To the Future

chapter 5:the tears rolled and the secret is out(back to y/n's pov)

WARNING: SELF HARM

After a good hour of crying in my room I got the old feeling I used to get when my step dad would scream at me or my mom would hit me...I got the feeling of harming myself so I got up and walked to the bathroom figuring Noone would notice because of whatever was going on down stairs until I opened my door it went silent I shrugged not caring and walked to the bathroom locking the door I hear them talking a bit and started looking for my razor which was one of the old fasion ones. When I found it I took it right across my arm
1. He doesn't care he's just pretending
2. they're using me
3. EVERYONE. hates me
4.my life doesn't matter
5.they think im weird
6. I have attachment issues
7. Why am I not good enough
8......It repeats, Noone cares they just pretend like they do ant it repeats
9. Fuck blood is all over the place
10. Bandages I need to stop and get the bandages
11. ....I can't stop and won't
12.... 12 cuts on each arm.....
13. I'm numb might as well keep going
I keep going to I reach 25 on each arm ...it's only been 20 minutes..everything is black...everything.

TIME SKIP BROUGHT TO U BY URS TRULY (p.s you've been in the bathroom for about half an hour now)
I wake up and get myself cleaned up then I sit on the toilet "how could I be so stupid of course they care! They were raises to be gentlemen not to use people especially not women"...."they're going to hate me for what I did and thought...and about my past... everyone does..." I pull my knees up and cry for a good half an hour then leave all bandaged up and when I open the door agian everything goes silent I walk down stairs and as soon as I come in view washington tears up then the others notice why and they start tearing up as well washington having to cover his mouth to stay silent I hung my head tears starting to fall agian "what-....what happened?" I look up to see jefferson trying to calm washington down and john in front of me I stayed silent "how did you get hurt?..." I look in his eyes then turn around "I did it myself..." then out of nowhere I feel strong arms pull me in to a hug and I look back to see washington "why...why y/n?" ...... "because I thought you didn't care I thought I was in the way I thought I was useless.. non, je suis inutile (no I am useless)" alex and laf look at me "mon ami you are no where near useless! tu es forte, gentille, belle et donc très très utile ET useful (you are strong, kind, beautiful, and so very very helpful )" laf looked hurt that I would even think that and Alex he was steaming "LAF IS RIGHT WHO IN THE HELL MADE YOU FEEL USELESS??!!" ......"my parents started it" ...everyone softened the tears stopped and everyone was shocked some confused "y/n what do you mean by that?" Washington looked down at me and I sighed "everyone take a seat" they listened and I started to pace "I don't really like talking about this but here it goes.... when I stroke 10 my step dad started drinking heavy drinking he started screaming at me everyday to cook clean do this do that....then my mom couldn't take it she started getting stoned or high and started beating on me I couldn't call my dad or any one else because after my dad past my mom took my phone since she never wanted me to have one until I was 16....anyways the abuse continued for years til I was 13 I gave up on it I packed a bag a week before hand and waited and when that day came....

FLASHBACK TO THE DAY OF Y/N'S RUN AWAY

"m-mom please stop it hurts!!" Another strike to the face that's when HE walked through the door "shut it useless child" he walked over and gave mom a kiss it slowly turned into a make out then I coughed being slightly sick they rolled they're eyes and my mom hit me agian and my step dad spat on me "ima pay a little visit to you tonight after me and your mom has some fun~.....mistake" they walked off...to bad I won't be here for the "little visit" he started touching me inappropriately a few weeks back I think that's what really caused me to pack anyways after I started to hear the unholy noises that night I grabbed some food and something to drink I put them in my bag then snuck into my step father's car to get his cash along with some of my mom's and left in a hoodie and jeans I left. me and my mom had to learn English since the one she fell in love with was an English man. How ever my dad was French and my mother was Korean we lived in Korea so walking down the streets i'd get a "annyeong" or "oneul bam-eun eottae?" (HI and how is your night?) I didn't respond knowing what the answer would be. I raced to the air port using the money I got from my mom to pay to go to America and I would use my step dad's money there

BACK TO THE PRESENT

"And that's how I got to America and my backstory to why I'm like this now" i felt tears form in my eyes the boys were on the verge of tears themselves my tears now rolling down I wipe them and stand I clear my throat and check the time "ok time for bed I have 4 guests bed rooms so"..I stop to think "two in each room alex and john in one laf and herc in another thomas and james and then washington and aaron in the last one though yall will have to share a bed um get your baths I'll get mine last and james your cough medicine is in the cabinet take it before bed and when u wake up two pills each time you take it" they all nod and stand "I'll make dinner while yall get ready for bed that way yall eat then go straight to bed"

A/N: Ok my lovelies I am sick so I probably won't post a lot or it might be the other way around knowing me but feel free to reach out to me if need or wanted 😊💜