With that he pushed the scale back under the cabinet with his foot and unlocked the door.

As soon as he stepped out, the boys were jostling past him, one yelled a dramatic "FINALLY" as he ran towards the shower, others made their way to the second bathroom and some to their rooms.

It disorientated Felix, the way the bustled past him, knocking into his shoulders and speaking loudly by his ears.

His head fell and water dripped from his still wet hair as he held his hands over his ears and waited for things to calm down.

This wasn't what he needed right now.

A pair of feet could be seen stopping in front of him, as an arm of their owner was wrapped around Felix and guided him somewhere.

He looked up in shock to see Hyunjin leading him to his room, closing the door and enveloping him in a hug.

Felix was a little shocked but accepted it nonetheless, taking in the familiar Gucci perfume he always wore.

As he pulled away, Hyunjin held him at arms length and asked him with a concerned fondness in his eyes "Are you okay now? Sorry I know we were a bit loud".

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Anyways have you eaten yet? We got food after practice and brought you some so you wouldn't miss out!"

So they did go somewhere without me...

"I actually got food on the way back myself too, so I'm okay but thanks Jinnie" Felix lied.

Seeing the disappointed look on Hyunjin's face though, made him feel bad.

You're disappointing him

"I guess I can eat that too though!"

Hyunjin's face lit up.

I'll just throw it up later

"Great you can eat it while we game!"

At that Felix's face lit up a little too.

They hadn't arranged to game together, but he wasn't going to deny the suggestion.

Gaming was one of the few things Felix still enjoyed, it allowed him to escape reality and didn't take any physical effort accept the moving of his fingers.

Plus Hyunjin was really bad at it, so the younger could laugh at him the whole time.

Felix ate the food that day, and because he was distracted playing games with Hyunjin, he forgot to throw it up for once.

He chose to ignore after realising the next day, that he felt a little less tired and a little less achy because of it.

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heyy so idk how I feel about this chapter I was kinda distracted while writing it (rewatching MHA) lol

anyways if you have any requests for scenarios tell me cos I literally have no idea where this story is going, I can't guarantee I'll use it but yeahh thanks for reading! :)