Loving Every Curve(Completed✔️)

Ch 1

🩷Don't forget to follow and vote!🩷

This book does have mature themes that are only appropriate for adults such as violence, sexual assault, sexual intercourse and more! If that's something you aren't comfortable with reading then I would advise you not to read this book! Your mental health is my first priority!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I once had a life that people would deem perfect. I had a dad who loved me and cared for me, which is more than most people can say. My mom was present, but she wasn't involved in my life. At first, it didn't bother me much because I was closer to my dad. However, when my dad passed away eight years ago, all I had left was my mom. My dad passed away when I was a senior in high school. My world came crashing down. It felt as if God had taken a piece of me. My dad was everything to me. He ensured I never felt misplaced or unloved. I can't imagine where I'd be without him. Years of bullying pushed me towards ending my life. But the love and support my dad gave me made me want to be alive. I can't say the same about my mother, and that's why, after I graduated, I went directly to college. I went to UC Berkeley six hours from Long Beach, California, where I am from. Despite my relief from my mom's presence, I still craved her love and approval. She never wanted me. She claimed I was a mistake and that, had my dad not pleaded with her, she would have had an abortion. It truly hurt my feelings to hear that my mom never wanted me, but it's not like I didn't realize before. She never took me shopping or hung out with me at home like normal moms did. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that my mom didn't like me.

She said she didn't like me because I was fat, and she didn't want to be around fat people. I made her look bad when I was around her, that's why she never took me out. I was big for my age, but I did try my best to lose weight. I did sports and everything but the weight stayed on. I started trying diets and different exercises to make me skinny. But they never worked, and after my dad died I got even bigger. She was happy when I left for college because she didn't have to be around me anymore. I wasn't messing up her perfect image anymore. For so long I thought something was wrong with me. It had to be my fault that I wasn't losing weight, I was enabling myself in some way shape, or form. However, that wasn't the case. I wasn't trying to lose weight for the right reasons. That's why the weight never stayed off of me. I wanted to please others which resulted in me hurting myself. I had to learn that nothing I did would ever please my mom or anyone and I should just stop trying.

But being over two hundred pounds is not the only problem that I have. I am a twenty-five-year-old woman living at home with her mom. I don't like living with my mom for obvious reasons, but she's the only family that I have right now. I don't know any of my family well enough to live with them. I feel as if she's only letting me stay with her because she doesn't want to see me on the street. After all, if I wasn't living with her, I would be homeless. I don't have any siblings. It's just me and my mom. I was never able to get to know any of my family because of my mom. She's the black sheep of the family and never allowed me to have contact with any of her family. Every time I brought up reaching out to her side of the family, she got angry and threatened to kick me out if I tried to contact them while living in her house. On the other hand, my dad, I love his side of the family. But after he died, everyone stopped talking to me. I feel like I remind them of my dad, and it's too painful to look at me without thinking about him.

Which I understand, but I still wish I had a family that supported me. But if I had the support of my mom then that would be enough for me. She made me hate myself because of all the slick remarks and the comments she made towards me, which made me insecure. However, the bullying put the icing on the cake. They used to talk about my weight and my skin but what hurt the most was my mom agreeing with them. When I told her, they said that I was fat and ugly. She said, "Well, are they wrong? You could lose a few pounds and invest in your appearance a little more." That day shattered our relationship because at that moment I needed her to tell me I was beautiful. She made sure I knew that she didn't think I was beautiful.

After a while, I just stopped listening to my mom because it would just make me feel extremely insecure. I know things won't change with her but I at least want to change for myself. I want things to be different, and I want to be able to become the woman that my dad wants me to be. I've decided to start taking care of myself and start focusing on myself. I like my job at the restaurant, but I want to get a better-paying job because this one doesn't cover my living expenses. I love the people there, but that's not going to get me to stay. Welcome to my life, it will be a rocky road.

I get up out of my bed and go to the bathroom so that I can get ready for work because I start at one p.m. today as I put on my face mask I hear a knock on the bathroom door.

"Hey, Aaliyah, are you up?" my mom said through the door. "Yeah, why?" I responded to her. "I need you to send me some money for my phone bill," she yelled through the door.